(no subject)

[apocalypsos]

You know what I would love to put a moratorium on in my entertainment?

-- I see this in books mostly, but when a female character insists on using the word "poop". God, that drives me nuts. Do you know anyone who stills uses that word? 'Cause I sure as hell don't. And as a curse word? ARGH. I might buy it from a character who's an upper-crust snobby Northeasterner, but please don't expect me to buy it from a city chick with no money. Trust me, we curse. We really curse. If adult men in stories don't say it, why the hell should a thirty-year-old woman who's supposedly had a hard life say it?

-- Heavily pregnant ladies in elevators. Dude, NO. Stop that. Nobody finds it funny, because it's the same dumbass jokes every time, and nobody watches a pregnant lady get into an elevator during an action movie and go, "Oh, no! She's getting into the elevator! Whatever will happen!" It's annoying, so stop that.

-- Any "I'm supposed to be a callous jerk" male sitcom-or-comedic-film character who says to a fat lady, "And when is your baby due?" Because at that point, I don't think he's a jerk -- I think he's either mentally handicapped or clinically insane, neither of which is amusing.

Anybody else want to put a moratorium on a stupid cliche or character trait while we're at it?

Comments

[paradisacorbasi.livejournal.com]

Potty humor in general. So tired of it.

The cliche of disaster movies: "You're the good looking hero. I'm the overweight, balding guy who's not gonna listen to you. I die horribly just as we discover you were right all along." I know, I know. I like the disaster too, but the obnoxious "I'm not listening" person buying it is so predictable at this point.

The music means something scary is about to happen. Let it scare us!

[aliaspiral.livejournal.com]

yes, yes i do.

personally, i HATEHATEHATE when a fic i am reading and enjoying about two characters getting together, gets them together and the story drops all semblence of a plot and they have SEXSEXSEX over and over and over unrealistically! i adore PWPs, thats not the problem. *glares*

i would also like to see the end of all badfic. period.

i would also like all my movies and books and fic to reduce their plotholes from the size of mac trucks to the size of mouseholes.

and i want those damn kids outta my yard! *waves walking stick threateningly*

(sorry about that, i just realized exactly how whiney and demanding i sounded)

[drewbeartx.livejournal.com]

Any gay male is almost always:
A) a flaming, lisping queen/slut (sitcoms)
B) an asexual being gay in name only (sitcoms & dramas)
or C) a tragic & oppressed figure who's probably suicidal (dramas)

Can I PLEASE see a normal guy with a nice, healthy relationship who just happens to be gay? Please?

[tinylegacies.livejournal.com]

Can I PLEASE see a normal guy with a nice, healthy relationship who just happens to be gay? Please?

Well where's the entertainment value in that??

I don't think there are any nice, healthy relationships anywhere on TV! That would be boring to watch.

[hannahrorlove.livejournal.com]

I'd like to see a person who usually doesn't explain themselves give at least a one-sentance reason why something is happening - "I need you to put your life in danger for this mission because you're the only person who knows how to do X" instead of "You've got to do this", for example.

It'd be great if people during difficult times in relationships would say what was bugging them about their partner instead of getting into disasterous situations that could be solved with a few minutes of talking.

[genepool23.livejournal.com]

Speaking of heavily pregnant women in elevators, I am reminded of an incedent that happened to me a couple of years ago.

I got into my elevator at work, and there were two women already in there. One of them was, obviously, very pregnant. So anyway, normaal elevator ride, la de da, until the pregnant woman turns to her friend and announces, brightly and smiling, "Im gonna miscarry!"

It took me a couple of minutes after getting off the elevator to regain my composure and come to the realization that Carrie was a woman in their office, and apparently, she would be missed.

*headslap*

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Oh, FOR REAL. Not only did someone repost "Prisoner of Azkaban in 15M" in its entirety without permission a few months ago, but they also took out all the curse words and replaced them with "fudge" and "poopy." As in, "Oh, poopy." NO MA'AM. YOU ARE GROUNDED.

The cliche I hate is that, whenever someone's gender is obscured (think motorcycle helmet), everyone's all like, "Whoa, that dude is AWESOME!," and then it turns out to be a girl. Sigh.

[aliaspiral.livejournal.com]

think motorcycle helmet

not in Grease 2! that has to count for something!

[hemlock-martini.livejournal.com]

* The token ethnic sidekick who dies horribly about 3/4ths of the way through, so that the (white) hero can save the day all by himself.

* The token Big Strong Black Dude who is incredibly tough but ends up dying anyway.

* The Wacky Computer Guy. "He's got a laptop and emo glasses! He must be an INTARWEB GENIUS!"

* Robot driving instructors and talking pies who travel back in time for some reason.

[kassandra05.livejournal.com]

* Robot driving instructors and talking pies who travel back in time for some reason.

What movie did I miss?

[miggy.livejournal.com]

I've said it before, re: what I would do if I was writing a big-budget disaster movie:

The family would be preparing to flee the scene, only to discover that their dog is missing. They spin wildly around and see the dog sitting in the middle of the street. Buildings above it are cracking and divesting themselves of all their decorative elements; also, a few spires. The dog looks helplessly at them and barks. Bark! Bark!

The adorable young child of the family breaks away from the hands of the Responsible Grownup. The kiddie runs to the dog and hugs it fiercely and tells it to come on, you're okay!

Then a wall falls off one of the buildings and crushes them both to death.

Responsible Grownups are, in fact, smarter than dogs or adorable kiddies.

[ilanalynn.livejournal.com]

I nearly started yelling at the movie when I watched the dogs survive in Volcano and Dante's Peak. But I think it would have been more fun to go see Dante's Peak with my volcanologist cousin and her volcanologist friends. They were laughing so much they were disturbing people and almost got kicked out of the theatre. :)

[tamnonlinear.livejournal.com]

No more confrontations outside of LoveInterest's house in the rain. Just NO. If you can't have a civilized conversation on a nice sunny day, you may be a drama addict and your relationship is dysfunctional. I never again want to see two people out on the street, arguing about how they can't live without each other or have broken each other's hearts. If they must, I want a car suffering from reduced visibility to run them both over. And then back up and do it again.

Making out in the rain is still okay though, because it is wet and sexy, but not if it's right after the fight. I have objections to makeup!sex in general.

[marag.livejournal.com]

Mmm, yes, that's an excellent point. I must admit I've occasionally been guilty of using rain to show that characters are sad ::hangs head in shame:: but I can't stand the scenes where characters are standing in the rain and arguing.

Good grief, people! Go stand in a fricking bus shelter or something. Standing in the rain just shows you're not smart enough to get under cover.

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

when a female character insists on using the word "poop". God, that drives me nuts. Do you know anyone who stills uses that word?

::raises hand:: I have a 3 year old. All mothers of toddlers say "poop", god help us.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but there's a difference between "I have a three-year-old and can't curse in front of them," which is acceptable, and "I'm surrounded by adults and am supposedly in the middle of kicking serious ass," in which it isn't, and is mostly worthy of mocking.

[thornsilver]

1. Ethnic sterotypes. The list is long and I will probably miss some anyway.

2. Women on dangerous situations/lost in the wilderness with perfect hair, nails and makeup. And all dipilated.

3. Any male character who just had gaysex and proceeds to think/say "but I am not gay, I am just attracted to him" should be immidately hit by lighting.

4. And in smut: please make your victims chracters use lube when having anal sex.

[florahart]

hit by lighting.

Sorry, because I do know that's just a typo, but, BWahahahahahahahahahaha!

Lamps! Everywhere! OMG! Fluorescent! Incandescent! Battery-operated flashlights! Even the candles come raining down upon him!

[wal-lace.livejournal.com]

Actually, I do know a girl - no, wait, an about-to-be-26-year-old woman - who says 'Oh, Poo' as a swear word. But then, she has a Hello Kitty keychain and a habit of periodically declaring that her boyfriend has the smallest bum in the world, so she's not exactly normal.

And in that third point - you don't include when Roz did it to a police woman on Frasier, do you?

Anyway, I want a moratorium on Heroes Ignoring Bullet Wounds. It's not something you walk off, it's a lump of metal embedded in your body! And also on people somehow acquiring magic horses which can run all day without dropping dead.

Oh, and Stupid Chiefs. If the Cop/Soldier/Fireman/Secret Agent hasn't been able to build a working relationship with the guy set above him, it doesn't say good things about him. This doesn't apply if the chief is actually evil, of course.

[drewbeartx.livejournal.com]

Anyway, I want a moratorium on Heroes Ignoring Bullet Wounds. It's not something you walk off, it's a lump of metal embedded in your body! And also on people somehow acquiring magic horses which can run all day without dropping dead.

But didn't you know that all heros are robots and horses are just cars with feet instead of wheels? I mean, come on! Every bad fantasy writer knows that!

[adjectivegirl.livejournal.com]

If I see ONE MORE DAMN MAGICAL BLACK WOMAN IN MOVIES I'M GONNA THROW MYSELF OUT A WINDOW.

And aim for a studio exec. Stop with the special powers so we don't have to characterize bullshit.

"Spunky" or "quirky" females. I don't CARE how cute it is that she wears knits. How about rage filled women? Lot more of those around than are represented.

Rain. Just--rain. I'm looking at you, John Cusack.

[paradisacorbasi.livejournal.com]

Magical black woman?

[pie-is-good.livejournal.com]

I say things like poop, but not when I'm really upset or anything.

[paradisacorbasi.livejournal.com]

More moratorium:

"Let's split up." so the monster/alien/psycho can pick us off one by one.

"It's dark in there." So TAKE A SPROCKING FLASHLIGHT WITH YOU WHEN YOU GO IF YOU INSIST ON GOING!

[astaria51.livejournal.com]

No more stalker camera angles. You know what I mean. That camera angle where you're immediately aware that the person is being watched. A la Jurassic Park and Scream.

Or the first half hour of The Grudge, worst movie on earth. I'm AFRAID of horror movies, ok? I sat there going, "Oh, man, she walked into the creepy camera angle. Stupid girl."

Or walking into rooms that are obviously dangerous. Resident Evil 2: STOP PEERING INTO ROOMS COVERED IN BLOODY HANDPRINTS. THEY PROBABLY CONTAIN FLESH EATING ZOMBIES. Dumbass.

Oh! Oh! That's my third one. The totally worn out creepy child cliche. Aaaaggggh. English children are creepy. Little girls are also creepy. Especially with weird bows in their hair. We agree with you. But damn, stop using them in every action/horror/drama flick on the planet!!

[vivian-shaw.livejournal.com]

The little kid and the dog who always survive the hideous catastrophe. Just once I want to see that goddamn little kid get squashed by a falling rock or run over or something. Everybody else dies, why don't they?

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Wasn't it 'The Mimic' that had the two cute kiddies get slaughtered? It was great. There was gross sound effects and everything.

[avallonia.livejournal.com]

I am over thirty and say poop multiple times a day --- of course it is in reference to the bowel movements of my three year old, so I think that gives me a free pass. It's not like I say - "Oh poop! Gosh darn it! That really cheeses me off!" - although I admit it was kinda fun to type it :).

[99catsaway.livejournal.com]

Good post, TP! I might steal . . and I have a few peeves of my own:

- It's always a leading man with a younger, completely svelte, "sidekick" which becomes the romantic interest.
- Women are ALWAYS interested in marriage and diamonds.
- Men never want to "settle down".
- Women are always wearing makeup - even on their deathbeds (I'm thinking of Outbreak with Dustin Hoffman and Renee Russo).

[wiredwizard.livejournal.com]

One cliche' irks me to no end: in gunfights in movies & tv shows, people have an unlimited ammo supply in their guns unil someone running out & being caught defenseless is required by the plot twist. I don't care if you're John Wayne/Clint Eastwood/Chuck Norris/Sylvester Stallone/Mel Gibson/The Lone smegging Ranger/Will Smith/whatever - you still can't shoot & kill 72 consecutive people with a 6-shot pistol *without reloading! I mean I'm all for suspension of disbelief & all, but there suspension of disbelief & there there's just plain stupid...

The other cliche' that bugs me to no end is the hero has just one shot left & bang! it's a kill shot right between the big bad's eyes. I mean *puhlease! If the dopus could shoot like that, why in the name of Cthulhu didn't he just pick the schmuck off with the *first shot instead of waiting to get shot 3-4 times himself. I know, I know: they do it that way for the Drrrrraaaaaaammmmaaaaaaa, but it's just plain stupid. Indiana Jones got it right in the first movie. Psycho comes at him with a giant scimitar - Indy shrugs draws his pistol & just caps him. It was a great scene.

I could rant on, but I better not. ;)

QX - Buster out.

[tamnonlinear.livejournal.com]

I'm adding to that the bad gun use cliche of person having the gun kicked out of their hands before they ever get to fire, particularly if the person is a police officer or FBI agent (thinking here of x-files, where I swear they never pulled a gun but they lost it. I watched that show for four seasons and I don't think I ever saw an agent successfully fire a firearm).

Can we please assume that people who have guns might actually know how to fire them?

Poop

[tianyu.livejournal.com]

I agree. Everyone knows girls don't poop!

[trishalynn.livejournal.com]

My boy neosquirrel is very, very likely to use words like "gosh" and "golly" in everyday conversation. I've even got it recorded on my LJ that he told someone else that it was a "hoot and a holler" to meet them at a recent anime convention. (Honey, if you're reading this, I kid because I love. Really.)

[teenygozer.livejournal.com]

I am sick to death of the older guy whose girlfriend/wife/mistress/whatever is young enough to be his daughter... or worse, his granddaughter! (I'm looking at YOU Sean Connery!) Check out the new movie, After the Sunset, starring Pierce Brosnan and Selma Hayek... or don't, because it's crap. But during the coming attractions, I made many nasty comments about how elderly babysitters should keep their hands off of their young charges.

Do elderly men go to see these movies for the fantasy element that they, too, might get themselves a sexy young girl someday?

[wal-lace.livejournal.com]

The fact is, that's rooted in reality. Money is a powerful aphrodisiac, and a certain kind of old man likes to use that. Just look at Anna Nicole Smith.

[callie-chan.livejournal.com]

1) The protagonist of anything, whom I usually hate with a burning passion because he is a) clueless, b) an idiot, c) a clueless idiot, and d) gets way too much screentime, is somehow a chick magnet. Seriously--everyone wants to do him, despite problems a through d mentioned above.

2) Aforementioned protagonist always survives, as does the most clueless of the females who wants to bang him. This needs to be fixed.

3) My favorite secondary character always dies. ALWAYS. It's gotten so bad that as soon as a secondary character does something remotely cool/amusing/likeable, I exclaim "oh, great, now he's going to die horribly".

4) People hooking up in action/disaster/horror movies. Somehow if a volcano is exploding or zombies are rising from their graves or half the population of the earth is dying out, I don't exactly see myself or anyone else feeling particularly romantic. On the other hand, frantic "well, we're probably going to die anyway" sex would be more sensible, not to mention less gag-inducing.

5) People trying to defend the natural beauty of the earth from being wiped out by technology. You know what I have never seen? Nature overrunning the earth and people having to start slashing and burning rainforests just to keep things in check. Tip the scale the other damn way for a change, I'm bored with robot overlords.

6) Every movie should have a ninja. This isn't so much as a cliche that should be stopped as a cliche that should be introduced. Everything is better with ninjas. Cereal is better with ninjas. I would even have voted for Bush if he'd whipped out some shuriken(well, probably not, but I would have seriously considered it for a minute).

-Callisto

[lye-can-thrope.livejournal.com]

Everything is better with ninjas. Cereal is better with ninjas.

OMG you have totally started the new marshmallow sweetened oat cereal craze. I'm calling Post and Kellog's right now. It's OVER.

This is better than the time my husband and I tried to make Lego Eggos, waffles shaped like building blocks that you could paint with colored flavored syrups and eat.

[shinga.livejournal.com]

Renegade cops. You know, the ones who can only solve big cases if their badge is taken away by their boss. *twitches*

And along the lines of being tired of the "tough girls" who are mistaken for men and are bitchy and strong and all... is it just me, or does it ALWAYS turn out with one or more of the following traits,
. Dead mother... the dad is usually alive
. Single child, or only brothers(all probably older)
. Seeking revenge for something or other, no one really actually CARES what
. Leather. Lots of leather. And guns.
. Martial arts... nuff said

And it always turns out they're just angsty fluffy girls inside, who long for love and squishy happiness and lots of steamy hawt sex with the leading character. Either that or they're never paired with anyone and there's lesbian/butch subtex... those ones usually die though.