(no subject)

[apocalypsos]

If one more person today talks to me as if I've got tapioca pudding for brains, I reserve the right to eviscerate them with a Sharpie. *seethes*

My particular favorite was between me and some moron on the phone.

Moron: I'm waiting for the driver to deliver my package. How much longer before the driver comes back to the station, so that I'll know how much longer I have to wait?
Me: I'm not sure, ma'am. It could be anywhere from 7:30 to 8:30.
Moron: *aggravated sigh* Let me try this again. What is the latest the driver will come back?
Me in my head: What part of 8:30 is so difficult for you to understand? The colon?
Me in reality: *dryly* Eight-thirty.
Moron: So how long will I have to wait, then?
Me: *checks moron's address in computer, hops bus, goes to house, knocks on door, waits for answer, and smacks whoever's holding the phone with a frozen trout*

Also, to my co-worker ... it's not so much me being annoyed with you as it is a personal space issue when you walk up to tell me something in front of a customer, put both hands on my shoulders, lean forward, rest your chin on my shoulder and whisper in my ear. Unless you're Johnny Depp, lay off. Sheesh. (And talking to me like I'm an idiot about some stupid detail regarding which airbill I've been using when you know damn well I've been working with the company and using that airbill with no complaints for a year ... yeah. Go away now, kthnxbi. Grr.)

In other news, it's my grandmother's birthday today. My mom suggested I call her and wish her a happy birthday and thank her for the Christmas card she sent me. I should point out that I've lived in this place for a year and a half and my grandmother doesn't know my address, didn't bother to ask anybody what my address was, and instead just sent my card to my mother, meaning there's a check I could really use that's at my parents's house. *sigh* (And I really feel guilty about being so superficial in regards to my grandmother's Christmas present, but since I haven't seen her in almost two years because she's been too busy behaving like a spoiled, petulant little girl, I'll let myself slide.)

EDIT: Gollum gets a diagnosis! Hee. That article amuses me far more than I imagine it should, because I love classes that make students analyze pop culture like that. :)

Comments

[dryad-duinath.livejournal.com]

Just friended you, and would like to say that frozen salmon are generally better for smacking people in the face. Seriously, the smack is so much more satisfying! :)

[budclare.livejournal.com]

*is in love with the Sharpie notion*

[lil1pinay.livejournal.com]

I wrote a paper diagnosing Gollum with Dissociative Identity Disorder a couple years ago for my Clinical Psyc class and got an A. In my paper, I had to imagine giving him an interview as well as a variety of psychological tests. But, uh, don't listen to me, I'm not a med student or anything. =P

[silent-sybil.livejournal.com]

EDIT: Gollum gets a diagnosis! Hee. That article amuses me far more than I imagine it should, because I love classes that make students analyze pop culture like that. :)



...That is fantastic.