apocalypsos | (no subject)

U.S. Makes U.N. Push to Widen Iraq Force (AP) - Secretary of State Colin Powell launched a new effort Thursday to broaden the American-led coalition force in Iraq. But he made clear Washington won't cede any authority, as France and other nations have demanded. France, which led opposition to the war in Iraq, said that if the United States now wants countries to share the military burden of restoring peace to the country, it must share authority. Powell insisted U.S. leadership provides "competent control" of the force.

So let me get this straight. When the government wanted to go to war and other countries said they weren't going to assist, the U.S. government's reaction was to the effect of, "Well, screw you guys! We can invade Iraq all by ourselves!" But now the government wants everybody else to come and help? WTF?!

*headwall**headwall**headwall*

And don't you just love the promotional tour for the Patriot Act? You know, if it whitened my teeth, shrunk my thighs, gave me rock-hard abs, and let me have a two-week vacation in Hawaii with Orlando Bloom and the freedom to do with him as I wished instead of taking away all of my fucking rights if I use a shampoo recommended by four out of five Al-Queda terrorists ... well, I'd probably be a lot more accepting of the damn thing, wouldn't I?

Argh. Hate Dubya. Am starting to become positive he's going to invade North Korea and start World War III. As am now living very, very close to Washington, DC, can safely say that I most absolutely, most definitely am not afraid of the dark and therefore would like to refrain from becoming a walking, snarking nightlight after the fallout.

In other news, on the way home from work today,

qnotku,

tree220 and I got to talking about how we'd kill Marti Noxon if given a chance.

qnotku brought up an interesting death sentence, which was this female serial killer in ancient Rome who was publicly raped by a specially-trained giraffe and torn apart by wild animals. And I don't care if I do know how by now -- I still find myself asking three questions --

1. How in the holy name of all that is FUCK do you train a giraffe to do that, and does it involve a hell of a lot of liquor and a Barry White album?

2. Actually, I know now how they did it -- the trainer swabbed a female giraffe in heat and sort of applied the ... um ... swab in just the right spot on the victim. Which makes you wonder, who the hell signs up for this job?! Is this what happens when you only get a MMML on your ancient Roman SATs? You have to stand around for days on end with a giant swab and an embarrassed smirk for disdainful passersby?

And 3. How much do you people think I'm giggling right now knowing that I just ruined Toys R Us commercials for you for the rest of eternity? *insert maniacal cackle*

EDIT: Ooo, ooo! A very cool meme jacked from

afropuff and someone else on my friends list whose username escapes me at the moment ... Tell me a secret. Post anonymously. I won't know who you are. Tell me anything, and then watch me go crazy not knowing who the secrets belong to. Whether your secret is silly or scandalous, tell it to me.