(no subject)

[apocalypsos]

I just realized how weird the LJ panel at DragonCon is going to be to me. It'll be like being in a roomful of friends and strangers (this is the part where I snark about nobody being stranger than the gang on my friends list, right?) while wearing a bandanna over your eyes and having to guess who's who by picking their pocket when they're not looking and rifling through their ID.

And thinking about it, it'd probably end up that "friends list envy" is the unofficial "penis envy" of LiveJournal.

Me: I have a hundred and forty on my friends list.
Anonymous LJ Stranger: Oh, yeah? Well, I've got two hundred on my friends list. *raspberry*
Me: *genuinely confused* How do you have sex with your friends list when it gets up to 200?
ALjS: *also genuinely confused* You have sex with your friends list?!
Me: You don't?!

Followed, of course, by dual staggers of weary confusion towards the nearest Internet connection, where I'll snuggle up to my friends list in gratitude and the anonymous LJ stranger will do like that monkey in the sex experiments and keep hitting the "Update Journal" button and shagging his friends list until he dies.

Of course, if he had worn a finger condom, that wouldn't have happened. (Shameful, really.)

And just for that ... *user pounces on her friends list and shags away, wondering just the right way to say that she's carrying her friends list's love child*

Comments

[artemis-child.livejournal.com]

Lord save the world from that evil spawn given the rampant perviness and general corruption of your friends list ::shudders::
On the plus side though : the little bugger is bound to be cute ~_^

[weaverandom.livejournal.com]

*shags back happily* I feel your pain. I also carry multiple love-children of my friends list. We can bake cookies and swap horrible pregnancy stories.

[cmstephens.livejournal.com]

Y'know, if not for the friends-list shagging from you, I'd have no sex life at all...

[wal-lace.livejournal.com]

Wasn't me. I was asleep. Every time. Rats.

What's that? You took advantage of me in my sleep? That's... I demand a postcoital cigarette, at the very least.

[myniamh.livejournal.com]

I feel luved up.
*gigglesandsnuggles*

[qnotku.livejournal.com]

Have you thought of putting a pair of golden arches over your bed? *veg*

hogs and quiches,
T

ooookkkkkkaaaaayyyyyyy . . .

[tree220.livejournal.com]

well you realize that you've got to take care of it and feed it and clean up after it and litter train it or whatever the hell you do with them. it's your responsibility . . .

Please get the damned shagging out of your system...

[mostlynormal1.livejournal.com]

before Nate and I have to spend 10 hours with you in the car. First of all, there won't be an internet connection for y9ou to link to from the car. Secondly, we don't want to have to deal with your post-coital second-hand cigarette smoke. And thirdly, pregnant women don't get to drink unlimited numbers of pepsis and eat unlimited numbers of cheetos. Perhaps you should clean up your little "accident" before the trip. *g*

Re: Please get the damned shagging out of your system...

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Hey, where's those icon pics you asked for, missy? I'm bored here. ;P (Okay, I'm actually slacking off and looking for something to do, but still.)

Re: Please get the damned shagging out of your system...

[mostlynormal1.livejournal.com]

LOL. I'll send them to you. N8 might send some too. I'm hooking him up with LJ. (yeah, we're ALL addicts now.)

Psst! Log into IM, dammit! I'm bored too!

Shagging

[wonderlander.livejournal.com]

Was it as good for you as it was for us? That is not my child though.

[jrosestar.livejournal.com]

You're going to make me have to actually join metaquotes just to post you aren't you?

And I'm not taking responsibility for the child either - I'm sterile!

Jean.