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Aug. 26th, 2003 12:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apocalypsosWas just peeking over at the original Flavor of the Moment I was posting to back on Blogger. Gyah. This is so weird. I can't even remember writing half this crap. Must be some sort of estrogen-based amnesia or something.
I wish I could remember writing some of this stuff, though. Like --
Hugh [Jackman] is not allowed to say things like "There’s one scene [in X2] where I’m running down a tunnel wearing my claws and nothing else – though thankfully I’m backlit. I’m completely naked and I’m going, ‘There’s millions of dollars worth of CGI in this film, you can’t throw a couple of inches my way?’” and not expect a reaction. Then again, most of my reaction involved passing out and having to have oxygen administered, but still, it counts.
I have no patience. Literally. I was born with a total lack of patience whatsoever. One day they're going to have a telethon for people like me, and Jerry Lewis is going to roll me out onto the stage looking all pathetic and whatnot, and I'm going to get so bored with the wait, I'm going to spring up out of the wheelchair and go running at Jerry like a very small linebacker. (I never said it'd be a successful telethon.)
There should be a "Down With Love" paper doll kit where you get to undress Ewan over and over again. Then again, it'd probably come with a Renee paper doll and her gazillion '60s outfits, but I'll duct tape her to the picture of Hugh Jackman I ripped out of "People's 50 Most Beautiful People" issue. I'm sure they'll be very happy together.
Gotta respect [Keanu] for even considering the notion of going back to the Ted, though. Ask Mark Wahlberg to put on low-riding boxers and rap for you. See what he tells you. I think "no" would be the only word he'd say that didn't consist of four letters.
It's sort of like ... do you remember that little girl who was in the news something like ten years ago who had some sort of facial birth defect with her muscles where she couldn't smile? She was in all of these magazines, and she got this operation to fix it, and then she could smile. Of course, then her parents went and got a divorce and ten bucks says she didn't do too much smiling after that. (Now that, my friends, is the definition of irony.) The thing is, every time I see Keanu act (with the exception of Ted "Theodore" Logan), I keep thinking that if he'd just get that operation, he'd win an Oscar. Lead and supporting. A couple more operations, and he could win all four acting awards, but I digress.
Re: "Matrix Reloaded" -- Here's my new rule for Keanu and Carrie-Anne and Laurence -- ACT. It's okay, you can do it. Feel free to express an emotion, okay? Because this thing where you play "Whoever stays the most stoic during this scene gets a puppy"? Yeah, that gets real annoying. I mean, if anybody who can do a really good poker face gets to be in a Matrix movie, then I should get to star in the next one. They can call me Sparkplug or Spongebob or Mort of something wiggy like that, and I can think philosophical thoughts while kicking ass and dangling in midair in leather outfits. Good times, y'all.
I'm so irritated. Really. I need a drink. (Hulk smashed. Hulk wake up next morning next to coyote-ugly chick. Hulk need coffee, aspirin, and a taxi. NOW.)
*sigh* This is how lazy I am. Could be working on scripts, am surfing sites I tossed out months ago.
In other news, have been watching episodes of "The Family Guy" and can happily announce that I am most like Stewie -- short, yappy, inevitably annoyed by my mom, and in serious need of a large death ray.
I wish I could remember writing some of this stuff, though. Like --
Hugh [Jackman] is not allowed to say things like "There’s one scene [in X2] where I’m running down a tunnel wearing my claws and nothing else – though thankfully I’m backlit. I’m completely naked and I’m going, ‘There’s millions of dollars worth of CGI in this film, you can’t throw a couple of inches my way?’” and not expect a reaction. Then again, most of my reaction involved passing out and having to have oxygen administered, but still, it counts.
I have no patience. Literally. I was born with a total lack of patience whatsoever. One day they're going to have a telethon for people like me, and Jerry Lewis is going to roll me out onto the stage looking all pathetic and whatnot, and I'm going to get so bored with the wait, I'm going to spring up out of the wheelchair and go running at Jerry like a very small linebacker. (I never said it'd be a successful telethon.)
There should be a "Down With Love" paper doll kit where you get to undress Ewan over and over again. Then again, it'd probably come with a Renee paper doll and her gazillion '60s outfits, but I'll duct tape her to the picture of Hugh Jackman I ripped out of "People's 50 Most Beautiful People" issue. I'm sure they'll be very happy together.
Gotta respect [Keanu] for even considering the notion of going back to the Ted, though. Ask Mark Wahlberg to put on low-riding boxers and rap for you. See what he tells you. I think "no" would be the only word he'd say that didn't consist of four letters.
It's sort of like ... do you remember that little girl who was in the news something like ten years ago who had some sort of facial birth defect with her muscles where she couldn't smile? She was in all of these magazines, and she got this operation to fix it, and then she could smile. Of course, then her parents went and got a divorce and ten bucks says she didn't do too much smiling after that. (Now that, my friends, is the definition of irony.) The thing is, every time I see Keanu act (with the exception of Ted "Theodore" Logan), I keep thinking that if he'd just get that operation, he'd win an Oscar. Lead and supporting. A couple more operations, and he could win all four acting awards, but I digress.
Re: "Matrix Reloaded" -- Here's my new rule for Keanu and Carrie-Anne and Laurence -- ACT. It's okay, you can do it. Feel free to express an emotion, okay? Because this thing where you play "Whoever stays the most stoic during this scene gets a puppy"? Yeah, that gets real annoying. I mean, if anybody who can do a really good poker face gets to be in a Matrix movie, then I should get to star in the next one. They can call me Sparkplug or Spongebob or Mort of something wiggy like that, and I can think philosophical thoughts while kicking ass and dangling in midair in leather outfits. Good times, y'all.
I'm so irritated. Really. I need a drink. (Hulk smashed. Hulk wake up next morning next to coyote-ugly chick. Hulk need coffee, aspirin, and a taxi. NOW.)
*sigh* This is how lazy I am. Could be working on scripts, am surfing sites I tossed out months ago.
In other news, have been watching episodes of "The Family Guy" and can happily announce that I am most like Stewie -- short, yappy, inevitably annoyed by my mom, and in serious need of a large death ray.
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by the way . . .
no subject
Date: 2003-08-26 11:21 am (UTC)For example, later on tonight, I plan on going down to the nearest pet store, buying every ferret in sight, dressing them up in Catholic school uniforms, and taking them out barhopping.
ah . . .
Date: 2003-08-26 11:26 am (UTC)