Something to pass time ...

[apocalypsos]

In honor of Kansas debating on whether to teach evolution or creationism, tell me how we got here, and be as creative as possible. :)

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[robyn-ma.livejournal.com]

According to the Gospel of Stephen Trask:

¹When the earth was still flat, and the clouds made of fire, and mountains stretched up to the sky, sometimes higher, ²folks roamed the earth like big rolling kegs. They had two sets of arms. They had two sets of legs. ³They had two faces peering out of one giant head so they could watch all around them as they talked; while they read. ⁴And they never knew nothing of love. ⁵It was before the origin of love.

⁶And there were three sexes then, one that looked like two men glued up back to back, called the children of the sun. ⁷And similar in shape and girth were the children of the earth. They looked like two girls rolled up in one. ⁸And the children of the moon were like a fork shoved on a spoon. They were part sun, part earth, part daughter, part son.

⁹Now the gods grew quite scared of our strength and defiance, and Thor said, ¹⁰"I'm gonna kill them all with my hammer, like I killed the giants." And Zeus said, ¹¹"No, you better let me use my lightning, like scissors, like I cut the legs off the whales and dinosaurs into lizards." ¹²Then he grabbed up some bolts and he let out a laugh, said, ¹³"I'll split them right down the middle. Gonna cut them right up in half." ¹⁴And then storm clouds gathered above into great balls of fire.

¹⁵And then fire shot down from the sky in bolts like shining blades of a knife. And it ripped right through the flesh of the children of the sun ¹⁶and the moon and the earth. And some Indian god sewed the wound up into a hole, pulled it round to our belly to remind us of the price we pay. ¹⁷And Osiris and the gods of the Nile gathered up a big storm to blow a hurricane, to scatter us away, in a flood of wind and rain, and a sea of tidal waves, to wash us all away.

¹⁸And if we don't behave they'll cut us down again and we'll be hopping round on one foot ¹⁹and looking through one eye.

[nextian.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD ARISTOPHANES FROM PLATO LOVE LOVE LOVE.

Um, yeah, I'm not a classics geek at all.