(no subject)
Jun. 2nd, 2005 09:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apocalypsosDear God,
Hi! I know I don't talk to you that often, but then again, considering how I think of you less as an old, pissy guy with a long white beard and a robe throwing down on humanity and more like a sneaky little shapeshifting bastard who runs around toying with the human race for kicks, maybe I figure you're offended. I don't know.
In any event, I'm writing to ask you for a new job.
See, here's my problem. As amusing as "I don't like my job and I don't think I'm going to go anymore" can be in Office Space, it actually doesn't work so well in reality. No matter that I'm about ten seconds away from saying that exact phrase out loud to someone important like Bossman or the Glorified Optimist ... it'd still get my ass at least verbally kicked.
So here's what I was thinking, because going through Monster.com is pissing me off. I don't really want to just up and quit and go to the temp place again, so I just thought I'd point out that I have a ticket for the $106 million Mega Millions jackpot this Friday. Obviously, I don't want to win the whole thing.
Okay, so I do, but let's be as realistic as possible here, considering this is a letter to an omniscient all-powerful possibly imaginary entity begging for cash.
It'd just be really nice if I could get four of the numbers, because four of the numbers gives me five thousand bucks. For five thousand bucks, I can buy myself a used car and get my ass back to Pennsylvania and never have to look at a DHL station again, since the NEPA DHL station is up by Rocky Glen and nobody goes there on purpose anymore.
If you could do that for me, I would really appreciate it, and it's possible I'd stop ragging on you for last year's presidential election. Thanks bunches!
Sincerely,
Me
Hi! I know I don't talk to you that often, but then again, considering how I think of you less as an old, pissy guy with a long white beard and a robe throwing down on humanity and more like a sneaky little shapeshifting bastard who runs around toying with the human race for kicks, maybe I figure you're offended. I don't know.
In any event, I'm writing to ask you for a new job.
See, here's my problem. As amusing as "I don't like my job and I don't think I'm going to go anymore" can be in Office Space, it actually doesn't work so well in reality. No matter that I'm about ten seconds away from saying that exact phrase out loud to someone important like Bossman or the Glorified Optimist ... it'd still get my ass at least verbally kicked.
So here's what I was thinking, because going through Monster.com is pissing me off. I don't really want to just up and quit and go to the temp place again, so I just thought I'd point out that I have a ticket for the $106 million Mega Millions jackpot this Friday. Obviously, I don't want to win the whole thing.
Okay, so I do, but let's be as realistic as possible here, considering this is a letter to an omniscient all-powerful possibly imaginary entity begging for cash.
It'd just be really nice if I could get four of the numbers, because four of the numbers gives me five thousand bucks. For five thousand bucks, I can buy myself a used car and get my ass back to Pennsylvania and never have to look at a DHL station again, since the NEPA DHL station is up by Rocky Glen and nobody goes there on purpose anymore.
If you could do that for me, I would really appreciate it, and it's possible I'd stop ragging on you for last year's presidential election. Thanks bunches!
Sincerely,
Me
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no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 02:21 pm (UTC)it's possible I'd stop ragging on you for last year's presidential election
Possible but not likely? =P
no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 02:28 pm (UTC)Possible but not likely? =P
Exactly. :)
no subject
Date: 2005-06-02 04:18 pm (UTC)