More random thoughts ...

[apocalypsos]

You know what hospitals should hire? Name consultants. You know, for all of those mothers who give their kids embarrassing names without thinking about it. They wouldn't even need college degrees or anything, just half a brain. Hell, they could be fourth-graders.

"Mrs. Seaman, this is Billy, the local schoolyard bully. Billy, tell Mrs. Seaman why you would beat the crap out of Peter if he were in school with you right now."

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I've decided that I'm really glad I'm a virgin. You know, since they're not throwing us into volcanos anymore.

They're not, are they?

Um, forget I said anything.

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Madonna has two kids named Lola Leon and Rocco Ritchie. Is it just me, or is she producing her own strip club? One stripper, one bouncer.

See, you people think I'm kidding. But if she has another kid and gives it a DJ name, don't say I didn't warn you.

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Did your mother ever pull off those useless mommy threats, like, "You keep this up, and I'll put you right back where I found you"? I always wondered how she planned on explaining to people how my head got in there.

Comments

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Hee. Those were the jackasses we used to call back at nine in the morning on Saturday. We weren't supposed to, but hell, when we said we'd call back, they said okay.

If they would have just said, "No," we might leave them alone. But alas.

[deadspiders.livejournal.com]

Ah, that's the price they must pay. Didn't their parents ever tell them not to talk to strangers? They should have heeded the advice...