apocalypsos: (witch princess)
[personal profile] apocalypsos
Because it wouldn't leave my head ...

Baby Talk

Chris perked up the second Piper stepped out of the conservatory, then sat down cross-legged next to the car seat on the floor. "Okay, you two, we need to talk."

Before he could grab his brother, Wyatt wandered over and plopped down in his lap, his attention still mostly focused on the toy cars in his hands. Wyatt was usually a lap kid who found his way into the first open spot he could wriggle into, which both amused and weirded out Chris to no end. The Wyatt he was used to was more apt to punch him and telekinetically throw him against walls. Curling up in Chris's lap and demanding his brother share his Cheerios with him was serious therapy fodder.

The baby, meanwhile, stared up at him with wide green eyes in a sort of odd fascination. As far as Chris knew, a baby's vision was still pretty fuzzy at two weeks old, but he always gaped amazedly up at Chris as if he knew damn well who he was and was plainly confused as to what the hell he was doing there. He could almost hear what went on in the kid's mind. Hey. Hey, you. You're not supposed to be here. The battle's over, right? Wyatt's saved. It's over. Besides, this thing where there are two people named Chris in the house is getting confusing. So, you know, go home. Go on. Shoo.

Of course, he didn't want to go home to the future just yet. Fear that he might not have changed a damn thing will do that to a guy.

"Look," he said, getting Wyatt's attention, "do me a favor, all right? I spent all this time saving your ass, so the least you could do is not accept candy or puppies from any stray demons or anything." Pause. "And get a haircut. Long hair makes you look evil."

Wyatt handed him one of the toy cars and babbled something about Elmo and Big Bird.

Chris looked down at the Matchbox in his hand, then shrugged and stuck it on the blanket covering his baby self. Eyeing little Chris and figuring what the hell, he said to Wyatt, "And if you could not tell your brother he can fly, I'd appreciate it."

Wyatt stuck his other car on the baby blanket and smiled up at Chris.

The baby grunted and waved his arms up at them. Chris narrowed his eyes at the kid. "While I'm at it, if Wyatt does tell you you can fly, please don't jump out of a tree to prove it. Also, if you do it and he laughs, that doesn't make him evil, it just makes him a jerk." Pause. "So no exorcisms. Got it?"

Baby Chris made a happy noise, then threw up on himself.

Chris far-too-casually swiped away the baby puke from his younger self's cheeks and sighed. He was getting way too used to this.

Wyatt very nearly got up to go look for Piper, but Chris grabbed onto the back of his overalls before he could get away and turned the kid around. "Oh, and I wouldn't date Stephanie Costas in tenth grade if I were you. She's kind of a soul-sucking demon for the underworld. I mean, not literally ... that was Liz Moon and she was really nice about the soul-sucking thing ... well, up until she tried to eat the debate team, but she got vanquished so, you know ..."

Sniffling, Wyatt said, "Okay," then grinned at him and headed off to find his mommy.

The baby cooed, and Chris looked down at the kid, frowning at both the fact that he'd been there long enough to recognize the look on the baby's face and, unfortunately, what that look meant. "I don't suppose I can just transfer potty-training knowledge to you, since you're me and all?"

An annoyingly familiar scent filled the air, and Chris grimaced. "Yeah, didn't think so."

*snorts*

Date: 2004-02-25 05:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] illmantrim.livejournal.com
*falls over laughing*

A very well written and thoughtful fic... a missing scene from the future that sounds like it would fit right in. and ya got the Chris Dude right exactly.
thank you

Date: 2004-02-25 08:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] budclare.livejournal.com
"Also, if you do it and he laughs, that doesn't make him evil, it just makes him a jerk."

:)

In fact, :) in general. There's a lot of :)ing going on right now.

Date: 2004-02-25 09:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] juanitadark.livejournal.com
"Oh, and I wouldn't date Stephanie Costas in tenth grade if I were you. She's kind of a soul-sucking demon for the underworld. I mean, not literally ... that was Liz Moon and she was really nice about the soul-sucking thing ... well, up until she tried to eat the debate team, but she got vanquished so, you know ..."

Excellent! Me likes very much :)

May I archive?

Date: 2004-02-25 04:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apocalypsos.livejournal.com
Ooo, cool. Go right on ahead. And thanks! :)

Date: 2004-02-26 12:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] juanitadark.livejournal.com
Thank you! It's archived at Charmed Drabble, specifically this page (http://www.zero-consequences.net/mad-destiny/charmed_drabble/links/vignettes/babytalk.html).

Date: 2004-02-25 06:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muffytaj.livejournal.com
:) I don't even watch Charmed anymore, and I still like it!

Date: 2004-02-25 08:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dragonsinger.livejournal.com
*ROTFLOL* What a fantastic story! I could almost hear Chris saying those things to himself. Excellent characterization.

Now I wanna know all about the high school demons.:D

Date: 2004-02-25 08:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apocalypsos.livejournal.com
*squeals* You have the "YES!" shirt in your icon! *bounces*

Date: 2004-02-25 09:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dragonsinger.livejournal.com
Of course. :) *Pets the pretty Chris* Ain't he just adorable?:D

Date: 2004-02-28 01:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crimsonsnitch.livejournal.com
that is so cute!

Date: 2005-12-31 01:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leni-ba.livejournal.com
Awwww... You're amazing. And once I recover my abilities for cohere speech after I read 'Something Biblical', I'll comment on that piece of heavenly amazement, too.

But, for this story. *squeezes it* Cute!!!!

Date: 2006-04-17 01:41 pm (UTC)
mellaithwen: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mellaithwen
Chris didn't die! And baby Chris is getting attention even if it is from himself but still! :D

Date: 2006-06-01 06:51 pm (UTC)
tigriswolf: (Default)
From: [personal profile] tigriswolf
Oh my god, that's adorable!

Date: 2006-06-09 08:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gemsong.livejournal.com
Just found this. Been watching Charmed for years.

Gads, I could hear Chris' voice in my head

This was hysterical. You rule ;)

Date: 2006-08-08 01:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lunalupine.livejournal.com
This is, in layman's terms, genius. I could see it all in my head, and truly wish the show had done something like this.

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