Random thought to end the night ...

[apocalypsos]

You know what I once stumbled onto one night when I was in college? Dolphin porn ... well, sorta. See, what happened was, there was this story about this female guard at Sea World who got into the dolphin tank one night, and you know how it is. Dolphins are all about the frisky sex stuff.

And now you'll never be able to separate that jumping-through-hoops schtick with disturbing sexual innuendo. Just remember my name when you're chatting up the psychiatrist.

So, anyway, Sea World guard/dolphin luuuuuuv. Which, of course, ewwwwwwwwww. The worst part is, it comes with an unrequested soundtrack. Listen.

"*moans* Oh, Flipper ..."

*hyper dolphin cackle*

See? My birthday present to you all is that you all reach my level of insanity.

You're welcome, by the way. And no, you can't trade it for a pony.

Comments

[tocomfortyou.livejournal.com]

You are so fucking fun. *adores from far, far away*

[ampersand.livejournal.com]

*cackles till her eyes water*

I'm going to point my friends list over here, because I like to share when I acquire a new permanent mental scar.

[thornsilver]

I have actually read a pro SF story from the POV of the dolphin, who fell in love with his trainer and tried to seduce her. He thought she was very ugly, btw, with all that hair, and the legs, and not being able to hold her breath long under water, but he wanted her anyway.

I thought it was disturbing then too.

Re: Random thought to end the night ...

[artemis-child.livejournal.com]

You owe me a new keyboard FYI I just spewed my drink all over from laughing so hard ~_^

Re: Random thought to end the night ...

[thornsilver]

I have long ago stopped eating or drinking anything when reading LJ. Thus, the knowledge is passed on.

Tee-hee! :P

[stimpson.livejournal.com]

All I have to say is: Dolphin Sex. (http://www.dolphinsex.org/)

Yep.

Don't look at me like that.

[artemis-child.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's evil. I think I may have gone blind from even briefly imagining that scene *snerk*

[tenebris.livejournal.com]

What, no one's ever read Startide Rising?

All about the dolphin luv, yeaah!

happy belated birthday!

[sabotabby]

I recently read an article about all the reasons you shouldn't have sex with a dolphin. It was very enlightening and educational. Did you know that a dolphin ejaculates with a force equivalent to a shotgun blast? Ohh...and male bottle nose dolphins travel in packs, gang-rape other types of dolphins (sometimes to death) and then kill the babies.

The article ended with this gem of wisdom:

Don't trust anything that smiles all the time.