My mother is a VERY BAD woman who should never be encouraged.

[apocalypsos]

So we're killing time while my mom's Mini Cooper is being serviced (which was the main reason we went down there, not just for the zoo). We went to breakfast at a cute little deli where I found out I like lox (mmm!), and after that we start walking around the very nice neighborhood taking in all of the expensive stone houses and lamenting the fact that neither one of us could afford them.

Mom: I tried to shit a gold brick, but no luck so far.
Me: I don't even want to know what you would eat to think that would happen.
Mom: Fourteen carrots.
Me: *dies a little inside*

GROAN.

Also to follow, the impressively brain-breaking statement, "I'm so friggin' witty sometimes it's not even funny."

Oh, and dear Pennsylvania, thank you for making helmets legally optional for motorcycle riders to wear. I think it's interesting that you've come up with the perfect way to eliminate a good number of people who are too stupid to live.

Comments

[corruptedjasper.livejournal.com]

Plus, organ donations should go up significantly!

Those things ain't colloquially known as Donorcycles for nothing, after all.