Another sentence I never expected my mother to say ...

[apocalypsos]

"I need help with my elephant."

She called me before because she's making big papier-mache animals for the parade float and claimed she couldn't bend over. And then she told me she accidentally broke the tip of the kitten's tail in a door. And then she grossed the crap out of me by managing to mention penises three times in a ten minute span, including an elephant's, the cat's, and my brother's when he was a baby.

One thing that always amazes me after going to my parents's house is that I never needed therapy. GYAH. *scrubs eyeballs with bleach*

I'm also trying to get my mom hooked on Project Runway. She's the artistic type, so I'm thinking maybe I can hook her with that. *crosses fingers*

Comments

[milkshake-b.livejournal.com]

I introduced a friend to it. She watched the pageant show and then asked if the designs were always so badly done--"One of them didn't even look ironed!"

I struggled for a minute to try and explain modern high fashion, where sometimes really wrinkled and badly-done clothes are the cutting edge, and sometimes they're just bad, and I'm never entirely sure I'm able to tell the difference between which is which.

Eventually I just went, "Um, well, it's early in the series."

[sweill.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO.
I guess we parents are always saying weird shit. But it's usually our kids' fault...

The top 3 "Words I Never Imagined Would Come Out of My Mouth in the Same Sentence"

"Get your mouth off the doorknob"
"Don't sit on the cat"
"Take your foot out of the toilet"

-sigh-

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

"I need help with my elephant."

That has to be one of the best opening lines of all time. Can I steal it? Please?

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Heh. Yeah, sure, go right ahead. :)