(no subject)

[apocalypsos]

You know what I think we need this weekend?


One day a twelve year old walks into a house of ill-repute dragging a
dead frog on a string behind him. He slaps a hundred dollar bill on the
counter and says, "I want one of your women."

The madam looks at him and says "Don't you think you're a bit young for
that?"

He slaps another hundred on the counter and says "I want one of your
women."

The madam says "Okay, have a seat. She'll be down in about thirty
minutes."

He slaps another hundred on the counter and says "She has to have active
herpes."

The madam starts to sputter and ask why, but he slaps another hundred on
the counter and says "Active herpes."

She responds, "Okay, have a seat. It'll be about five minutes." Two
minutes later, a woman comes out. They go upstairs (the boy still dragging
his dead frog) and do their deal.

As he's leaving, the madam asks him, "Okay, I have to know. Why did you want someone with active herpes?"

The twelve year old replies, "When I get home, I'm going to sleep with
the baby-sitter, and when mom and dad get home, dad will take the
baby-sitter to her home and sleep with her on the way. Then, when he
gets back, he and mom are going to go upstairs and do it. And tomorrow
morning after dad goes to work, the milkman will come in and mom will
sleep with him, and he's the bastard that ran over my frog."


Okay, your turn. :)

Comments

My contribution

[frogmajick.livejournal.com]

This is one of my favorites...

A man walks into a public bathroom and begins using one of the urinals. He looks to his left and sees a very short man peeing also. Suddenly, the short man looks up at the taller man, and the taller man is completely embarrassed about staring at the smaller man's penis.

"Sorry," says the taller man."I'm not gay or anything, but you have the longest penis I've ever seen, especially on a man so small!"

"Well," says the Leprechaun, "That's because I'm a Leprechaun! ALL Leprechauns have penises this size!" The taller man says, "Incredible! I'd give anything if mine were that long."

"Well, what with me being a Leprechaun and all, I can give you your wish! If you let me take you into that stall over there and screw you, I'll give you your wish!"

"Gee," says the man, "I don't know about that----aw hell with it, OK!"

Soon, the Leprechaun is behind the taller man, just humping away.

"Say," says the Leprechaun, "How old are you, son?"

Finding it difficult to turn with the Leprechaun humping him so ferociously, the tall man says over his shoulder, "Uh-Uh, Thirty-two..."

"Imaging that, " says the little man, "Thirty-two and still believes in Leprechauns!"