I'll tell you right now ...

[apocalypsos]

... if I can get my grubby little paws on this, I'm recapping it right after I'm done with Pulse.

"Oh, no! My teenage son is hooked on porn! Except it's on the Internet, so it's bad!"

Did I ever mention that my mom once found a bunch of old Playboys and Playgirls from the seventies in the attic and gave them to me and my brother? We couldn't decide what was worse, the ginormous mustaches on the guys or the Vaseline slathered on the lenses for the chicks. Also, there was Farrah hair. And not always on people's heads.

Oh, oh! Also, thanks to not having access to the cable stations, I couldn't mock the movie that was showing on Cinemax before -- The Witches of Breastwick.

... gee, you'd think I needed to get laid or something.

Comments

[pie-is-good.livejournal.com]

Cyber Seduction is, quite possibly, the best thing I have ever watched. It is terrible. So terrible. My favorite part is when he gets into the 'weird stuff'...it's like women in leather catsuits. They aren't even naked. And his friend that got him into the porn is all like WHOA YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR MAN.

It is brilliantly bad.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I found a torrent! \o/

I find it hilarious, especially considering the subtitle is "His Secret Life," because a.) he's a teenage boy looking at porn, it's not that surprising, and b.) unless he's clearing out his cache and history every damn night, which I doubt, it's not that damn secretive either.

I'm going to love this movie. And I wonder if it's bad, me downloading this movie AND porn at the same time. I'm probably evil and need decades of counseling or something. :)

[pie-is-good.livejournal.com]

Oh, you need to go to church! At least, I think that's what the movie said.

It's just so much funnier once you see it. The movie is beyond ridiculous. I mean, the porn he looks at. Hahahaha. Network television has pornier moments.

"What, like Virgin Vaginas is a new band?" *snicker* Best movie ever. I should download it.

SA wrote about it once.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Oh, you need to go to church! At least, I think that's what the movie said.

*chokesplorfles*

Torrent, download faster, damn it! *shakes internet*

[pie-is-good.livejournal.com]

I just found it on youtube. And I am totally watching it. I should be writing one of the four thousand ficathon assignments I have, but that's what tomorrow's for. >.>

Yeah, the torrent cannot download fast enough. I love bad Lifetime movies, but this one is by far the best.

I've seen it twice, though, and I'm still trying to work out how porn interferes with your ability to swim in the state meet. I guess if you get an embarrassing erection while wearing a Speedo, you might not want to swim. But I have a feeling porn would help prevent that from happening as often...

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Is it catsuits as in 'ears and a tail'? Because dear god I hope so for the funny aspects. See icon.

[celestialfairi.livejournal.com]

"...according to a recent survey, 90% of eight- to 16-year-olds with Internet access have viewed porn online, mostly while doing homework."

Parents actually BUY that?

And in other news, I was just looking at my friends page and you have posted so often that I had to double-check the web address to make sure I was still on my friend's page and not at your LJ.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Parents actually BUY that?

Mine didn't. Then again, my parents weren't stupid. Of course, they didn't care as long as neither one of us caught anything, so WINNERS. :)

[celestialfairi.livejournal.com]

I've never heard of that movie, but it looks hilarious. I can't really afford to buy another movie though... I just spent my last reserves of "spare" money on Planet Earth and Venture Bros Season 2.

[laci-loo.livejournal.com]

Re: The Witches of Breastwick

My friends were totally talking about that in our chatroom LOL

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I was seriously debating going up to my parents' house in the middle of the night just to watch it on their big-screen TV. If not for the lack of Internet connection in the game room I'd be there right now, probably still laughing my ass off. :)

[catystorm.livejournal.com]

Oh my god The Witches of Breastwick was on HBO a week or two ago. I turned it on in the middle and was like "...what the fuck is this? Why are there boobs on my TV?" I couldn't figure out what was going on for a good ten minutes. I was just like "softcore porn! On my TV, not my computer! WHAT SORCERERY IS THIS?!"

[jira-rd.livejournal.com]

Oh god, that movie is so bad.

:D :D I love cheesy nekkid photos.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Bill Engvall Show.

Ugly Father: "Son, what's in your drawer? Please tell me it's not drugs."
Son: "It's a Playboy."
Ugly Father: "Oh, thank god."

I loll'ed.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Oh, I almost forgot. I had some 70s playboys once...the women were not stick figure clones of each other. Had actual meat. Cuh-razy.

[kelex.livejournal.com]

What I find even more hysterical? The kid, Jeremy Sumpter?

Played Peter Pan. In quite possibly the most slashiest version ever, verging on baddirtywrong, because Jason Isaacs was Captain Hook and damn.

[laurelin-kit.livejournal.com]

Oh, that movie is terrifying. It scares me that there are people out there who think that way.

[mona1347.livejournal.com]

Omg, and the cyberporn addict is Jeremy Sumpter too! Who I totally perved over, completely against my will, when he was Peter Pan. *facepalms*