... wait, SERIOUSLY?

[apocalypsos]

Katie Holmes is the new Audrey Hepburn, according to actress Diane Keaton. The Annie Hall star will appear alongside Tom Cruise's wife in 2008 movie Mad Money, and she insists 29-year-old Holmes has the grace and charisma to become the world's next great humanitarian icon. Keaton tells Parade.com, "It's just so beautiful to watch a girl become a young woman. I tell you, I think it's a miracle. I remember how I was at that age and how my obsession was to be Audrey Hepburn, my idol. "Now Katie has the candle. She's more adventurous than I am. Being the wife of Tom Cruise, she's been thrown into a world you can't really be prepared for, yet Katie handles it with grace. "Like Audrey Hepburn, she's like celebrity royalty. She has a calm center in the storm of whatever is going on around her."

You're seriously going to compare Katie Holmes to Audrey fucking Hepburn?

There is just so much about that paragraph that makes my skin crawl I just ... I can't even ... *gags*

Comments

[elohvee.livejournal.com]

Ew. And I used to like Diane Keaton.

[girl-wonder.livejournal.com]

Ewww. No. I reject that.

[robyn-ma.livejournal.com]

Sounds like Tom wrote it.

I would seriously wonder if Keaton has any movies pitched to United Artists, the studio Cruise co-owns now.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I know, right? I just ... NO. Until Katie Holmes becomes a trained ballet dancer, a international humanitarian, one of the greatest actresses and fashion icons of all time, and .. oh, yes, DESCENDED FROM ACTUAL FUCKING ROYALTY, then maybe she can be compared to Audrey Hepburn. Maybe.

[realpestilence.livejournal.com]

And, not least of all, a sweet person. She was "the Princess" for a *reason*. This comment makes me wonder if Keaton even knows who Audrey was!

[jellicle.livejournal.com]

This is just WRONG!

[dorothy1901]

Wow, Parade, you're really believable when you report stuff like this. I have absolutely no doubt that you've accurately quoted Ms. Keaton. </sarcasm>

[jacinthsong.livejournal.com]

has the grace and charisma to become the world's next great humanitarian icon
Has she actually done anything good for other people? I hear that helps too.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Well, she helped Tom's supposed heterosexuality career. Or so I hear.

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

Ms. Keaton and Parade,

I reject your reality and substitute my own.

[okelay.livejournal.com]

are you serious? is DK serious?? KATIE HOLMES =/= AUDREY HEPBURN
they're not even in the same..planet!!!
come on!!

[strippedpink.livejournal.com]

....THEY BOTH HAVE GOOD HAIR??

I dunno, I got nothing.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

And even that's debatable. (I mean, Katie Holmes's new haircut is very cute, no matter whether or not I think she herself is a brainwashed beard, but I've seen photos where she looks AMAZING in it and photos where she looks like a forty-five-year-old martini-swilling matron in it.)

[batgurl10.livejournal.com]

Katie holmes cannot act her way out of a paper sack!!!! The only bad thing about the first last batman movie was HER! :-(

[gamiila.livejournal.com]

Pfffft. Total twaddle.

[okelle.livejournal.com]

Yeah, whatever. To paraphrase another person laying the smackdown on specious comparisons:

"I knew Audrey Hepburn. And you, sir, are no Audrey Hepburn."

[metron-ariston.livejournal.com]

Her calm center is her dead soul!! (Or at least: Her terrified into submission soul!!!!!1!12)

[beck-liz.livejournal.com]

... AUDREY HEPBURN??? What is Diane smoking? Please.

[spyderqueen.livejournal.com]

OMG my brain hurts.

[faith21.livejournal.com]

I love Diane Keaton, between the Godfather and Manhattan, she's talented and kooky.

But you also have to realize, she's KOOKY.

[paradisacorbasi.livejournal.com]

Wow. And they said Hunter S. Thompson was on the good drugs.

Katie Holmes is the new Audrey Hepburn? NOT.

[tully-argyle.livejournal.com]

There is just so much about that paragraph that makes my skin crawl I just ... I can't even ... *gags*

yes, well, consider the source.

Or maybe Don't. I haven't considered Diane Keaton in years.

I feel good about that.

[tully-argyle.livejournal.com]

I think the other day I heard someone say the Audrey Hepburn comment about Anne Hathaway.

That one, I don't agree with, either. But it's less gag-worthy.

[l-vera01.livejournal.com]

Oh diane. have you been sniffing the scientology fumes coming out of Katie's ass? Bleh.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Especally creepy when one knows about Scientology.

[revenantrose.livejournal.com]

Why does anyone have to be the new Audrey Hepburn? We had Audrey Hepburn. And she was fantastic. We don't need another one just because she's gone.

[teenygozer.livejournal.com]

Hepburn was a freedom-fighter during WW2. She didn't shoot a gun, but she carried messages that, if she'd been caught with by the Nazis, would have meant her death... AFTER being tortured. She had guts.