A nonspoilery Top Chef comment.

[apocalypsos]

Spike is a douchenozzle.

I consider this a non-spoiler because Spike is ALWAYS a douchenozzle.

I do love that in screwing everybody else over -- and ... "It's not personal"? Bullshit -- he's screwed himself over. Seriously, could his meal sound a little more boring and run-of-the-mill with those ingredients? Everybody's going to be bringing these interesting fun meals and there's Spike with his bread, lettuce, chicken and tomatoes.

Comments

[bunnymcfoo.livejournal.com]

damn, it's a shame i find him so pretty. SERIOUSLY. WHY do i always end up finding the douchebags to be the preeeeetty ones?

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Well, you have to admit, we haven't exactly had a well of male beauty to work with this season. I thought Mark was cute but he lost me with that whole "I think Tom doesn't like me" thing -- no, sweetheart, you cooked badly.

And then there was Ryan, which ... ugh. He's so that guy I haaaate at bars.

[bunnymcfoo.livejournal.com]

dude. like, okay, the first thing I thought when I saw Spike was that he looked a little bit like Chad Michael Murray, and I was a fucking goner. AND THEN HE PROVE TO BE A DOUCHE. I just. *hands*


my bad taste in men, let me show you it.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahaha. God, listen to him bullshit the judges. Colicchio's gonna bop him on the head with his manicured yet meaty fist.

OMIGOD I HATE ALL THREE OF THESE PEOPLE. *headdesk* Can they all go home? Pretty pleeeeeease?

[bunnymcfoo.livejournal.com]

heee. i'll see the episode when it gets up on youtube, but dude. who's on the chopping block? *big eyes*

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Andrew, Lisa, and Spike. And oh, it gets nasty.

[bunnymcfoo.livejournal.com]

AWESOME. dude, Andrew, GO HOME.

[vorpalblades.livejournal.com]

It really was a freaking bloodbath up on that block.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, nobody came out of that one looking pretty, that's for damn sure.

[florahart]

Okay, seriously, on roughly four minutes of consideration, I thought that bread was a LOUSY choice because in a box lunch thing, it's probably soggy anyway (I mean, by the time it was really produced as a box lunch). He could have screwed everyone a lot harder by picking rice, I think. Or maybe something very general like "pasta". I mean, I imagine retroactively, Lisa would have been happier with rice off the table, but still, seriously, in this contest, even though they were all thinking of sandwichy things, it would have been like the corn dogs all over again.

And then the rest of his choices!

Lettuce? Look, pick something that makes it hard to manage flavor. Onion, for instance? Garlic? I was going to say peppers, but...

Tomato? Come on. A pepper is also technically a fruit for the same reason a tomato is. And if "lettuce" knocked out all lettuce, then I assume "pepper" would, too.

Chicken.... eh, on that one, six of one, half a dozen of the other. Not really all that big a deal; there were lots of fine choices.

So. If his plan was to screw people, and he basically said it was, then he did a seriously craptastic job of it. If he'd picked rice, peppers, onions-or-garlic, and (whatever meat), I think ummmmm everyone else but Andrew would have had problems. I mean, yeah, they all could have made onionless burgers or something, but I think Dale, Stephanie, Lisa, ...maybe not Richard or Antonia Anyway. Dale tends to do spicy and yes there are other spicy things, but peppers tend to play in his stuff. Onions are generally at the ...root (sorry) of soups and stews and a lot of sauces. There are onions and/or peppers in stir fries, pasta sauces, beef dishes, shrimp, chicken, turkey...

So, anyway. Yes. Douchenozzle and not a very bright one.

Also, Andrew could not possibly have been more arrogant OMG. He KNOWS about the nutrition, don'tcha know. I had sort of thought of him as dorky but not really offensive, but damn.

Also also, I want to know if Lisa's stuff really did get fucked with. Hi, there's a camera crew Right There. Because really, I think it would be kind of really funny if they had film and showed her herself fucking it up, since she was so completely unwilling to accept there was any chance.

...Apparently I have thought about this way too much.