Guess whose history of depression may be current events again?

[apocalypsos]

'Cause, see, I've already felt weird lately but I was just attributing it to being tired from overworking myself at my job. But then came tonight.

1. Ran out of the house later than usual.
2. Either had to get McDonald's or starve tonight, so stopped for chicken Mcnuggets which took FOREVER.
3. Went too fast on the highway; got a speeding ticket. (And a ticket for not wearing my seatbelt, and a warning because all of my paperwork had something wrong with it.)
4. Burst into tears because I'm going to have to use money from my laptop fund. (This is not like the last time I got a ticket and burst into tears. Part of the reason I think I've worked myself into another case of depression is because I don't NEED the laptop and for once I've got the money to pay the fine, so normal me would just be grateful I've got the cash to pay for it and going, "Oh, for fuck's sake, I'm a moron.")
5. Stressed myself into a migraine and left work early.
6. Burst into tears AGAIN on the way home because "Birdhouse in Your Soul" came on the radio and that song makes me happy. So I cried. Yeah, I don't know.
7. Splurged on a six-pack of Smirnoff. Yes, I know.

So, yeah. I think a doctor's visit may be in order.

(Is it bad that I know precisely when I'm getting depression again? It's like it's right next to the bell in my brain that rings when I know I just got my period. And this is definitely not THAT particular alarm.)

Comments

[clex_monkie89.livejournal.com]

*Hugs*

[sabra-n.livejournal.com]

Is it bad that I know precisely when I'm getting depression again?

Better than realizing in puzzlement a few weeks in that maybe something's wrong when you never, ever want to leave your bed anymore. *hugs*

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Ain't that the truth. *sigh*

*hugs back*

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

Is it bad to know that?

No. Knowing when it's happening means that you're able to take steps about it before it's too much of a disaster to handle and you get further down the spiral.

[sweill.livejournal.com]

:::hugs:::
It's GOOD to know what is your 'normal' and what isn't.

I kind of knew when 'it' was coming and the analogy I used made my shrink laugh and made other people think I had multiple-personality disorder on top of everything else...

[marag.livejournal.com]

::hugs:: As others have noted, it's good that you know. Of course, it sucks beyond the telling to actually *have* depression, but that's another matter. But I've found that the self-awareness makes recovery go faster.

[tenebris.livejournal.com]

*HUGS*

We've all said it, but yes, it's good to know that you're heading for depression. 'Cause then you can either counter it or wallow in it without too much angst.

Figuring out you've BEEN depressed may make everything make sense, but it sometimes makes things in the now worse. So knowing you're going into it is a good thing!

[fufaraw]

Adding my voice to the chorus, much better recognizing it now than later. Less far to have to climb out.

...and you're in such good company! Kidding. Mostly.

I'm glad you're on this, because any time is too much to surrender to depression, especially when you recognize that's what's going on.

[fyrdrakken]

Speeding tickets and car repairs: The two categories of unexpected expense most responsible for attacking my budget right when I had something else I really wanted to drop a few hundred on. Yeowch.

And adding my own voice to the chorus that it sucks to be entering a depressive episode but I'm glad you can at least spot them going in rather than only noticing when you're bogged down in the middle.