(no subject)

So digitalodyssey and I got totally freaking bored last night at work, and started doing this Pavlov's dog test to see what certain mental images would do to my fragile little mind. For example, "Hugh Jackman reading out of the dictionary" made me sigh happily, while "Peter Wingfield reading out of the phone book" made me go pleasantly numb from the waist down.

It was all fun and games until "Peter Wingfield and Hugh Jackman reading aloud from the phone book while Orlando Bloom does color commentary" made me get stuck in my chair for a half an hour. I'm just lucky those suckers have wheels on the bottom.

Oh, and "Same as the last mental image, but everybody's naked" sent me in a three-hour long coma with a big dopey grin on my face. I don't really remember what happened when I was passed out, but I can safely say that I've got all of the phone numbers in Northeastern Pennsylvania memorized up to Miller, Marion and I'm waaaaay too happy about that.

(no subject)

Okay, that's it! Seeing as how there's certain things I do every time there's a huge Powerball jackpot and I never, ever win, this time I'm going to stop doing those things and see if maybe that helps any.

For example, no more imagining buying that mustard yellow Porsche Boxster I drive past every day at the dealership and swearing I'll buy it when I win so that no one will ever drive that godawful monstrosity on the roads. No more seeing about how much it'll cost to have Jennifer Lopez's career declared a national disaster area. No more planning on establishing a new country and calling it "We're not with the terrorists, but we're not with you either, Dubya, you giant asshat!"

And for God's sake, no more mentally breaking down the day-to-day cost of keeping Orlando Bloom in blond extensions and elf costumes when I buy him on the black market, damn it!