(no subject)

Okay, that's it. Staring all night at names that are much cooler than mine has driven me to the breaking point. So I'm officially declaring today "Replace Your Sucky, Boring Name With a Silly Mary Sue-esque Name" Day.

As such, for the rest of the day, I will only be answering to Contessa Wilhelmina Ravyn Angelika Blossom Ameliana Leandrina Greenleaf Sparrow Connor Pierson Drake Jackman. (I was actually going to stick with just the one married name, but after examining my list of fandoms, I spent a long minute and a half trying to pick one and finally just said, "Fuck it, I'm starting a harem.")

Oh, and congratulations to Bush, who according to the news has officially given us the worst budget deficit ever. I'd say something snarky right now, but I got a letter yesterday stating that the government had started a new policy to make all that money back and now they're charging people fifty bucks a pop to make fun of the President.

I've got to give them credit. At fifty bucks an insult, they'll make that back in no time.

Ugh. Am definitely in need of some quality shut-eye. Now, leave me, you peons! The Contessa needs her beauty rest!

*snuggles her perfect pillow*

(no subject)

I was just in IM with tree220 a little while ago when I said, "You know how Spike is supposed to be recurring on Angel next season?" You know, when I put that way, I get the weird feeling I'm going to find out later on that I started a wicked, wicked slash rumor or something.

So if anyone opens up their friends list later on and sees, "Dude, did you hear? Spike's going to be recurring on Angel every freaking episode next year! All Spike, all Angel, all recurring ... all the time! You've never seen this much recurring, dude!" ... I'm so sorry. My bad.

There will be absolutely no recurring next season on the TV show ... except for, you know, the actual recurring, not the smarmy euphemistic recurring that'd require a later time slot.

(no subject)

Spongebob Squarepants porn? The Transformers looking up dirty freaking websites? Really horribly godawfully written Mina/Dorian smut?! Wow. I didn't know it was possible for my eyes to shoots out streams of blood and burst into flames at the same time. Finally, a party trick that kicks the ass of that beyond-lame cherry-stem-tying gag! Woohoo!

P.S. Please, no one ever let me near Adultfanfiction.net again. EVER. I beg you.

You know how I threatened to write T3 slash?

Hey, sit back down! I didn't actually do it, okay? I doubled my medication today, so I don't think visions of John/Terminator slash will be dancing in my head anytime soon. (I believe the phrase I'm looking for is, "Thank fucking God.")

But I did write this. It's short, and it's more than a drabble, but my brain would probably have a major synapse spurt if you told it it had to keep itself to a definitive word count.

Anyway, here 'tis. Spoilers for T3, so I'd hold off on reading it if you didn't see the movie. (Disclaimer: I own nussing, I pay nussing, I get nussing.)

( Nightmares )

(no subject)

See, everybody? Masturbation is your friend. *nods solemnly*

It does make me wonder what the benefits of masturbating is for chicks, though. Wouldn't it funny if it were something cool, like getting super powers? That'd so rawk!

Guy: "I jacked off three times today, so I lowered my risk of prostate cancer!"
Girl: "Oh, yeah? Well, I jacked off ten times today, so now I can read minds, teleport, fly, jump buildings in a single bound, outrun trains, shoot lasers out of my eyes ..."