(no subject)

Pet peeve ... people who had to have heard my loud and obnoxious alarm go off and pound on my door if I don't immediately leap out of bed.

Dude, I'm up. Trust me. Even if I'm not up, I'm still up. When my alarm clock goes off, a tiny, tiny man climbs out of my alarm clock, whacks me upside the head with a two-by-four, and screams, "GET UP! WAKE UP, YOU FREAKY GIDGET IMITATOR! GET UP, GET UP, GET UP!"

Which is why I always hit the snooze button. Because the snooze button is a very small, starving lion which climbs out of my alarm clock and EATS him.

(no subject)

I think I'm going to invent a Pop-Up Mallet. My laptop might not survive, but it'll certainly convey the limitless depths of my hatred.