(no subject)

So I went and did tourist thingies today, which involved going to the National Museum of Natural History and pretending I hadn't ever been there before. This is always fun, since that way, I can do that awe-filled "Wow! I never knew that!" reaction thing. And let's face it ... that utterly cool feeling of wonder and child-like amazement completely offset the squirming I kept having to do because I was stupid enough to wear my crotch-rider Old Navy corduroy flares today. Yeah, smooth move, asshat.

Anyway, the museum. I really need to do more museum-type stuff, because every time I go, I wish I had a little kid just so I could teach them all sorts of new and interesting things. Of course, it'd have to be my kid, because I'm pretty sure I'd so totally make shit up if it wasn't my kid. "Oh, what's that a skeleton of? Ummm ... Wacko Warner. Yeah, that's why you only see reruns of the Animaniacs anymore. Dot and Yacko got seriously pissed at him one day, skinned him, ate him, and sold the leftovers to the Smithsonian." By the way, I'm available for babysitting on the weekends.

There were the usual asshats, of course. One woman totally got on my nerves, and I presume her daughter's as well, in the insect zoo. I was looking at the black widow spider when the woman and her little girl walk up, and I hear this ...

Woman: (pointing) See that little red dot on its stomach? (starts to walk away)
Daughter: Mom, what is that?
Woman: It's a black widow spider. C'mon --
Daughter: How do you know that?
Woman: It says so on the glass.
Daughter: (rolls her eyes) Yes, I know that, Mom, but how do you know that if you see one in real life?

Jesus, woman, take five seconds and teach your fucking kid something. I had to restrain myself from explaining it to her. (Which I so should have done. Heck, I helped out a kid in the dinosaur exhibit. It turns out that I can still say "pachycephelasaurus" without missing a beat.)

I picked myself up a cute little shirt with a koala on it, and then I got qnotku a coloring book with Japanese geishas which caught my eye for being Of The Pretty. Oh, and you know those lollipops with the crickets in 'em? I got one each for qnotku, hundakleptisis, and tree220, who left hers on the dining room table.

You know, I'd go get it, but somewhere between the cricket frozen forever in a rectangular block of grape lollipop and our cockroach problems, I'm just a little afraid I'm going to go out there and find the cricket quivering in the lap of a cockroach dressed like an itty bitty intergalactic bounty hunter.

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This entry absolutely killed me, mostly because it reminds me of ( a story of my Himalayan, Oliver. )

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In other news, new QE on Tuesday! Which meant there was a QE marathon today and I missed all of it save for bits of the George episode. Aw, nuts.

"Do you know why they call it a mock neck? Because people make fun of you when you wear it."

*snerk*

Meme jacked from opaleyes, although I know others on ye olde frie

"I want you to post anything that you want in reply to this entry.

"Anything.

"A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love, an opinion, a critique - anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like.

"Then, put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say.

"This can be about me, or anything you want. I'm always curious about what others honestly think of me. I like to know how I come across to people...
Regardless, just use the "anonymous" radio button to post anonymously. You can reveal who you are if you want. I turned off the "log IP" option for this, temporarily. I'm really open minded. Post what you'd like. And if you post nothing.. hey, that's all good too, I don't mind :}"

It's not half as much fun without the artwork, but still.

Love this book. Must buy it and read it to my children every night when I get some. Children, that is, not creepy morbid bedtime stories.

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs,
B is for Basil assaulted by bears.
C is for Clair who wasted away,
D is for Desmond thrown out of the sleigh.
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach,
F is for Fanny, sucked dry by a leech.
G is for George, smothered under a rug,
H is for Hector, done in by a thug.
I is for Ida who drowned in the lake,
J is for James who took lye, by mistake.
K is for Kate who was struck with an axe,
L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.
M is for Maud who was swept out to sea,
N is for Nevil who died of ennui.
O is for Olive, run through with an awl,
P is for Prue, trampled flat in a brawl
Q is for Quinton who sank in a mire,
R is for Rhoda, consumed by a fire.
S is for Susan who perished of fits,
T is for Titas who flew into bits.
U is for Una who slipped down a drain,
V is for Victor, squashed under a train.
W is for Winie, embedded in ice,
X is for Xerxes, devoured by mice.
Y is for Yoric whose head was bashed in,
Z is for Zilla who drank too much gin.

Edward Gorey "The Gashlycrumb Tinies"