Also, there are clowns.

In line to leave work ...

Operator Asshat: Are you coming in tomorrow?
Me: Oh, I can't. I'm running away to join the circus today.
Operator Asshat: *eyeroll*
Me: What? I like the circus. They have ponies!
Jess: I like ponies.
Me: Me too!
Jess: Let's buy one and we can share it.
Me: Okay! You can have the back end.
Jess: *"I walked into that one, didn't I?"-face*

Oh, yeah, and ...

After talking to a couple of guys on the way out the door ...

Jess: Boys are stupid.
Me: Yes, they are.
Jess: But they look really good in bed.
Me: *resists urge to say "I wouldn't know"* Yeah, well, the hot ones definitely look good in bed, especially if they're making out with one another.
Jess: Uh, yeah, NO.
Me: I swear, one of these days I will get you to watch gay porn.
Jess: Not a chance.
Me: Aw, come on. The guys are hot! Ask [our big gay boyfriend]. He's probably got charts and graphs to that effect.
Jess: You are just a big gay man trapped in a woman's body, aren't you?
Me: Well, it'd certainly explain why my two biggest crushes in high school turned out gay, wouldn't it?

I should perhaps not be allowed to feed animals, or something.