You know what someone should write me?

A J2 high school AU where they're about the same age and best friends and hang out all the time because, hey, they're the only two bisexual guys they know, and they both have crushes on one another but they don't want to ruin what they have, and then this one night they get really wasted and have a threesome with this girl in their class before she moves away. And they both sort of drift apart after high school and don't really talk, until one day they find out that Threesome Girl passed away and had a kid and didn't know which one of them was the dad so now they have to raise her together.

Yes, I kinda want a My Two Dads AU. It would make it even more awesome if it were set in the early '90s. Also, if they have the giant car chair.

Hey, at least I didn't suggest the Golden Girls J2 story where they're all old and sharing a house. Although I'm not sure if Jensen would live there, since Jeff would be Sophia, Jared would be Dorothy, Chad would be Blanche, and someone really just needs to start a J2 sitcom AU comm so I can stop trying to figure out who'd be Rose.

If somebody does an Arrested Development AU, Jensen should be George Michael and Jared should be Maeby. And Chad can be Steve Holt. (STEVE HOLT. \o/)

... okay, I'll shut up and go try to finish my damn novel.

EDIT: Never mind. Misha would be Rose.

Forget a button you can push that gives you bacon.

I would give anything right now for a button that makes hot tea magically appear at your computer desk, refills it when you run out, and washes, dries, and puts the cup away when you finish.

We're not really getting pounded with snow today, which is kinda hilarious. Usually if it snows anywhere on the East Coast, we somehow get hit, because we're right in the path of pretty much everything EVER. But from the sounds of things, we're getting LESS snow. It amuses me more than it should that we're looking at maybe three or four inches and are like, "Eh, that's nothing," while meanwhile down in DC you guys are getting a foot of snow and people in charge are, like, swooning onto fainting couches all, "OMG WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE OF SNOWFLAKES YOU GUYS." Dollars to donuts says the entire Obama family can't stop giggling at everybody today and everybody who's been in DC forever is like, "IT'S NOT FUNNY, YOU GUYS. THE SKY GNOMES ARE ATTACKING US WITH ICE SHAVINGS. WHERE IS YOUR FEAR?!"

I didn't get any writing done yesterday and if I don't suddenly acquire the magical tea button I may not get any writing done today. The universe needs to bring me a magical tea button or a monkey butler or a long-suffering but helpful roommate so that I don't have to get up to get drinks when I want to write.

Also, ( spoiler for last night's TAR. )

Oh, for fuck's sake.

I've had a tab open in Firefox for Drastically Redefining Protocol since about ... oh, the day it was posted, and I think half of the reason I haven't gotten anything written since yesterday is that I keep dropping things to go reread parts.

Somebody take the pretty Merlin/Arthur story away from me? Pretty please?

URGH. I only have two chapters to finish, damn it. Why do I make this so freaking hard on myself, honestly? *headdesk*

Okay, if I can at least get this chapter done today and the dialogue for THE VERY LAST CHAPTER OF THIS DAMN THING I HAVE TO WRITE FUCK YEAH, then tomorrow after my dentist appointment I can go to Panera and kill the FUCK out of this damn first draft. Fuck making sure everything's tied up. I'll worry about that when I'm editing the fucker.

I'm telling you guys, when I finish this goddamn thing, you will hear me cheering. Even if I have to post a YouTube video of me celebrating.

... aaaaaand now I'm going to have to do that, aren't I? Heh.

EDIT: I would fail miserably at No Cussing Week, wouldn't I? I'm already crap at Lent. I had booze and chocolate this weekend on purpose. Why stop there, right?

Also, listening to the Party Hits station when you're trying to write a serious scene doesn't work. I don't think the Martini Lounge station is going to be any better. Hmm.

BABY.

Okay, so! Jess and I used to work with this other woman, Sarah, who was fun and loud and profance and TOTALLY clicked with us. We worked together on the same line all the time and had an absolute blast, right up until she got a better-paying job elsewhere and went there. We've still kept in touch with her, though, and see her and her husband every once in a while.

Anyway, for as long as we've known her Sarah's wanted kids. She and her husband were trying FOREVER. She even went in for fertility treatments, but it just didn't work. They finally saw about adoption, and a couple of months ago their daughter, Violet Cora (HOW AWESOME IS THAT NAME?! *hearts*), was born.

And we finally get to meet her tomorrow! I have my dentist appointment and then I have to go to Panera and type my ASS off and then I get rewarded with BAAAAAABY TIIIIIME!

God, I need a kid in the worst way. Heh.

*squeals at top of lungs*

FABIO'S GETTING HIS OWN SHOW!

*bounces around the room happily*

So I should start planning to waste an hour a week doing and offering obscene things to my TV screen, right?

VIVA FABIO, FUCKERS.