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So let's see ...
Jul. 6th, 2009 10:56 amI cleared up the five bajillion files story files cluttering up my desktop and documents folder and put the ones I actually need to work on into one folder titled "Shite What Needs Fixin'":
1. The Books of Boggs, aka The Ten-Book Scranton-Based Snarkfest Nobody But Me And The Agent-Shaped Person Loves, Damn It And Hmph, It's Okay, Sean Boggs, Have A Cookie And Some Porn.
2. Dead Men In Dark Suits, aka The Twilight For Grown-Ups I Started Writing In College Before I Wrote A Bajillion Fanfics And It Reads Like I Started Writing It In College Before I Wrote A Bajillion Fanfics, My God, This Thing Needs To Be Beaten With Sticks, Oh, Sweet Chocolatey Jesus.
3. Heroine Addiction, aka The Great Big Pile of Yeah, Right, A Plus-Sized Bisexual Biracial Ex-Superheroine, WTF Have You Been Smoking, And See, I Told You Fuckers I Hit 50K And Then Crack Like An Egg Under An Elephant.
4. The Hollow Girl, aka I Read Twilight And Made A List Of Shit That Made Me Want To Throw Rotten Vegetables In The General Direction Of Stephenie Meyer's House And Then I Started A Book That Didn't Have Enough Magical Game Shows Or Gay Superhero Scandals So I Wandered Off The First Time Someone Dangled Shiny Keys In My Direction.
5. Moonlight Hall, aka This One Time Someone Made A Moronic Comment On One Of My Fics About No Books Ever Having Been Written In Present Tense EVER EVER EVER So I Said HA! And Promptly Dashed Off Eighty Thousand Words Of Present-Tense College-Dorm-For-Magic-Folks Bullshit Where Every Chapter Is From A Different Character's First-Person POV And Therefore No One Can Ever Read It But Me, KTHXBI.
6. The Grand Prize Winner, aka I Thought Hey, I Like Game Shows And I Like Wizards, Two Great Tastes Taste Great Together, And Then I Wrote The Whole Thing But Admittedly Fucked Up The Ending And Now It Laughs At Me When I Sleep.
7. Blood Red Carpet, aka Oh, Right, I Started Writing A Story About Meryl Streep Fighting Evil Monsters And Never Finished, I Should Probably Do That One Of These Days.
8. Chapter And Curse, aka I Fell In Love With The Kickass Middle-Aged Hardcase From Nearly Departed But Hated The Story And Oh, Hey, I Liked The Little Girl From Up, She Should Grow Up To Fight Monsters, Too, And There Should Also Be A Bookworm/Sidekick Because I Would Like To Apply For That Position, Now I Just Need To Write The Fucker.
... it's possible I need mental help.
1. The Books of Boggs, aka The Ten-Book Scranton-Based Snarkfest Nobody But Me And The Agent-Shaped Person Loves, Damn It And Hmph, It's Okay, Sean Boggs, Have A Cookie And Some Porn.
2. Dead Men In Dark Suits, aka The Twilight For Grown-Ups I Started Writing In College Before I Wrote A Bajillion Fanfics And It Reads Like I Started Writing It In College Before I Wrote A Bajillion Fanfics, My God, This Thing Needs To Be Beaten With Sticks, Oh, Sweet Chocolatey Jesus.
3. Heroine Addiction, aka The Great Big Pile of Yeah, Right, A Plus-Sized Bisexual Biracial Ex-Superheroine, WTF Have You Been Smoking, And See, I Told You Fuckers I Hit 50K And Then Crack Like An Egg Under An Elephant.
4. The Hollow Girl, aka I Read Twilight And Made A List Of Shit That Made Me Want To Throw Rotten Vegetables In The General Direction Of Stephenie Meyer's House And Then I Started A Book That Didn't Have Enough Magical Game Shows Or Gay Superhero Scandals So I Wandered Off The First Time Someone Dangled Shiny Keys In My Direction.
5. Moonlight Hall, aka This One Time Someone Made A Moronic Comment On One Of My Fics About No Books Ever Having Been Written In Present Tense EVER EVER EVER So I Said HA! And Promptly Dashed Off Eighty Thousand Words Of Present-Tense College-Dorm-For-Magic-Folks Bullshit Where Every Chapter Is From A Different Character's First-Person POV And Therefore No One Can Ever Read It But Me, KTHXBI.
6. The Grand Prize Winner, aka I Thought Hey, I Like Game Shows And I Like Wizards, Two Great Tastes Taste Great Together, And Then I Wrote The Whole Thing But Admittedly Fucked Up The Ending And Now It Laughs At Me When I Sleep.
7. Blood Red Carpet, aka Oh, Right, I Started Writing A Story About Meryl Streep Fighting Evil Monsters And Never Finished, I Should Probably Do That One Of These Days.
8. Chapter And Curse, aka I Fell In Love With The Kickass Middle-Aged Hardcase From Nearly Departed But Hated The Story And Oh, Hey, I Liked The Little Girl From Up, She Should Grow Up To Fight Monsters, Too, And There Should Also Be A Bookworm/Sidekick Because I Would Like To Apply For That Position, Now I Just Need To Write The Fucker.
... it's possible I need mental help.
