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Writer's Block: Memo to Myself
Aug. 10th, 2009 11:55 am[Error: unknown template qotd]
Oh, good Lord. *headdesk*
This is such a long list:
1. Look, I know you think you're some hideous troll creature who should be living under a bridge somewhere, but you're not. Really, you're not. You just need to dial back your wardrobe choices a tad, stop borrowing clothes from Mom -- she has very nice clothes, but she's your MOM and they don't work on you -- and for God's sake, just go to a different hairstylist and tell her you want it ridiculously short. And then dye it dark brown or dark red. (I'd suggest a bob but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be able to handle it.) And if anybody at school gives you the stink-eye like they're thinking that you got your hair cut like that because you're a lesbian, or better yet asks straight out (because they're already dropping hints to as much already, aren't they?), just look them straight in the eye and say, "Funny, the stylist forgot to ask me before she cut my hair if I like pussy," and then smile and walk away. Leave the fuckers guessing.
2. Speaking of, jump Tommy now while he still thinks he likes girls. No, I'm not kidding. Yes, your gaydar was correct. Trust me, you'll thank me later.
3. That I'm-never-drinking bullshit has GOT to stop. You're not now nor will you ever be an irresponsible fuckwit when it comes to alcohol. Here, this is a Smirnoff. You will thank me later.
4. Take that year off before college. Put your foot down. You're right, you're not ready, and this will only end badly. It's YOUR life, damn it.
4a. However, if you do go to the same college after that year off and you happen to run into a hotass British exchange student a couple of years into it, stop fucking clamming up and jump his hot ass. Ahem.
5. You're not going to get published for a while -- *cough* -- but keep writing. You'll get there eventually. You'll meet some great people and some not-so-great people and some phenomenal people who'll steer you to a point where you can almost see it on the horizon.
6. Oh, and to go back to that first bit of advice? You know all that sarcastic shit you want to say and yet never actually let yourself say because you think it makes you look like an idiot? Go ahead, say it, you don't.
Oh, good Lord. *headdesk*
This is such a long list:
1. Look, I know you think you're some hideous troll creature who should be living under a bridge somewhere, but you're not. Really, you're not. You just need to dial back your wardrobe choices a tad, stop borrowing clothes from Mom -- she has very nice clothes, but she's your MOM and they don't work on you -- and for God's sake, just go to a different hairstylist and tell her you want it ridiculously short. And then dye it dark brown or dark red. (I'd suggest a bob but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be able to handle it.) And if anybody at school gives you the stink-eye like they're thinking that you got your hair cut like that because you're a lesbian, or better yet asks straight out (because they're already dropping hints to as much already, aren't they?), just look them straight in the eye and say, "Funny, the stylist forgot to ask me before she cut my hair if I like pussy," and then smile and walk away. Leave the fuckers guessing.
2. Speaking of, jump Tommy now while he still thinks he likes girls. No, I'm not kidding. Yes, your gaydar was correct. Trust me, you'll thank me later.
3. That I'm-never-drinking bullshit has GOT to stop. You're not now nor will you ever be an irresponsible fuckwit when it comes to alcohol. Here, this is a Smirnoff. You will thank me later.
4. Take that year off before college. Put your foot down. You're right, you're not ready, and this will only end badly. It's YOUR life, damn it.
4a. However, if you do go to the same college after that year off and you happen to run into a hotass British exchange student a couple of years into it, stop fucking clamming up and jump his hot ass. Ahem.
5. You're not going to get published for a while -- *cough* -- but keep writing. You'll get there eventually. You'll meet some great people and some not-so-great people and some phenomenal people who'll steer you to a point where you can almost see it on the horizon.
6. Oh, and to go back to that first bit of advice? You know all that sarcastic shit you want to say and yet never actually let yourself say because you think it makes you look like an idiot? Go ahead, say it, you don't.
