Okay, so can we at least agree that water is wet and the sky is blue?

[apocalypsos]

Okay, at random, whichever comes to mind first:

-- It took me so long to figure out the twist that wasn't a twist at all I felt embarrassed. Let's put it this way -- the "It's A Disaster!" trailer has a mistake in it, but an easily understandable one. Trust me, you'll understand when you see the movie.

-- The kid playing John Cusack's daughter is so fucking cute. Apparently they're still producing stock out of the same Adorably Big-Eyed Moppet cabbage patch they grew Dakota Fanning in. And now they're putting hats on them!

-- I WANT FIC. I want so much fic I can hardly STAND it. Oh, my God, why didn't I have the foresight to nominate it for Yuletide?! I want to write fic about the actual characters, I want to do crossovers with other fandoms, I want to put my original characters in there ... I'm totally fixated right now.

-- Woody Harrelson is in the movie! He's one of the best things about the movie, and we're talking about a movie where they blow up, squish, or drown six billion people. I didn't know he was in the movie until he was IN THE FUCKING MOVIE.

-- Oh, my God, the Yellowstone caldera blowing up. OH MY GOD. I want to make some crass remark about ruining my panties, except the crass remark in my head goes even further than that and you really, REALLY don't want me to make it. IT WAS SO PRETTY. It's everything I wanted in the caldera represented in film and SO MUCH MORE.

-- You know how ridiculous it is in these movies when these people run away from shit they would never in a million years be able to run away from in real life? Well, here it's like they made a list of all the ridiculous things people have run away from in these stupid movies and crammed them into one. ALL I SEE ARE STARS. Er, I kinda wanted to pet the screen.

-- There was actually action that wasn't in the trailer! There were a couple of sequences that really did not get shown in the trailer, and a few we only got glimpses off have much longer material to work with.

-- Okay, so you know that clip that got released on the internet a while back of John Cusack and his family running away from a damn earthquake in a limo? I laughed my fucking ASS off. And I wasn't the only one. It was so ludicrous it was HILARIOUS. I haven't laughed that hard at a movie in ages. I felt like I was going to sprain something.

-- I can see how they can totally do a TV show set a year after the movie. It lends itself to the setup more than I thought it would, and not because they somehow miraculously manage to save everybody and turn the waters back and earthquakes down to a respectable level by maaaaagiiiiiic. (Author's note: They don't. They don't completely commit to killing everybody off, but ho, boy, do they have fun trying, and succeeding for the most part.)

-- Okay, so they have the world leaders, right? And they have them cast to the way they are now, so you get a fake Angela Merkel (who actually looks fairly enough like her) and a not!Berlusconi who's definitely not him because he's about a third of the size of the guy and somehow makes it through the entire movie without sexually harrassing someone or acting like a douchebag.

-- Morgan Freeman can beat Danny Glover in the Serene Respectable Black President During A Time Of Fictional Film Crisis game with one hand tied behind his back. At least until Tiny Lister shows up.

Can I see it again now? Pleeeeeeaaaaaaase?

Comments

[suaine.livejournal.com]

Aww, it sounds perfect ;)

[bbmarcello.livejournal.com]

See, now I wanna go see it today but it's raining outside! Like mega raining! And it's all cosy indoors so, no, le Cusack will have to wait.

[chris-walsh.livejournal.com]

In the That's Armageddon! spirit of all this, take a gander at Lava Tornado! by Mike "Culture Pulp" Russell. Mike is a sick, sick man, bless him.

P.S. I'm so glad you had a good time.

[chris-walsh.livejournal.com]

Someone else who unapologetically enjoyed 2012.

[theliel.livejournal.com]

I don't know, I think if the TMI is as funny as the rest of the post that it might brighten my root-canal filled day.

also, glad it filled you. with happyness. n stuff.

[bookchan.livejournal.com]

http://io9.com/5392430/research-reveals-that-apocalyptic-stories-changed-dramatically-20-years-ago
Don't know if you've seen this article or not, but it you're on a disaster story kick you might enjoy it.

[spiritof1976.livejournal.com]

It took me so long to figure out the twist that wasn't a twist at all I felt embarrassed. Let's put it this way -- the "It's A Disaster!" trailer has a mistake in it, but an easily understandable one.

Ooooh, I haven't seen the film, but I *think* I might know what the twist is.

Is it that the Yay! Spaceships! are actually Yay! Actual Ships? As in they float on top of the rising waves, thus leading to salvation and a clunky Noah's Ark analogy?

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Damn, you're GOOD. :)

I actually kinda liked that better than spaceships, though, because it made more a lot more sense than, "Oh, we made these futuristic spaceships in only two years!"

I don't know why I'm applauding any part of this movie for attempting to make sense, but still.

[spiritof1976.livejournal.com]

Yay! I got it right!

Did I get it right about the clunky Noah's Ark analogy too?




Nice Paloma-Faith-on-Never-Mind-the-Buzzcocks icon btw

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Well, they don't call them "arks" for nothing. ;)

Really, they do throw you off in the beginning because Woody Harrelson's conspiracy-theorist-radio-DJ character, who's been right about everything else, calls them spaceships so when the other characters call them arks you think, "Oh, in a Wall-E or BSG way," but, no, they're just big boats.

Thanks. I'd never even heard of her before that, but she was so damn adorable I couldn't resist. :D

[spiritof1976.livejournal.com]

She's also a bloody good live act. I saw her perform at Bestival.

[silverhill.livejournal.com]

I loved it! ... But I have to say it has possibly the worst last line ever. (Maybe it's funnier that way, though.)

[kanedax.livejournal.com]

TINY LISTER FOR PRESIDENT!

[spiritof1976.livejournal.com]

Okay, I am now back from seeing it in the cinema. My questions for you.

1. Did you think it was a bit mean to randomly kill off the Russian bimbo girlfriend in the climax, for no apparent reason other than to toss one more onto the already-huge body count?

2. Did you find yourself concocting all kinds of alternative survival scenarios in your head? (How about if they moved lots of people onto Mount Everest? Why not just get all the submarines in the world to head out to sea and ride out the tsunamis? etc)

3. When Random Science Guy announced that Africa may not have flooded, did you get mental images of the entire population of Africa giving the rest of the world a raised middle finger while exclaiming, "HAHAHAHAHAAAAH! FUCK YOU AND YOUR LIVE AID! Who's the charity case now, eh? Hey, Whitey, get off my lawn"?

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

1. Oh, my God, yes. I would have traded the little dog for her, because I hate the trope that says you can't kill the dog. It's a DISASTER ... I honestly don't care if the dog bites it. Besides, I was already writing fic in my head where they all make it onto the ship and live, and after Amanda Peet and her dopey second husband agree to amicably split so she can go off with John Cusack, the Russian girl (who ends up playing mommy to the twins since in my imaginary scenario the Russian guy still died) and the dopey second husband hook up.

Or I would have hooked her up with the hot Tibetan monk. She was turning into my little black dress of 2012 shipping in my head, aaaaand then they killed her for no reason, damn it.

2. Yeah, after the Mount Everest thing popped up, I thought they could have sent people up there to hold out, but then I started justifying why they didn't with, "Okay, well, the apocalypse did come on quicker than expected, and who knows how long they would have been up there, and they were willing to throw away the Chinese workers until the Operative from Firefly stood his ground," aaand the submarine thing popped into my head later and ... I don't know. They had that first anchor on the arks because of how strong the initial wave would hit, so maybe the submarines already out to sea would have been thrown around the same as the cruise ships and aircraft carriers were.

3. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

... uh, yes. :)

[spiritof1976.livejournal.com]

Yep, Russian girl winding up playing Mum to the twins while also hooking up with the Tibetan monk definitely works much better as a story resolution than just randomly killing her off in a flooded compartment. What dimwit did they allow to be in overall charge of the script?

Oh yeah, Roland Emmerich. Silly me.


Your icon has sent me scurrying off to YouTube to re-watch the Paloma Faith episode of Never Mind the Buzzcocks.

Just so you know, when I saw her live at Bestival, she was carrying a bunch of balloons.

[madripoor-rose.livejournal.com]

Just got back from seeing it and man, I wanted Tamara to live too. Eh, fanfic. I'm sure we could come up with a ridiculous and convoluted was for her to survive.

I really thought they were going to have to abandon ship on Everast and then the rest of the fleet was going to sink.

[wrenlet.livejournal.com]

When Random Science Guy announced that Africa may not have flooded, did you get mental images of the entire population of Africa giving the rest of the world a raised middle finger

HELL TO THE YES, I did! How many African nationals made it onto the Arks, anyway? *taps fingers* Could make the potential TV show ve-e-e-e-e-e-ery interesting.

[thebitterguy]

I was thinking of you while watching this film.

And I thought "Nothing in the world will ever please her as much as this film. Ever."