(no subject)

[apocalypsos]

I'm bored. Somebody tell me a story. I don't care about what. Make something up.

Please? *puppy-dog eyes*

Comments

[illmantrim.livejournal.com]

Once upon a time a prince got a dog-- the dog howled at the moon a lot so the prince set out to find another dog to help his companion settle down, but alone the way he ran into some monsters and was captured.


...and er... something happenned...

the end.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

i´m bored as well. don´t you want to tell me one? seeing as you are cuter than me?

First draft.

[wal-lace.livejournal.com]

'So… how was LA?'
'Oh, you know. Crazy Slayer. Former allies working for a sinister corporation. Suppressed homoerotic tension between certain of them…'
'You should really stop doing that.'
'No, it's cool. If Angel and Spike are secretly passionately in love…'
'They deserve each other.'
'The two Dark Avengers, seeking to save humanity from the… uh… darkness which they represent. Literally, now that they're actually Evil Lawyers.'
'They didn't stop you taking Dana away.'
'Yeah, well. I faced them down. I was seriously cool. I was all, you're not one of us, Angel. And he totally backed down…'
'You had fifteen Slayers standing right behind you.'
'I was still cool. Normal people can be cool too, you know.'
'Yeah. I guess.'
'… I think you're cool.'
'Andrew, you used to own the complete run of Gambit's solo comic.'
'Gambit is cool.'
'You think Cabaret is better than Rocky Horror.'
'Liza Minelli is cooler than Tim Curry.'
'And the Gods of Chaos delight in yet another impossible concept being expressed out loud.'
'She is cool.'
'…'
She is!'
'…'
'You know what would be cool?'
'What?'
'You should spell your name differently.'
'How many ways are there to spell my name?'
'I mean, with a Z. Like Liza. So you'd, like, be 'Zander'. With a Z. And you could sign your name as just, you know, Z.'
'You think I should sign my name 'Z'?'
'It would be cool.'
'No, it would be like Liza Minelli.'
'You really don't think Liza Minelli is cool?'
'…'
'Right.'

Re: First draft.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

andrew´s cool.
spangel is cool.
writing it with a "z" is cool.



but tim is way cooler than liza.

[milkshake-b.livejournal.com]

This is what popped into my head--but I'd just been reading Pratchett quotes, so it's understandable, I suppose.


Once upon a time in a kingdom that would have been far far away if it weren't also so long ago that due to spatial expansion it would actually be right next to you assuming that the distance of time were canceled out, which hopefully will never happen as that would result in a right lot of things being on top of each other, there lived a King and a Queen who had no children. This was not, as was more commonly the case then, the result of a curse, or bad luck despite their trying, or any number of other fairy-tale approved reasons; it was, rather, because the King and Queen had an arranged marriage and didn't get along so well. This did present a quandary, though, for the rest of the realm, since while Monarchy wasn't perhaps the best governmental form, by and large the set of royals they had right now weren't too bad, as they didn't tax terribly and generally kept the nobles from doing anything particularly bad to the peasants, which generally meant the peasants were fairly productive, which kept the nobles happy. The System Worked, anyway, and the ensuing scuffle between distant relations for the crown that would result when the present King and Queen went to the great big Castle in the Sky probably would result in a lot of these things not doing so well, not to mention a lot of nobles and peasants getting killed in scuffles they really didn't care about.

Thus the chief counselors of the realm got together and sent a missive to the colony of Fairies living on the borders of the realm, asking for some magical assistance. The Fairies soon sent along five representatives, each with their own area of specialty, who managed to make the King over so that the Queen decided she could tolerate his presence at least long enough to conceive, and thus, soon the announcement was made from the castle's fabulously redecorated courtyard that the Queen was with child. In the natural course of events she soon gave birth to a charming little girl, who she and the King named Taribitha Celestine Amadila Danith Eresta Modine Orinzile Fergean Morningglory Bliss. (The King and Queen were nice people, really, but they were royalty, and that carried certain naming obligations.) Everyone in the realm, after the drunken celebrations that preceded, promptly shortened the name, because saying Taribitha Celestine Amadila Danith Eresta Modine Orinzile Fergean Morningglory Bliss is an excellent way to check for level of inebriation, and indeed, bartenders in the Kingdom used that method for many years after Princess Tabby was long gone and her story was mostly forgotten.

In the grand tradition of such things, Princess Tabby was christened and given gifts from each of the five Fairies, but they weren't actually that interesting and have no bearing on this story whatsoever--except for the bit about the dancing.



(I have to stop now. I think I wrenched something in my brain. Anyone else feel like going with this? If not we can just let it sit there and blame it on the Pratchett-quote-reading.)

[wtfbrain.livejournal.com]

I'd go with it, but I'm laughing too hard... Hee!

[aint2nuts.livejournal.com]

I was bored, I read your stories. *G*

[fire-and-a-rose.livejournal.com]

How about a fairy tale?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Once upon a time, there was a very nice man who wrote stories about traveling the country and the prairie dogs he saw. And then the prairie dogs mauled him and he couldn't write anymore. The publisher was afraid his children's magazine would go under without the man's stories, so he went and found a starving college student who would write for cheap. But she didn't want to turn in a story about optimistically crippled orphans who talk to small animals, so she went into hiding and sent the publisher something else. And then things got bad.

[dawning-star.livejournal.com]

Once upon a time, there was a very beautiful Princess. No one could see her beauty, though, because she was sad all the time. Because she was sad, she was always frowning and no one in that land liked frowns. They called her the Troll Princess.

But one day, they stopped calling her a Troll Princess because a handsome Knight rode up on his faithful steed to her castle. He bent down on one knee, gazed soulfully into her eyes, and said, "My beloved troll princess, will you marry me?"

The Princess smiled sadly. "Alas, I cannot, unless you prove your worth to me. No knight has ever done so."

"What must I do to win your fair hand, my sweet?"

"1. Stop using overrated lines. 2. Get some class. 3. Shag Aragorn Elessar, Legolas Greenleaf, and Haldir of Lorien in front of me."

The knight gasped. "My lady! How can you expect me to surrender my lines?!"

The End.

:)

[illandaria.livejournal.com]

"Once there was a fair and comely maiden who was told by a troll princess she recently made the acquaintance of to tell her a story. This fair and comely maiden tried to think of something appropriate to tell, but she finally realized that she may be developing a wee bit of writer's block, so she decided to tell a story about the fact that she couldn't think of a story to tell, because, lo, she was quite pathetic. The story sucked, and she decided to go hide in shame. The end.

"Tufty Riquet"

[laurelin-kit.livejournal.com]

Once Upon a Time there was a queen who had the ugliest little baby imaginable, so ugly indeed, that it was almost impossible to believe he was a little boy at all.
A fairy, however, assured his mother that the little baby would be very good and clever, saying that she was also giving him a gift that would enable him to make the person whom he loved the best as clever as himself.
This somewhat consoled the queen, but still she was very unhappy because her son was so ugly. No sooner had the boy begun to speak than he could talk about all sorts of things, and he had such pretty ways that people were charmed with him.
I forgot to say that, when he was a baby, he had a funny little tuft of hair on his head, so he was called Tufty Riquet, for Riquet was the family name.
When Riquet was about seven years old, the queen of a kingdom nearby had two baby daughters, twins, of whom one was so exquisitely beautiful that the queen nearly died of joy when she saw her.
The fairy warned the queen not to be sick from excitement but that the little baby would be as stupid as she was beautiful. The queen was much grieved but was consoled that the fairy said that the second daughter, as hideous a baby as could be, would be the cleverest creature that could ever be met.
The two princesses grew up happily as could be, although many men first flocked to the beautiful princess, they grew so tired of her stupidity that they turned to the ugly daughter to hear her wonderfully clever speech.
One day the beautiful princess was so overcome that she fled to the woods to be alone and grief over her stupidity.
She cried, "I am so unhappy! Why was this done to me? How can I be so beautiful but so stupid?"
At that moment the Prince Tufty Riquet entered the clearing and beheld the beautiful princess. She looked and saw him.
"My lady, I can only guess that you are the princess of neighboring kingdom whose beauty is famed. I cannot understand how it is that anyone as beautiful as you are can be as sad as you appear to be. I must admit, that although I can say I have seen many pretty things, I have not seen one as beautiful as you," greeted the Prince Tufty Riquet.
The princess replied with something practiced and courteous and entirely meaningless.
"Beauty is so good that a person would give everything for it, and if anyone is as beautiful as you I can't understand anything troubling them greatly," said Tufty Riquet.
"I would rather be as ugly as you and be smart, than as beautiful as I am and so stupid."
"To think you are stupid is a sure sign that you have some cleverness, madam."
"I don't think about that, but I am quite sure that I am very silly and the grief of that is making me very unhappy."
If that is all that makes you sad, I can soon put an end to your unhappiness. I have the power to give intelligence to the person whom I love the best and if you will marry me, you shall become as clever as you can wish," offered the Prince, being quite taken with the lovely princess, despite her professed stupidity. She was astonished but remained silent.
"I can see that this proposal is not to your taste, and I am not astonished. I will give you a year to think about it." Tufty turned to leave, but the princess stopped him and agreed to marry him in one years time.

Re: "Tufty Riquet"

[laurelin-kit.livejournal.com]

cont'd...

No sooner had she said this than she could feel intelligence growing within her and she immediately began speaking in all sorts of clever ways coming up with many smart thoughts until she fancied that the Prince had given her all his cleverness and left none for himself.
When the princess returned to the palace, everybody was shocked to hear her speak of beautiful ideas. Everyone wanted to speak to her. Princes from other neighboring kingdoms asked to marry her, but she did not accept any.
But at last one arrived who was powerful, rich, clever and handsome that the princess could not help but like him. Her father noticed this and said she could choose him if she wanted.
She felt she needed time to think, and so she went to the wood. As she walked amongst the trees she heard all manner of voices speaking from under her feet.
"Bring me the saucepan!"
"Put some wood on the fire."
"What's going on?" asked the princess. She looked down and saw many servants under the ground working in a great kitchen to prepare what looked like a wonderful feast.
"We're preparing for the feast!" cried the servants.
"Whose?"
"For the Prince Tufty Riquet! Tomorrow is his wedding day!"
And the princess gasped, because indeed it had been one year since she accepted the prince's proposal of marriage and she had quite forgotten about it. She was foolish when she accepted and in being clever she forgot her former stupidities.
Tufty Riquet stepped out from behind a tree and greeted her. "Here you see me, madam, keeping my word. I'm sure you came here to keep yours and by marrying me make me the happiest of men."
"I confess that I have not made up my mind and I do not think I can ever do as you wish," said the princess sadly.
"You surprise me, madam."
"I believe that if you were not a good and clever man I would know how to act. But you know I was stupid when I promised to marry you, but now, as you can imagine, I am not so happy," explained the princess with great grief.
Tufty stepped forward and looked sadly at the princess. "Except for my ugliness, do you have anything else against me? My birth? My character? My manners?"
"No, I love those things in you," whispered the princess.
"If that is so, I shall indeed be happy, because you can cause me to become the most delightful of men if you want it. For know, my princess, the same fairy who at my birth gave me the power to give cleverness to the person I love, gave you the gift of making beautiful the one you love best," said Tufty with a smile.
"If that is true, I wish with all my heart that you would be the most handsome and pleasing prince in all the world!" cried the princess.
No sooner had the princess said these words than her wish fulfilled, though some say no change really took place in Riquet, but that the princess now loved him so much that all his ugliness was seen as beauty by her eyes.
However that may be, she immediately consented to be his bride, and, as the preparations had already been made, the wedding took place the very next day.

And they lived happily ever after. The End.

[generic-troll.livejournal.com]

I could tell a story about how I am the troll prince to come sweep you off your feet and off to live happily ever after, but no, I'm too generic for that.

[eiluned.livejournal.com]

When I was in the seventh grade, Mark Paul Gosselaar came to Dallas to some auto show. Now, at the time, I was a ginormous Saved By The Bell fan, and I was going to marry Zach. So anyway, my friend Shelley's mom had a friend who was a judge at said car show, and Shelley and I got to meet Mark Paul in private. I still have his autograph floating around in the garage. He didn't seem too thrilled to meet two star-struck pre-teens, but oh well.

And then there was the time that I was kidnapped by aliens in the middle of the night. Instead of taking me to the mothership and performing bizarre, vaguely sexual experiments on me, they dropped me off in Malta, right smack in the middle of the Troy set. I wandered around, quite disoriented as you can imagine, until Orlando Bloom found me. Shockingly enough, he believed my story about the aliens (apparently, they'd kidnapped him and dropped him off at Viggo's ranch once), so he took me back to his hotel and got me something to eat. We ended up playing strip yahtzee and got roaring drunk on Maltese wine. I vaguely remember something about the yahtzee dice cup being used in a wholly inappropriate way, and something obscene was done with the telephone receiver. And, of course, the aliens (one looked like a giant yellow frog wearing tinfoil) kidnapped me again, the bastards, and dropped me back off at my house. I did find a cell phone number written on the inside of my panties, and Orlando and I are going to meet up in Mallorca after he finishes filming Kingdom of Heaven. He said he'd leave that skinny blond bitch for me.

Jesus, that's the most creative I've been in weeks.

[wal-lace.livejournal.com]

He said he'd leave that skinny blond bitch for me.

Sean Bean is not a skinny blonde bitch!

[eiluned.livejournal.com]

Nonono, not that blonde bitch! Sean's the big, buff, tiger-in-the-sack blond bitch. Orlando said that he'll come and visit us in Mallorca and show us his amazing condom trick.

[muffytaj.livejournal.com]

Once upon a time there was this little puppy named Lucy. She was the cutest puppy of her litter, and everyone in the pet store loved her.

Then, one day, along came a little girl who wanted Lucy OHSOMUCH! So she begged and pleaded and promised and threatened her mother, and finally her mother said YES!

The next week was living hell. Lucy peed all over the place, barked during the night, and wanted to go walkies all the time. Finally, after a month of the little girl doing nothing to take care of the puppy and the pet store wouldn't take her back, the mother drove Lucy out to a nice forest, and dumped her there.

And there Lucy lived for many years, with a nice trim figure, living off rats, before she contracted the 'flu and died.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

So one day, me and Trollprincess conquered the United States. She turned the Oval Office into a video game arcade and made George Bush her official token-lackey. And I got to fire everyone in MTV.

The end.

[misshallelujah.livejournal.com]

Try this. Or this. Or maybe even this.

Hey, you DID say you were bored. :)

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

Voila.