(no subject)

[apocalypsos]

I'm bored. Somebody tell me a story. I don't care about what. Make something up.

Please? *puppy-dog eyes*

Comments

[eiluned.livejournal.com]

When I was in the seventh grade, Mark Paul Gosselaar came to Dallas to some auto show. Now, at the time, I was a ginormous Saved By The Bell fan, and I was going to marry Zach. So anyway, my friend Shelley's mom had a friend who was a judge at said car show, and Shelley and I got to meet Mark Paul in private. I still have his autograph floating around in the garage. He didn't seem too thrilled to meet two star-struck pre-teens, but oh well.

And then there was the time that I was kidnapped by aliens in the middle of the night. Instead of taking me to the mothership and performing bizarre, vaguely sexual experiments on me, they dropped me off in Malta, right smack in the middle of the Troy set. I wandered around, quite disoriented as you can imagine, until Orlando Bloom found me. Shockingly enough, he believed my story about the aliens (apparently, they'd kidnapped him and dropped him off at Viggo's ranch once), so he took me back to his hotel and got me something to eat. We ended up playing strip yahtzee and got roaring drunk on Maltese wine. I vaguely remember something about the yahtzee dice cup being used in a wholly inappropriate way, and something obscene was done with the telephone receiver. And, of course, the aliens (one looked like a giant yellow frog wearing tinfoil) kidnapped me again, the bastards, and dropped me back off at my house. I did find a cell phone number written on the inside of my panties, and Orlando and I are going to meet up in Mallorca after he finishes filming Kingdom of Heaven. He said he'd leave that skinny blond bitch for me.

Jesus, that's the most creative I've been in weeks.

[wal-lace.livejournal.com]

He said he'd leave that skinny blond bitch for me.

Sean Bean is not a skinny blonde bitch!

[eiluned.livejournal.com]

Nonono, not that blonde bitch! Sean's the big, buff, tiger-in-the-sack blond bitch. Orlando said that he'll come and visit us in Mallorca and show us his amazing condom trick.