(no subject)

[apocalypsos]

Dear President Bush,

I came home today to find a story on Yahoo News that said that the White House is declaring that the flap over the Iraqi uranium claim is a "bunch of bull." Just now, I noticed another story where you defended the intelligence on the matter as "darn good."

If you don't stop writing your press releases like a cowboy trying desperately not to curse in front of a pretty lady, I'm going to call Busch Gardens and tell them one of their chimpanzees is missing. Your alias and physical appearance would certainly go far to confirm that claim, and you'd be naked in public and surrounded by monkeys in no time. (You should already feel this way mentally by now -- might as well make it literal, yes?)

Sincerely,

A Pretty Fucking Lady

Comments

[norabombay.livejournal.com]

I figure if Busch Gardens hasn't noticed the missing chimps yet, they aren't likely to suddenly do so.

now TP you're just misunderstanding his message . . .

[tree220.livejournal.com]

let me translate:

the White House is declaring that the flap over the Iraqi uranium claim is a "bunch of bull."

now this is a true statement. their uranium claim is a "bunch of bull". and as such they would hope that people would stay away from the smelly mess.

you defended the intelligence on the matter as "darn good."

well compared to his intelligence (I know, that's an oxymoron) it was "darn good". by comparison to him, anyone elses intelligence is "darn good". unfortunately when dealing with the bush administration, all of them put together wouldn't equal a normal IQ.

now on to Busch Gardens. I hate to tell you this but they know he's missing but they don't want him anymore than the rest of us do. they have certain intelligence standards for their monkeys and he just doesn't cut the mustard and when they try to average him in with the rest of the monkeys it made them look bad.

but I do have a solution, since bush has such a fascination with Iraq let's just send him to the Baghdad Zoo. I know they desperately need new animals so they hopefully won't be as picky as other zoos.