Gacked from miggy ....

[apocalypsos]

What the hell, why not?

Give me 1000 comments in this entry. Or whatever, really. YOU, in particular, don't have to supply the whole 1000, but a tiny contribution would be nice. Then let me know if you post this in your journal and I'll return the favor.

Dudes, so this is your chance to spam me with anything! Pictures, lyrics, the word SPAM over and over. Feel free to tell me something about yourself, or screen your comments. Do whatever you want! It's all up to you.

Okay, so I realise 1000 is a tall number so just spam away and we'll see where we get up to. Please entertain me!

Comments

[troubleinchina.livejournal.com]

Nightblade the Halfling Thief: Hey hey hey, look who brought the Mountain Dew!

GM: Yeah!

Galstaff: Right on!

Nightblade: *sings* Fly by night brought Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew for you....

GM: Galstaff, as you are standing in a dirt road swinging a very unmagical sword, you see the strangest sight! A halfling thief is wandering towards you singing "Fly by Night".

Galstaff: Nightblade!

Nightblade: Hey hey!

GM: It's Nightblade the halfling theif, and he's carrying a 12-pack of Mountain Dew.

Galstaff: No way! His character is carrying Mountain Dew too?

GM: If a roll a ten or above then, yes. *rolls* Eleven.

Everyone: *laughs*

[troubleinchina.livejournal.com]

GM: Here's your character, Nightblade. Where's Picard the Elvin Ranger.

Nightblade: He's coming. And he's bringing his girlfriend.

Galstaff: And your point is?

Nightblade: Well, she's gonna wanna play.

GM: Fine. She can play. Anyone can play. We're a Browndeer High School Endorsed Activity with membership open to the student body. I don't care if Greg Irkman wants to play if he brings his own dice. If Sara Doheeny wants to play Advanced Dungeons and Dragons with us, she can play Titania.

Galstaff: OoOoOo!

Nightblade: Isn't that your character?

GM: It's not my character. I'm the DM, sometimes I have to send non player characters along with you to provide vital information.

Galstaff: Yeah, but it seems mostly you just end up talking through Titania.

GM: Well, whatever! Now we have a girl to play Titania.

Picard: Hey guys, what's up?

[troubleinchina.livejournal.com]

Everyone: Hello! Hey! How you doing!

Nightblade: Hey, Picard!

Picard: Sara, do you know everybody here?

Sara: I'm in biology with Scott.

Galstaff: GALSTAFF!

Sara: And you're...

Galstaff: He's Nightblade.

Nightblade: Jeremy.

Picard: And Graeme.

GM: Are you gonna play D&D with us?

Sara: I don't really know the rules.

Everyone but Sara: *laughs*

Picard: Listen, there aren't any rules, it's a game of the imagination.

Sara: Oh, okay.

GM: This is your character sheet. Your name is Titania.

Sara: I don't know what any of this stuff means.

Picard: I'll help you.

Sara: Okay.

GM: Well, it's way after four o'clock so can we get started?

Everyone: Sure, yeah! Yay! Uh-huh!

[troubleinchina.livejournal.com]

GM: Nightblade. You've been chatting with Galstaff on the village road and you now see Picard, the elvin ranger approaching.

Picard: And Titania.

GM: No, she's not here.

Sara: Where am I?

GM: Titania, you are in darkness.

Sara: Is there anything here?

GM: You're in Darkness.

Sara: Oh... I turn on the light!

GM: *laughs* Yeah, Thomas Edison appears in front of you and says "Idiot, I haven't been born yet!"

Sara: I attack him with my sword.

Galstaff: *laughs*

Sara: What?

Galstaff: He's not really there. That's DM magic.

Sara: What?

Picard: It's a joke, Sara.

Sara: I don't get it.

Picard: C'mon, Graeme, you're confusing her!

Nightblade: I'm gonna go to the snack machine.

GM: Wait, you guys are in the village!

Nightblade: Hey, I can still hear you. Let's go to the tavern!

GM: Nightblade is wandering off to the tavern.

Picard: As usual. Nightblade always goes to the tavern.

Sara: So, am I still in darkness?

Picard: Maybe you should light a torch.

Nightblade: Does anyone have another quarter?

Sara: I light a torch.

GM: Very good. You are in a room. But no more helping!

Sara: What's in the room?

GM: Nothing.

Sara: I go to the door.

GM: There is no door.

Picard: Graeme!

GM: The characters were in a certain place at a certain time at the end of the last adventure. I can't put her on a fluffy cloud just because she's your girlfriend.

Picard: Well, where is she?

GM: If you can't remember then your character can't remember!

Picard: Well, my character casts a locate person spell!

GM: *rolls dice* She's on the fifth sublevel of the Queen of Spider's dungeon, remember?

Picard: Oh brother.

Nightblade: Am I at the tavern yet?

GM: YES!

Nightblade: Does anyone have an extra quarter because otherwise I gotta get spoingas.

Picard: Galstaff!

Galstaff: Yes my friend of steady arrow and ready wit!

Picard: We have to rescuse Titania!

Galstaff: I will accompany you! If you kill the blacksmith that sold me this sword!

Sara: Yeah, yeah, kill the blacksmith, that sounds fun.

GM: Don't kill the blacksmith, that's stupid.

Picard: So what, are we doing it wrong now? He told me to kill the blacksmith, I kill the blacksmith.

GM: But your character wouldn't do that!

Picard: What makes you such an expert?

GM: The blacksmith turns into a dragon and eats you!

Everyone: Wha? Huh?

Nightblade: The spunions are stuck in the machine...

Sara: I'm gonna go home. I'm just in a stupid dark room anyway.

Picard: Sara, wait, don't go!

Sara: Call me later, okay?

[troubleinchina.livejournal.com]

Picard: Okay. ... What the hell is your problem?

GM: What's yours?

Picard: I don't know what you're talking about!

GM: YEAH RIGHT! Don't get mad at me because your girlfriend didn't have a good time. For God's sake this is advanced Mark.

Picard: Advance this!

GM: SHUT UP!

Picard: Oh, that's creative.

GM: I'm not worried about my creativity, Mark, I'm the Dungeon Master. I control worlds, universes. Every potion you drink, I mixed. Every magic item you find, I put it there. You remember when you killed that hill giant?

Picard: I rolled a 20, double damage.

GM: You rolled a 19, Mark. I fudged it. That giant would have killed you, man. But I admired your spark. You wanted it so badly, so I helped. Because I wanted to. And I help people when I want to. And right now you're roasting in the hot belly of a plantum dragon so why don't you ask yourself where your priorities lie.

Nightblade: Are we still playing?

Picard: Yeah.

Galstaff: In that case, Galstaff casts a friendship spell on both of you!

Nightblade: Friendship? What kind of gayness is that?

Galstaff: Shut up, Night-gayed!

Nightblade: I'm not gay, I was in the tavern with wenches!

Galstaff: Yeah, male gay wenches!

Nightblade: Like you--

GM: You guys, shut up!

Nightblade: Wha--

GM: Titania is here.

Picard: Titania?

GM: She says, "What?"

Picard: How did you get out of the dungeon?

GM: I turned my bag of holding inside out, wrapped it around me and walked through the dungeon walls.

Picard: You can do that?

GM: It's all the dice.

Picard: Well. Let's go on an adventure.

GM: Shouldn't we get "Sara"?

Picard: No! You play Titania.

GM: Titania gives you a crystal. She says, "Any time you need me, you can use this."

Nightblade: Um... are you guys being funny?

Galstaff: Ew...

[troubleinchina.livejournal.com]

The end.

I have no soul left.