(no subject)

[apocalypsos]

Gacked from illmantrium ...


Jessica Simpson Joins 'X-Men 3' Cast

Author: Alan Stanley Blair
Date: 07-13-2004
Source: Irish Examiner

The stunning singer Jessica Simpson is set to dazzle moviegoers everywhere, as she prepares to make her way into the comic book world of X-Men.

Simpson, who has also managed to land a role in the upcoming film adaptation "The Dukes Of Hazzard," will play the mutant superhero known only as Dazzler. According to the comics, Dazzler has the ability to convert sonic vibrations into various forms of photonic energy, including laser beams and holographic illusions.

"Jessica sent an audition tape and producers were impressed," said a source close to Simpson. "They will possibly give her a small role in 'X-Men 3' as a lounge singer to introduce the character of Dazzler."

Dazzler will work along side Hugh Jackman’s character of Wolverine, who has been the focus of the previous two films. Her appearance in the third film of the X-Men franchise will mark the singer’s first appearance in a genre film, having spent most of her time working in dramas. Her new film, "Walk On" currently is in production and is scheduled to be released at some point next year.

I ... I ... I ... *brainexplodeydeath*

This had better be someone's idea of a bad joke. A bad, bad joke.

Comments

[karenbear.livejournal.com]

AHHHHHHHH!

*skull explodes - grey matter everywhere*

[meinterrupted]

*cries*

[tinylegacies.livejournal.com]

OH PLEASE be a joke.

Isn't it bad enough that we have to put up with Nick Lachey on Charmed next season? What the hell is it with these two? Go be married or something and leave us alone.

[blacksatinrose.livejournal.com]

O_O

NO NO NO NO no no no nonononononononononoooooooooo! >

[william-mize.livejournal.com]

Oh NO they don't!
Bloody hell.

They will possibly give her a small role in 'X-Men 3' as a lounge singer to introduce the character of Dazzler."

And if, by saying 'possibly', they actually mean 'they won't', then I'm fine with that.

The only way I'd accept it is if she were on the screen for 15 seconds or less, similar to the way they introduced Beast, Gambit, Jubliee and Colossus.

Is there no escaping this woman?

[lady-eldarwen.livejournal.com]

I don't think I can take it if she's in and Halle stays but if Halle's out then maybe I could cope. /overdramatic

May she go the way of Gambit and if included let her be like Hank.
And why not Gwen Stefani damn it!

[http://users.livejournal.com/___destijl/]

*cries*

I heard about this from the guy who runs my X3 RPG group... I thought it was just a bad joke. But then he put her picture in the photos section and asked if anyone wanted to play her...

*cries more*

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I don't even mind if they have Dazzler for 15 seconds as a cameo, just as an in-joke for those of us who got a chuckle at "Bye Bye Bye" on Scott's CD player.

But Jessica Simpson? *wails as the theme song to "The Omen" plays*

[sekari.livejournal.com]

oh crap.

[muffytaj.livejournal.com]

I've heard something about that, but thought it was bullshit. As for making her one of the main characters?

No. nonononononononononono. More slightly illegal Rogue/Wolverine dammit!

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

This news makes me want Halle Berry to stay as Storm. That's not right.

[phillyexpat.livejournal.com]

Jessica's a phenomenon right now. Why, I don't know. I do know I prefer her to Paris Hilton.

There's an excellent article on her in the August Vanity Fair. Supposedly, she has a 160 IQ.

[thornsilver]

160 of what?

[telaryn.livejournal.com]

I ... I ... I ... *brainexplodeydeath*

This had better be someone's idea of a bad joke. A bad, bad joke.

On the bright side, Anna Paquin's Rogue suddenly looks like casting *brilliance*.

Why do I just know this means they're going to put her in the gouge-my-eyes-out 70's outfit?

[snellios.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHA. I can't see past the fact that this is fucking funny. Later, when ive gotten over it, I'll probably go on a killing spree. Wanna come?

[vivian-shaw.livejournal.com]

There is only one thing worse than having Dazzler in a movie, and that is having Jessica Simpson play Dazzler in a movie.

I hurt now.

[phillyexpat.livejournal.com]

It could be worse. It could be Britney. Or Paris Hilton.

Missing the point completely...

[singeaddams.livejournal.com]

They're going to adapt 'The Dukes of Hazzard?!'

Re: Missing the point completely...

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Hey, Jessica as Daisy Dukes, I can buy.

[unanon.livejournal.com]

Ok.. this is...like...officially the worst news of the morning.

[fyrdrakken]

Damn, that's a great icon! New?

[anxietygrrl.livejournal.com]

Wow. Who would have thought Dazzler could suck more?

[the-swordman.livejournal.com]

Forgive me for being blissfully ignorant but Jessica Simpson isn't that famous on this side of the Atlantic. I checked out IMDB and it doesn't say much ("she loves to shop at Abercrombie"... yeah right, amazing actress...).
Mind to enlighten me ?
She can't be worse than Halle Berry... Can she ?

[snellios.livejournal.com]

d00d, she is quite famous. Ever heard of newlyweds? she also had a pop career over here (for like, a second). But i suppose you shouldn't know her if you're not a teeny. I am,

[maechi.livejournal.com]

That is complete and utter bullshit. :X

[livejamie.livejournal.com]

dazzler isn't like a spectacularly smart character.

she's kinda a dumb teenage girl.

i don't know...

rebecca romijin has done a really good job herself in the xmen movies, and she has hardly any lines.

maybe jessica will be the same.

altho rebecca is hotter.
:p

No she isn't.

[redhawk.livejournal.com]

Dazzler is the spawn of lawyers, had a successful singing career, a not-so-successful movie career (well, at least Guido liked it), and is as of the last time I heard running around with Longshot in the Mojoverse.

Back in the day, she was Alison "The Human Mattress" Blaire, but hey, every team needs one! ;)

Redhawk

[wiredwizard.livejournal.com]

=shrug= At the beginning of her career, Dazzler wasn't much more than a disco version of Jessica Simpson on rollerskates who could do her own light show, so I don't understand the fuss.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_redpanda_/]

My thoughts exactly. Good casting choice. (And mind, I LIKED Dazz, so that's no slur -- just the truth. :)

[lincolnkw.livejournal.com]

personally I sort of hope we get to see her with the 70s outfit. Sadly wer wouldn't as she'd get updated - but still.

Feathered hair, silver lame bellbottoms, the disco ball necklance and roller skates!

Hmmm. come to think of it, isn't The Dukes of Hazzard a 70s show?

[miggy.livejournal.com]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh man. That is some funny shit right there, and I love the X-Men movies. Granted, I love Dazzler... but I also love Xanadu, so you really shouldn't trust my taste. I tend to like the really, really stupid.

[natgel.livejournal.com]

Good GOD! >_<

I am broken.

[storm_dancer]

:: collaspses into sobs ::

[zeelee-penguin.livejournal.com]

Oh christ.

If.... man. If they let *her* be in it, but not Gambit, I'm taking that as final, incontrovertible proof that there is no God. *cries*

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

See, this could only get better- instead of those silly roller skates, she could drive into action in the General Lee...



...and then Magneto could accidentally squish her and say, "Oops- my bad."