(no subject)

[apocalypsos]

Gacked from illmantrium ...


Jessica Simpson Joins 'X-Men 3' Cast

Author: Alan Stanley Blair
Date: 07-13-2004
Source: Irish Examiner

The stunning singer Jessica Simpson is set to dazzle moviegoers everywhere, as she prepares to make her way into the comic book world of X-Men.

Simpson, who has also managed to land a role in the upcoming film adaptation "The Dukes Of Hazzard," will play the mutant superhero known only as Dazzler. According to the comics, Dazzler has the ability to convert sonic vibrations into various forms of photonic energy, including laser beams and holographic illusions.

"Jessica sent an audition tape and producers were impressed," said a source close to Simpson. "They will possibly give her a small role in 'X-Men 3' as a lounge singer to introduce the character of Dazzler."

Dazzler will work along side Hugh Jackman’s character of Wolverine, who has been the focus of the previous two films. Her appearance in the third film of the X-Men franchise will mark the singer’s first appearance in a genre film, having spent most of her time working in dramas. Her new film, "Walk On" currently is in production and is scheduled to be released at some point next year.

I ... I ... I ... *brainexplodeydeath*

This had better be someone's idea of a bad joke. A bad, bad joke.

Comments

[unscriptedwords.livejournal.com]

*weeps tears of blood*

[titti]

I'm scarred for life. I don't even want to think about my emotional trauma if it's true.

[paradisacorbasi.livejournal.com]

Too blissed about lack of That Woman to be disturbed by this.

It'll be a small part, since this is the third movie.

The color of the sky in my world is a color which lacks any of the pinks and yellows found on That Woman's website.

Bliss, bliss, bliss.

With ya there...

[ninamonkey.livejournal.com]

And c'mon, I'm sorry. You know the casting directors have crap-for-brains if they cast Halle Berry for Storm (and now they're considering Christina Milan--??) WTF?

Honestly, it doesn't surprise me in the least.

Note to geeky fangirls/guys: They're into BEAUTY, not ACTING so don't expect any good pics.

Oh, yes - and they're into cheap. Very, very cheap.

[vagabondsal.livejournal.com]

...Oh, by the shores of Gitche Gumee. Is there nothing that that woman doesn't have her talons in?

[ladynaberrie.livejournal.com]

*stabs brain*

[odestructogirlo.livejournal.com]

Woah. I don't actually know you, but I read your journal on a regular basis.

And I think that I'm going to take your lj-cut warnings seriously.
This is horrible. I want to cry. Dazzler is cool, but...oh god. *shudder*

[baka-tenshi.livejournal.com]

[chandri.livejournal.com]

*has gone blind*

[baka-tenshi.livejournal.com]

[wal-lace.livejournal.com]

What a clever idea. Let's cast a vapid blonde numbskull in the role of a vapid blonde numbskull.

Why the fuck are they putting Dazzler, of all characters, in the movies?

Also, the mutant superhero known only as Dazzler? Alison Blaire, dumbass.

Anyone remember that time Jubilee found out Dazzler was a singer and was all, like, 'she can't be any good, I've never heard of her'? The first time I heard this rumour, that was me and Jessica Simpson. These days I'm just 'Oh. She really isn't any good'.

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

Who is Jessica Simpson?

::is pop culture impaired, as if you couldn't tell by the icon::

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

There's Britney Spears, then there's Christina Aguilera, then's there's Mandy Moore, and somewhere on that third tier of anoying femal pop star is Jessica Simpson. And where Britney's got the beauty, Christina's probably got the best singing voice, and Mandy's actually kind of charming, Jessica's selling point (because of her and her husbad's reality TV show Newlyweds) is pure, unadulterated idiocy.

She was once questioned whether "Chicken of the Sea" was tuna or chicken, to give you some idea. She might be faking her stupid, but if she is, it just makes her that much more annoying.

[wal-lace.livejournal.com]

You know, that's exactly the explanation I've been needing for the last six months.

[myniamh.livejournal.com]

WHAT HAPPENED TO GWEN STEFANI!?

[william-mize.livejournal.com]

Because I'm an X-Men geek and I also know your mental health is sometimes perilous, here's an update on this with 20th Century Fox debunking the whole Jessica Simpson thang:

http://www.superherohype.com/x-men/index.php?id=1730


Ciao bella :>

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank GOD. *sigh of relief*

[william-mize.livejournal.com]

Gotta earn my keep around here, right? :>

I see scores of X-Fans dancing in the aisles. Streets. Danger Room. Whatever.

[havocthecat]

Dude. No way. If they're going to bring in Dazzler, could we maybe get... Not Jessica Simpson? Because Dazzler's cool. And really fricking smart. And... And... No. Just. No.