(no subject)

[apocalypsos]

Dear famous actresses,

If you want the tabloids to stop speculating about whether that new ring on your finger is an engagement ring, then stop exchanging freakin' "promise rings" with your significant others. For crying out loud, who in real life has extra money to waste on a ring that's not an engagement ring?

Sincerely,

Me

******

Dear Lindsay Lohan,

I don't know if that's self-tanner or what happens after several days in the tanning salon, but LAY OFF. You're starting to become prime wank fodder for the Oompah Loompah population.

Sincerely,

Me

******

Dear God,

Please give me a boyfriend. I don't even care if he's an imaginary bloke from Canada. I just want someone to scare off the creepy Mexican from work who keeps hitting on me and looks terrifyingly like my uncle Butch. Who, you might have noticed, is a fucking putz.

Sincerely,

Me

******

Dear writing muse,

Oh, so NOW you're on crack. You can go fuck yourself.

Sincerely,

Me

******

Dear Magic Voice,

Hey! That is not your cue to go hit on my writing muse.

Sincerely,

Me

Comments

[silly-dan.livejournal.com]

I don't even care if he's an imaginary bloke from Canada.

I'm sure there are plenty of imaginary Canadians who'd volunteer. 8)

[xturtle.livejournal.com]

*raises hand* I'll be your imaginary bloke from canada. Granted, you will have to imagine that I'm a) a bloke, and b) from Canada, but I'm willing to be creative for a good cause.
:-)
CJ

[laughingrat.livejournal.com]

Hee! An English friend once sent me some clever advertising postcard she'd gotten...it's got a bit you can cut out that's the size of a wallet photo, and it is indeed a photo of a handsome, slightly aggressive-looking man. The caption underneath the bit you cut out says "YOUR BOYFRIEND," and the text on the back instructs the bearer to "keep in wallet in case of unwanted male attention."

[ingole.livejournal.com]

Your boyfriend's name can be George Tropicana Glass.

[girlwiththebook.livejournal.com]

dude no way. there's a gay man at my work with that name.

[ingole.livejournal.com]

Seriously? Do you talk to him in a Jan Brady voice all the time? :)

[juliadactyl.livejournal.com]

I read your letters out to my boyfriend, furpants_tom and his response was:

"Oompah, Loompah, Loompahty Lohan..."
He's gone very quiet now, I suspect he's trying to find a rhyme for "Lohan".

[wicked-dragon-x.livejournal.com]

... Rohan? Afhan?

[milkshake-b.livejournal.com]

Actually I've known several people who have gotten 'promise rings'. One case got it from her girlfriend, though, so probably shouldn't count, but the others are generally, like, the girl is making "I need something tangible, here!" noises, and the guy is going, "I don't want to comit that much."

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Maybe these are people who like 'Buffy' a little too much. (See 'Cladagh' rings)

[spiritof1976.livejournal.com]

Can I be your imaginary bit on the side that you're cheating on the imaginary boyfriend from Canada with?


Go on, I'll take you on a really romantic imaginary date. ;)

[mystic-savage.livejournal.com]

Hi--

I'd love to use this entry as a future "savage spotlight" column on the Mystic Savage webpage. (http://www.mysticsavage.com/new.html)

May I? You can email me at the link on the site.

Virginia

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Sure, go ahead. :)

[ngaio]

I'll be your imaginary boyfriend! (OK, I'm female, but . . . erm . . . I have no hair so I could probably supply a convincingly masculine photo!) Or I could lend you Henry? He already has several 'other women' so one more would be fine!