Today I went to the zoo and I saw aardvarks, bears, camels, donkeys ...

[apocalypsos]

Okay, so maybe not. ;)

So, I did end up going to the zoo but I didn't get to see the cheetah cubs. I got to the zoo at about quarter after twelve to find a line extending almost to Connecticut Avenue going to the cheetah enclosure. So I just got into line and started fiddling with my camera. What felt like several hours later ...

GUY BEHIND ME: How much longer until the cheetah cubs go away?
WOMAN BEHIND HIM: They're only out from 11 to one.
ME: *checks iPod and sees it's 12:50*
ELDERLY COUPLE TWENTY FEET AHEAD OF ME: *turns to stone*
LITTLE BOY IN FRONT OF ME: I like The Wizard of Oz. I like the Tin Man.
ME: *pounds head against sidewalk*

So, since it wasn't worth waiting for the cheetah cubs if I wasn't even going to see them, I broke out of line and wandered off to take pictures of other animals.



This is a capybara, otherwise known as a Big Fucking Gigantic Yet Oddly Cute Rat. Capybaras eat hay, and pellets, and a young Cary Elwes dressed entirely in black.



And then I found the hippo. Which wasn't difficult, because it's hard to lose a hippo.



I think an elephant and his crap are self-explanatory.

Then I wandered off to the Great Ape House, in which the apes were engaged in a Jerry Springer episode. The father kept chasing after the kids and shoving them around, while the mother sat off to the side with the same look your mother used to get on her face when you and your siblings were screaming and your father made the mistake of saying, "I've got to watch the game. You can handle this, right?"

I didn't get a photo of the apes, because the glare from the sun through the windows kept reflecting bitchy middle-aged women on the glass, but while I was kneeling in front of the glass, an adorable little blond girl with pigtails wandered up to me.

LITTLE GIRL: Are you a mommy?
ME: Nope.
LITTLE GIRL: Are you a sister?
ME: Nope. I came by myself to take pictures for my mommy and my friends.
LITTLE GIRL: That's a nice camera.
ME: Thanks. Santa gave it to me.
LITTLE GIRL: I wish I had a camera like that.
ME: You want to see the pictures I took so far?
LITTLE GIRL: Okay!
ME: *dies of cute*

And then I showed her the photos I'd taken so far, and then her mother showed up to take her to see the big cats before I could do something rash, like file formal adoption papers.



So then it was off to the Reptile House, which is kind of embarrassing with me because I have a tendency to coo at anything with scales. This won't serve me well if I'm ever surrounded by alligators. This made me look particularly stupid when I kept squealing, "Helloooooo," at something that's basically got enough bits to make four snakes instead of one.



I don't remember what kind of lizard this was, I just remember it had tiny sharp teeth and red eyes and had perfected the ability to say, "I loathe you all and curse you to the fiery depths of Hell," without actually saying a word. I wonder if he's giving lessons.

Then I went to the invertebrate house. (Invertebrates are animals without spines. Examples of invertebrates include the octupus, the squid, and Donald Rumsfeld.) Which is where I took these pictures.





Now, you have to understand my love of seafood. My immediate reaction to seeing both of those is always, "Man, I could go for some lobster." Which is sad, because as a vicious taunt, towards the exit of the National Zoo exhibit is a display of seafood packaging and spices. Aw, man, that's not fair. (Of course, it didn't stop me from getting a fish sandwich at the restaurant. In fact, I couldn't get there fast enough, and it's possible I teleported there and just don't know it. Hee.)



I solemnly swear that I didn't ask for the camel to smile for the camera.



And see? It's not like I didn't get any photos of big kitties. Don't you just want to cuddle that big kitten? *snuggles, gets eaten by lion*



According to the little sign in front of the cage, this was a fishing cat. All I know if that he came when I called him. Awww.

And last but not least ...



When I first walked over to the red pandas, this one was all sprawled all over the branches in a way where the only clear picture I could get of him was of his butt. But then everybody left and it was just me and I called out, "C'mon, buddy, turn around so I can see your cute little face." So then he yawned, got up and faced me, and I got a picture. Oh, my God, I can talk to the animals! *dies*


In other news, I'm rooting for the Eagles because they're the underdog, but daaaaamn, Tom Brady is really fucking hot.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_redpanda_/]

*squee at the last pic, among others* But the enclosures in those first three pics look hideous. Especially the hippo's. :(

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I know. I think it was because the weather's still not warm enough and they might have to stay inside, but yeah. Blech. (And I figured you'd like that last pic. You should have seen him in person. He kept making faces at me. ;))