(no subject)

[apocalypsos]

Dear Jake,

You were in a tux. This is good.

You were masquerading as a caterer. This is bad.

However, you were at your most adorable when you were quitting. Yay, you.

Oh, and let's talk about your love life. Sarah was waiting for you at the Washington Monument with beer, and you didn't go. Good boy. But then Diane was back at the NSA, frantically pacing back and forth worrying about you, and you didn't go back and have lots of happy sex with her. Shame on you. What you did do was go to the Lincoln Memorial and commiserate about girls over beer withs Kyle. Congratulations! If there wasn't a slash contingent in the Jake 2.0 fandom, there is now. By midnight, there should be a story on the Pit of Voles where the two of you shag like crazy on the steps to such erotic extremes that poor Abe's stovepipe hat wilts. Just you keep that in mind.

Also, I saw who you were kissing in the promo for next week's episode and I just wanted to warn you that I recognize her as the love interest from that crappy Lance Bass movie. So, you know, she's got boy band cooties all over her. And she looks nothing like me. Make out with the doctor, would you? It's easier for me to have the naughty self-insertion dreams when you make out with Diane.

If you ever do make out with her. 'Cause if not, you're a tool.

And no, no pun intended about the nanites. Shut up and screw your doctor. Sheesh.

Sincerely,

TP

Comments

[hiddenw.livejournal.com]

Shut up and screw your doctor. Sheesh.
Yes! In fact it's doctor's orders.