apocalypsos | (no subject)

1. My mother once nearly stole a banana peel Tiger Woods threw away.

True. As sad and pathetic as it is. ;) Hell, it's not like he was giving out autographs to adults. My mom and dad went to a golf tourney in Long Island and he walked past them near the clubhouse and threw away his banana peel in the garbage can next to my mom. My mom kept giving the garbage can sidelong glances until my father told her, "No, Joann, you can't take the banana peel." And now you know why I'm insane.

2. My little brother went to Los Angeles a while back with a friend of his and tried hitting on this one girl in a restaurant who turned him down. They got to talking, and she mentioned she was an actress. A few weeks ago, he finally figured out who she was when he saw an ad for "The O.C." and recognized her as the blond chick.

False. Yes, he went to L.A. No, he didn't hit on Mischa Barton.

3. My uncle is a music critic for the San Francisco Chronicle. He's interviewed Paul McCartney, Elton John, Chris Rock, etc. He also got a phone call at his house from Ellen Degeneres after he gave her show a positive review.

True. My mom thinks it's funny when I'm walking through the living room to tell me who he's interviewed lately just to see the double take. The last column I read of his is actually kind of cool. Terrifying, but cool.

4. My aunt's college roommate dated Owen Wilson. He used to hang out with her all the time.

True. I only wish she still had his phone number. ;)

5. My mother once sold one of her art projects to the actress who played Jason's mother in "Friday the 13th".

That's true, too.

EDIT: To those of you who don't take the jaunt over to my uncle Jim's column, well ... let's put it this way. I suddenly have a new appreciation for Jennifer Lopez.