(no subject)

[apocalypsos]

Dear Renee Zellweger,

You have to gain weight to play Bridget Jones. Fine. I get that. But the weight that you have to reach to play her? That's my weight.

If the media wants to make a big deal about how you have to get "fat" to play Bridget, the media's obviously too stupid to realize that the "fat" you should still be able to fit into a pair of size 6 jeans from Old Navy. Which means that the "regular" you can probably fit into the size 1 jeans, which can only be worn by microphone stands and Olive Oyl.

Just remember, regular Renee gets engaged to Jim Carrey. Eats-a-sandwich Renee makes out with Colin Firth and Hugh Grant.

Comments

[wickedripeplum.livejournal.com]

The thing that annoys me about the whole Renee gains sooo much weight to play Bridget Jones is that she looks better with the extra weight. She has so little fat in her normally that she just looks old. Yet everyone is so amazed by the sacrifice she's making for her craft.

[azurelunatic]

LJ caroling:

So, whazzup? Friends pages are down for free users.

So, we bring this message of LJ-outage cheer, hugs, and hot drinks all around!

Fifteen men on a dead man's chest
(yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum) --

*the Lunatic is whacked over the head by a large, heavy object*

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

She doesn't look old to me normally, she just looks like she's dying prettily from a wasting disease.

[tree-pretty.livejournal.com]

Hear hear!!

[myniamh.livejournal.com]

Eats-a-sandwich Renee makes out with Colin Firth and Hugh Grant.


EAT GIRL! EAT!!!

[soundczech.livejournal.com]

Girl needs to sort out her priorities. Here, I'll help.

Priority Number One: Mr. Darcy .

There, that should do it.

[unanon.livejournal.com]

The woman is actually cute and touchable when she's gained a few pounds for the Bridget Jones persona. Her 'normal' weight ala Chicago makes me want to scamper away in fear. She could impale people on her hipbones.

And the little simper she plays up...you know...that Zellweger squint...is downright UGLY when she's ultra skinny. She can still pull it off when she has a little flesh on her bones, but UGH.

I'm completely unimpressed with skinny Renee. Colin Firth probably appreciates the bit of necessary padding she has to put on for the Bridget Jones role.

As for the media hype? Nothing but bunk. The most impressive modern dramatic physical changes in cinema (ignoring Marlon Brando's past variations) have been Benicio del Toro's gain of 40+ pounds to portray the Samoan lawyer in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and Tom Hank's dramatic shifts for Cast Away.

'Nuff Said.