there was a young woman from boobville ...

It's probably wrong that I'm just happy I broke halfway through my getyourwordsout pledge, right?

( Word meters ahoy! )

The bad:

1. There's no way in hell I'm going to get my GYWO pledge for this year, but then again I already knew that.
2. I didn't win NaNo even if you just add up everything I wrote last month.
3. I probably won't be writing a lot of new stuff this month anyway, since I'll be editing.

The good:

1. I finished Heroine Addiction, didn't I? \o/
2. That means that I have two first drafts to edit, but I want to have them done before I start writing whatever I'm writing next.
3. ... because I'm pledging again with GYWO for next year. Er, heh. :D

That said, I'm definitely not trying for the Difficult level. I'm probably going to pledge for 200k this time around. I think my problem all boils down to the fact that when I'm working, all I want to do is go home and write, and when I'm not working I get horrendous writer's block. I spent two-thirds of this year unemployed. You do the math.

The plus side of having a full-time job again is that I'm being reminded of sitting at work bouncing in my seat wanting to race home and write. There's also the added advantage that being at work -- where I can't access the internet or be distracted by emails and don't have an MP3 player to listen -- means I've been writing stuff out in notebooks or, as I've been doing the past few days, taking a red pen to a first draft. It's the perfect environment for it.

I have an hour or so before I'm going to bed -- I want to hit the grocery store before work, which means getting up a bit earlier than I'm used to -- so the plan after I'm done writing this up is to see how much of the Heroine Addiction edits I can get in the file before bedtime. Time to pop on an Air Crash Investigation episode and buckle down, I guess. :)

Heroine Addiction:



I'm too damn close to the end to go to bed until I finish the whole damn thing. I don't care if I have to pull an all-nighter, this shit's getting done TONIGHT.

Let me tell you guys, I better get a fucking pony out of this, that's all I've got to say.

(Actually, I'd settle for being able to spend the entire day on the couch tomorrow eating Chinese food and watching Iron Man. Either, or.)

Heroine Addiction:



Chapters done:



I'm up to something like 14k this month, although that's split between this and NaNo. I'm giving myself a break and then I'm going to try and pound out some more words on this. If I'm going to start work on Monday, I want to start it carrying around an editing draft of Heroine Addiction.

... how much I've written this month altogether.

Heroine Addiction:



Untitled big silly gay romance:



This Way To The Egress:



Which comes to 9241 words. If it were all in one story, I'd have my NaNo quota right now.

Oh, and I only have six more chapters of Heroine Addiction to go. I just have to, you know, sit down and knock them out. And then this way I can focus on Egress.

This Way To The Egress:



This one. I'm doing this one for NaNo. 'Cause it's working and I know what I'm writing. It's my life story, except on CRACK. I'm not even joking. It makes my NaNo icon more than a little hilarious.

I could easily keep going tonight because the writing flows really well, but at the same time I'm reaching that point where if I keep staring at the computer screen, my eyeballs will threaten to explode.

Untitled gay romance:



I may completely rewrite what I already wrote for it because I feel like the first sentence is a high point and then it just kinda tumbles downhill on me. Plus, I want to get a bit more of an idea where I'm going with it. However, I'm definitely hoping to finish the damn thing because in a "if everybody else jumped off a bridge" moment, if so many other people on my friends list can get or attempt to get original m/m romance published, then damn it, so can I. :D

EDIT: Oh, and by the by, I blame those 1482 words on Write Or Die. I am going to get sooooo much use out of that this month. *rubs hands together with glee*

( Cut for a few too many word meters )

I haven't started working on my NaNo yet -- breakfast first, then writing. I don't know ... I'm just going to sit down after I eat and whichever muse shows up first and with the most enthusiasm, that's the one that's getting written.

Heroine Addiction:



The good news is that I built up a bunch of dialogue and should be able to easily get two chapters done tomorrow and juggled things around until now I only have eleven chapters to finish.

The bad news is as of tomorrow I'm three chapters behind how many I'm supposed to have done. Urgh. I was going to try to stay up and finish the one I was working on, but I can't stare at a computer screen much longer, so it's off to bed with me.

Heroine Addiction:



There's some kind of metaphor in here about how I was ready to climb a wall yesterday, except some of the bricks fell out of the wall and cramming them back in took forever and when I was done the wall looked at me and laughed and said it wanted a nap so I'd have to climb the wall tomorrow. Stupid wall.

I've got two chapters outlined and dialogued to write today. And they're mostly dialogue, so I don't think they'll take too long. *crosses fingers*

EDIT: Also, I bought this last week and it finally arrived today. It looks so pretty and snuggly. I can't wait to wear it. :)

Heroine Addiction:



I've spent most of the day bouncing around writing little bits here and there that I know I need to add. The goal is to write bits and pieces like that and then string them together just like beading a necklace, which is how I pounded out ten thousand words and five or six chapters in one day the year I won NaNo. :)

I really have to pick up some printer ink this week when I get paid. I have none left and it's going to be a necessity when I finally finish the damn thing.

*

Yuletide! I took a break from writing while I was eating lunch and skimmed through the fandoms, making a list of anything I might like from the ones that are available. I got about ten or so, but once I trash the ones I don't feel particularly attached to, I definitely have a nice list of prompts to sign up with.

Oh, and I may do another vague catch-all prompt like I did last year, just 'cause. Heh.

*

I'm not even exaggerating when I tell you all that every time I've sat down at the computer today, the cat has stretched out across my lap and refused to leave. Granted, that's because I keep putting the electric blanket over my legs and that is not mine to use, it's HIS blanket, but still.

It's such a perfect writing day, though. It's rainy, it's Saturday, I've got nowhere to go and nothing to do (save that run to the store for milk and toilet paper), and it's not even really cold out. It's actually pretty warm out. The only reason I don't have the windows open is because the rain appears to be hitting all sides of the house, so even if I crack them open a bit it'll still get in.

Is it weird that I only just realized I haven't watched TV all day long? Huh. Also, I think I need to go make more tea. I swear, I feel so boring right now. It's just been tea and writing and more tea and more writing since I woke up. I feel like a wee little cliche, except I'm not wearing a bathrobe.

*

EDIT: *shakes YouTube to make the new Buzzcocks fall out*

Stop giving me clips from the show and give me the whole damn episode! RAWR.

Heroine Addiction:



Look, three-quarters of the way done! \o/

I'm still not done with the two chapters I have to get done before I can go to bed, but the good thing is that I can stay up late tonight and not worry since I have nowhere to go tomorrow. Or for the next four days after that. I think I'd have an easier time getting the chapter I'm currently working on done if I hadn't skipped around a lot at work and written bits here and there I wanted to get down, but hey, that means less work later on, right?

Anyway, I may actually be able to pull this off. WOOHOO. I will be so thrilled to get this manuscript done and out of the way, I swear to God. I've been working on Heroine Addiction for six months this week, and it feels like FOREVER.

*

Oh, and by the way, I apologize to anybody who's kinda sick of hearing me yammer on about writing. Here, let me give you a taste of what you came here for: Hardcore nudity! The jokes, the boykissing, and the fic.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because that's where the two hot roosters were making out.

The chicken brought popcorn, lube, and a video camera, and a good time was had by all.

You're welcome. :)

For my own personal benefit, my year-to-date getyourwordsout count before the computer went kerflooey:



My current Heroine Addiction count:



Aaaaaaaaaand now I'm trapped under the cat.

Heroine Addiction:



I was supposed to get here how many days ago? *sigh*

That said, I plan on printing out the bits and pieces I've got of the last however many chapters I have to finish and doing what I normally do, which is tape the bits into a notebook and fill in the blanks where I don't have anything written yet. I do have an outline, it's just really basic. and the pace up until now has been ... well, not slow, just ... not faster, I guess.

I kinda want to take out The Grand Prize Winner tomorrow and bang it with a stick to see what falls out. I haven't touched it in a while and it feels bad knowing I've got a perfectly acceptable first draft on my computer and I haven't gotten past chapter six in the editing process yet. (Maybe seven? Close enough.)

I still have to figure out what I want to do for NaNo. I'm so TORN. I have a metric fuckload of ideas -- that's one thing that never goes away regardless of any writers block: my ability to brainstorm new story ideas -- but nothing really pops at me and says, "I could easily give you 50,000 words in a month." They're all clamoring to be written, they're just not clamoring to be written quickly.

That first line from the other day is still begging for an actual plot. Urgh. What's typical YA novel word count length again? I'm either going to turn that first line into a YA novel or get back to The Hollow Girl (also YA) or both.

Heroine Adddiction:



Chapters finished:



I have about two thousand words to go before I'd consider myself done for the day, unless I want to keep going, of course. I have, however, found a way to encourage myself to write -- Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes. Apparently there are a bunch of them on YouTube, and since they're the only reliable place I've found to watch them that won't load me up with spyware, require me to wait for the DVDs, or expect me to download the episodes onto my netbook, which barely has any room for the things that are already on it, YouTube it is!

Also, today I've learned that the only reason my cat will sit on my lap is because the electric blanket is there. It doesn't even have to be turned on. He just likes the fuzziness of it. (It's chilly today. Stupid Labor Day. *pouts*)

Heroine Addiction:



So THAT'S out of the way.

Heroine Addiction:



Is it bad that I get more done if I skim retro clothing sites for dresses I think are sexy as hell, put Vera in them, and send her on her merry way to see what happens? 'Cause, yeah, I'm currently having a lot more fun dressing her up like Pin-Up Barbie and letting her loose to push people around.

Heroine Addiction:



I'm getting there. I'm taking forever to get there, but still.

In which I am whiny and worrisome. So basically, business as usual.

*

The God book (whatever the hell I'm calling it today) is coming along ... okay, I guess. I need to be in a snarkier mode, which I just haven't been all weekend, and I have a feeling this is going to be one of those stories I write that ends up Sponsored by Smirnoff Ice (TM). You know, just as soon as I can afford Smirnoff Ice again.

I think it doesn't help that I keep debating myself on the tone. On one hand, I don't want to be a complete bitch about the whole thing, and be respectful of those who treat their faith and others with respect, and so on and so forth. And at the same time ... I kinda have to be a bitch, and WANT to be a bitch, because there's just some things that deserve bitchiness, like abstinence-only education and prosperity gospel and laws saying you don't have to feed your wife if she won't fuck you.

You know what I think I need for this? A six-pack, a viewing of Dogma, and a day alone with my battered needs-to-be-replaced copy of Lamb.

*

Heroine Addiction is on hold right now.

The Grand Prize Winner edit would probably be going a lot better if, you know, I'd actually open the file.

I keep meaning to open the Books of Boggs and give myself a refresher and I keep finding more important things to do like watch Practical Magic for the nine millionth time or go shopping for candy fish and pumpkin seeds.

Also, is there a book where the vampires have succeeded in turning practically every human and now the few who are left are a protected endangered species? 'Cause I feel like that should be a book already, and if it isn't I may need to add that to my massive unfinished pile of ideas. *sigh*

*

Whoever is the owner of the car alarm that's been going off for the past ten minutes -- although I'll bet it's at the car dealership -- needs to get up and go turn it off before I go do it at the end of a golf club.

Chapters of Grand Prize Winner that I've edited so far:



A lot of it right now is small continuity errors and sentence structure I hate and whatnot, but the next chapter's right about where I've got to start streamlining. I was really guilty in GPW of doing a lot of throwing-stuff-at-walls-and-seeing-what-sticks, which I have a bad habit of doing, although thankfully I seem to kept from doing too much of it in Heroine Addiction because I had way more figured out for that book at the same stage that I was while writing GPW.

But, yeah. I tend to throw a lot of loose ends into the mix and say, "I'll fix them later!" and that works ... sorta. It obviously wasn't working well with GPW, so the plan is to shave off the majority of the "Hi, I'm a clue!" moments, since so many of them turned out not to be, because I'm stupid and sometimes can't plan for shit. Cue headdesking.

On the bright side, I was only planning on getting to chapter three today, but chapter four snuck in there and out of the way, so that was nice. :)

Uh, there is none?

The creative part of my brain feels like a desert right now. Just completely barren. Absolutely nothing's been flowing lately. Consider my brain a wasteland. *headdesk*

Part of the reason I really hope that I get the warehouse job is that between the pay and the regular employment I think it'll do me a world of good in regards to my writing. Not having to worry about paying my bills or the fact that I've been making up excuses to get out of my house at this point -- I practically tripped over myself taking my parents up on their offer to go visit family in Massachusetts with them last weekend -- would be a nice change of pace. I can't believe I miss my last job a little at this point, if only because I had more social interaction and plenty of work time by myself to brainstorm, both of which helped my creativity immensely.

I tend to inadvertently tie a lot of my self-esteem into my writing, since it's the one thing I feel like I do well with any consistency, so when I'm not writing it makes me feel like shit, and that just makes things worse. The problem of putting it front and center is that I end up taking a lot of pride in people liking my stuff even though I pretty much completely shut down when people throw compliments my way and turn into the painfully shy geek I was in high school who can barely get a thankful word out even over the internet, and then when I slip into a dry spell I feel like nobody wants to be anywhere near me because, hey, who wants to waste time with her when she's not even that interesting without a pen in her hand?

Hence, longer dry spell. *sigh*

Currently, I'm struggling to squeeze out words on Heroine Addiction, which I spend a lot of time using to kick myself in the ass over by making grumbly self-deprecating comments about how it deserves a writer who's not in severe need of mental repair. I think I may need to redo my outline for the rest of the chapters in a bit more detail to get going there. Trying to edit The Grand Prize Winner is making me go cross-eyed, so I can't even imagine how blind I'd go working on Dead Men In Dark Suits or the Books of Boggs. And there's Blood Red Carpet and Chapter and Curse to work on but can't. I'd be tempted to just write time-stamp ficlets or something based on my novels just to attempt to generate something, but even that much feels like trying to squeeze blood from a stone.

The one thing I was looking forward to when I got laid off was the free time to work on my writing, and that's sort of gone directly down the toilet. So basically, the one thing that inevitably picks me up when I'm sad or depressed is letting me down. Urgh.

You know, it's times like this that I go and do stupid stuff like buy bacon-flavored gumballs. (What? They're bacon-flavored.)

I cleared up the five bajillion files story files cluttering up my desktop and documents folder and put the ones I actually need to work on into one folder titled "Shite What Needs Fixin'":

1. The Books of Boggs, aka The Ten-Book Scranton-Based Snarkfest Nobody But Me And The Agent-Shaped Person Loves, Damn It And Hmph, It's Okay, Sean Boggs, Have A Cookie And Some Porn.

2. Dead Men In Dark Suits, aka The Twilight For Grown-Ups I Started Writing In College Before I Wrote A Bajillion Fanfics And It Reads Like I Started Writing It In College Before I Wrote A Bajillion Fanfics, My God, This Thing Needs To Be Beaten With Sticks, Oh, Sweet Chocolatey Jesus.

3. Heroine Addiction, aka The Great Big Pile of Yeah, Right, A Plus-Sized Bisexual Biracial Ex-Superheroine, WTF Have You Been Smoking, And See, I Told You Fuckers I Hit 50K And Then Crack Like An Egg Under An Elephant.

4. The Hollow Girl, aka I Read Twilight And Made A List Of Shit That Made Me Want To Throw Rotten Vegetables In The General Direction Of Stephenie Meyer's House And Then I Started A Book That Didn't Have Enough Magical Game Shows Or Gay Superhero Scandals So I Wandered Off The First Time Someone Dangled Shiny Keys In My Direction.

5. Moonlight Hall, aka This One Time Someone Made A Moronic Comment On One Of My Fics About No Books Ever Having Been Written In Present Tense EVER EVER EVER So I Said HA! And Promptly Dashed Off Eighty Thousand Words Of Present-Tense College-Dorm-For-Magic-Folks Bullshit Where Every Chapter Is From A Different Character's First-Person POV And Therefore No One Can Ever Read It But Me, KTHXBI.

6. The Grand Prize Winner, aka I Thought Hey, I Like Game Shows And I Like Wizards, Two Great Tastes Taste Great Together, And Then I Wrote The Whole Thing But Admittedly Fucked Up The Ending And Now It Laughs At Me When I Sleep.

7. Blood Red Carpet, aka Oh, Right, I Started Writing A Story About Meryl Streep Fighting Evil Monsters And Never Finished, I Should Probably Do That One Of These Days.

8. Chapter And Curse, aka I Fell In Love With The Kickass Middle-Aged Hardcase From Nearly Departed But Hated The Story And Oh, Hey, I Liked The Little Girl From Up, She Should Grow Up To Fight Monsters, Too, And There Should Also Be A Bookworm/Sidekick Because I Would Like To Apply For That Position, Now I Just Need To Write The Fucker.

... it's possible I need mental help.

Heroine Addiction:



Chapters done:



I tweaked the chapters and rolled it back to 51. I may do it again with a few more chapters, but it's all the same things that'll happen, so it'll probably still end up being 120k, although I'm not changing the word count meter until I'm sure of it just in case.

EDIT: You know what's the only thing that's bugging me about this diet? I've lost four pounds and I genuinely think it's all tummy. Not that I'm complaining, mind you, because losing that little bit of belly is awesome. But I'm trying to fit back into my jeans again so, you know, I could start losing weight on my thighs and ass, that'd be nice. *sigh*

Heroine Addiction:



I'm THIS CLOSE. I think my brain just wants a nap, because mostly it's just been like, "That's it, I'm out!" for most of today. However, I will make myself tip ove the halfway point tomorrow if it KILLS me.

Heroine Addiction:



I skipped ahead two chapters and wrote the dialogue for that one. Yes, I KNOW.

I can see the halfway point from here. That's oddly disconcerting. Hmm.

Heroine Addiction:



SO.

I've been spending the past couple of days banging my head against a wall, not so much because I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going, but because I had a nice pattern going and I screwed it up by writing the dialogue for this one first so I can write the action around it. And this chapter is loooong comparatively, so that's making my brain throw a tantrum and want to stomp off.

Fuck it, next chapter I'm writing as I go like I did with previous chapters.

Heroine Addiction:



Oh, my God, this is taking forever. Writing out the dialogue first for these chapters would probably be a hell of a lot easier if I had a better idea of what was going in the middle. *sigh*

*

Random stuff:

-- I cleared off the TV stand I'm not using that's against the front windows in the living room, put Otis' favorite blanket on it, and left the window open all afternoon. From there, he gets sun, birds, and cars. He was in heaven. Heh.

-- All of the Asylum posts are reminding me why I would just not do well in that atmosphere at ALL. Wincon, I can handle. Hell, Dragoncon, I can deal with. But I have a feeling I'd spend far too much time during cons the guys are at just cringing, and not at them.

-- ( Another comment about the Britain's Got Talent finale. )

-- A camel playing with a bucket.

-- I don't think this guy can be helped any more than the lawyer does.