(no subject)

Was just contemplating the logistics of my trip back to PA for my brother's birthday. As it is, I still have to scrape together bucks for his present. He said he wants some stupid video game, so I'm probably going to get him a gift card for Electronics Boutique.

But I said I was going to get him a tattoo, and damn it, I'm going to do it. You know, it's one thing for me to go to the tattoo parlor, but it's quite another thing for me to bring my poor, defenseless, strapping six-foot-tall brother to the tattoo parlor and pay for his horrible permanent scarring. Half the fun is going to be showing my grandparents, because they don't even know I have any tattoos, so they're sure as hell going to flip out when I proudly show off the never-going-away-ever-ever-ever-EVER picture I had inked into their only grandson.

You know what's the best part of all this? I was supposed to be the good child. *cackles maniacally, then dies laughing*

And that little bastard better not have grown any taller in the last few months. Damn it, I'm the older sister. I'm not supposed to stand next to him, look up, and glare as my inner Ralphie's Father snaps, "You used up all of the tall on purpose!"

In other news, I love Sublime's "Date Rape" way too much. Also, one of these days, I so need to make a Kaylee icon that says some variation of "Look, they have boywhores! Isn't that thoughtful?" 'Cause that's totally my personality, but that line ... *dies*

(no subject)

Oh. Holy. Fuck.

This morning's algebra lesson

If a million monkeys with a million typewriters can pound out Shakespeare, and the inverse is true, one monkey pounding his face repeatedly into the keyboard can eventually churn out scripts for Ben Affleck movies to the tune of any random Celine Dion song.

********

Don't mind this post. Some Bush-friendly asshat on antiwar posted a monstrously humongoid article that's screwing up my friends list and I'm trying to move it off the first page. *eye roll*

Look, you can have people sent to their death in a bullshit war, totally fuck up the economy and the environment, and publicly display youself as a bigoted religious zealot, but allow your loonier flunkies to mess with my friends list setup and learn why I call it The Land That Sanity Forgot.

EDIT: HA! The asshat's journal's been suspended. *points and laughs*

(no subject)

Former employees of Whole Foods Market have sued the natural foods supermarket operator, saying it did not take proper action to prevent a male customer from parading through a Santa Fe store wearing white, see-through biking shorts with no underwear.

*dies laughing until hyperventilation sets in*

You know what I would have done? Just followed him around, as innocently and blatantly as possible. Then, when he got annoyed and asked me why I was following him, I'd just point at his crotch and giggle and loudly say in a very cheerful voice, "I can see your penis!"

This is why I have never been offered a job in supermarket management.

(no subject)

*pokes teeny jelly belly* Um, damn. I need to start doing stomach crunches again.

And I just got my taxes done. Yay, I'm a horrible little procrastinator! Admittedly, a horrible little procrastinator the government owes 442 bucks, but still, bad me!

When it came time for the "Would you like to donate $3 to the Presidential Election Campaign Fund?" question, I could not press the "no" option fast enough or often enough. I kept expecting the computer voice to stop in the middle of a programmed question and say, "All right, fine! I get it! How about this -- I can get you directions to a dirty basement apartment where a man named Guido is collecting funds to dispose of --" Followed almost immediately by a strangling noise, a long silence, and another, more sedate voice saying, "Hello, Mr. Anderson ... er, Miss. Care to finish your tax return before the apocalypse?"

*contemplates that* Um, Hugo Weaving and the apocalypse? Where do I get the phone number for that Telefile? *puppy-dog eyes*

(no subject)

You want to know how bored I am? I'm thinking of putting together another Pairing List That Ate Fandom.

*sighs*

I should, though. Just reading the list kills my writer's block dead. And, er, I'm chock full of writer's block today.

Aw, jeez. I'm talking myself into it. *runs and hides under the couch*

EDIT: You realize, of course, that I have that episode of "Premiere" magazine with the 100 Greatest Movie Characters just lying around. That could make this round reeeeally interesting.

You know, if I do it.

...

Damn it.

Okay, here we go again.

It's time for yet another round of the Pairing List That Ate Fandom. Since I've already done this once, twice, and then again, this would be Round Four. You know, just in case you're counting.

( Click here for slightly tweaked rules, vast amusement, and cross-fandom pairings that'll make your eyes bleed and bring forth the hounds of Hell! )

(no subject)

Here's where to post the links to your Pairing List That Ate Fandom stories.

This way, I'll have them all in one place.

GIP!

Because I needed a Kaylee icon and an "evil genius" icon, so ... uh, yeah.

EDIT: WTF?! *pokes icon with a sharp stick*