Oh, gee whiz. THANKS.

Me: So it's my birthday and I got cake, and some money, and six months of Netflix, and a gift certificate for groceries. I wonder if I'll get anything else.
Mother Nature: Oh, uh, hey. I almost forgot. I know, I know, it's a week early, but here ... have your period.
Me: ... you don't really get this whole gift-giving thing, do you?
Mother Nature: Yeah, I don't have a lot of girlfriends.
Me: Boy, I wonder why.
Mother Nature: It's a mystery.
Me: You couldn't just blow something up for me?
Mother Nature: Oh, shut up.

*

Is anybody else reading the Houses of Night series?

( Spoilery complaining )