Less than a week, you guys!

The commander in chief's priority is preventing another terrorist attack in the United States, President Bush told CNN's "Larry King Live" Tuesday. ANOTHER. See, the good thing is that you're allowed to let one slip by -- you know, for shits and giggles.

The Greatest Greatness of George W. Bush -- From a certain perspective, one could argue that you have been the most successful president the country has ever seen. Think about it, because according to your definition of "success," it's true. You came into office looking to make your friends richer, and to fulfill as best you could your most overriding personal belief: that government is the problem, so government must be damaged and denuded to the point of impotence. Through your tax cuts and your two vastly expensive boondoggle wars, you made your friends rich. By unleashing Mr. Cheney and your other minions, you tore the Constitution to shreds and tatters. You have achieved both goals in smashing style, so from that certain perspective, you have triumphed.

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I have so much crap I have to do today it's annoying. I have work tomorrow and stuff I want to write and I really don't want to deal with this crap. Yuck.

Is it wrong ...

... that I'm this excited I got a new vacuum?

But ... but ... but the one I've had since I moved in is a hand-me-down from my parents, see, so it had already been straining to suck up at least six cats worth of pet hair at a time for YEARS, and it's heavy and awkward so I can't really vacuum the steps going downstairs without annoying amounts of effort, plus I bought this cheap Swiffer knockoff so I could clean the hardwood in the living room and the linoleum in the bathroom and it does a shitty job no matter what ...

BUT!

I stopped at Wal-Mart for vacuum cleaner bags -- okay, whatever, I went three other places first and couldn't find the ones I wanted -- and they had a lightweight one that works on floors AND carpets for only thirty bucks. I had to, damn it! It's wee! It's cute! It's like six pounds!

*bounces up and down happily*

I really shouldn't be this thrilled considering how much I hate vacuuming. Heh.

What we've learned from my parents coming to visit the pets ...

1. Otis can be distracted from anyone with his string toy.
2. Dexter likes me in at least one way! He refused to take a dandelion drop from my dad but couldn't take it from me fast enough.
3. The chinchillas desire the attention of visitors more than Otis does, at least for tonight.
4. When I tell my parents they can come, I should probably plan my dinner prep better so I'm not shoveling mac and cheese into my mouth while they're here so it won't go cold and gross on me.

Aw, crap.

I got a mandated layoff for this week of work.

This is my waiting week. I can file for it but I won't get paid.

... fuck me.

In which I quietly worry.

( Here is a hilarious NSFW video that's making me feel better. )

I should be okay with my bills. I think. Maybe. Let's see how my teeth end up turning out. I wish my tax stuff would get here so I could get that out of the way. Aaaand the college loan people will probably take that. And then there's the bonus at work, which, hey, I'll bet we don't get this year. And then there's the pay-for-performance bonus for the last half of the year which, HEY, it'd be just my luck if I didn't get it this half.

I'm going to turn into one of those crazy ladies who buys Powerball tickets and starts researching how much yachts are before the numbers are pulled, aren't I? Except I don't want a yacht. What would I buy with $146 million? God, right now I could just go for a root beer float. Okay, first I'll buy a root beer float, and then I'll pay the rest of the money to Jared and Jensen so they'll make out. If they're not already making out.

... well, I think we've firmly established that my brain is already on layoff.

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Dear Top Chef promos,

I am not, in fact, waiting for Restaurant Wars. I wait for the relay race. That's the shit that makes my season. GIMME.

Sincerely,

Me

P.S. Hosea and Leah have moved from slightly cute to "okay, you're creeping me out, don't you two have SOs, stop touching, EW."