BOOM.

Go nominate fandoms for Apocalyptothon.

Remember, you don't actually have to be planning to write for apocalyptothon to vote for fandoms. You can just stick it to those of us who are planning to write. ;)

Perhaps I should leave the house more often.

I stopped up my parents' place to pick up cat food just now and found out that my dad narrowly avoided being squished by one of those pre-fab trailers at work the other day, my brother got the warehouse job he'd been hoping to get (he starts tomorrow), and my mom's cousin is leaving her husband of thirty years.

Um, I think I need to get out more.

Uh ...

... am I the only one kinda casually voting in the Fandom Steel Cage Match for whomever strikes my fancy more, black or white or guy or girl or good or evil or whatever, as opposed to voting for A Cause*, whatever that cause may be?

Not that I'm complaining, mind you. You'll notice I'm also not stumping for anyone, either, but then again I've got an apartment I still have to finish cleaning and three novels that need working on, so that sorta takes priority over the internet poll.**

* A Cause, so far, seeming to include anything from Anybody But Dean to Vote For Boobs to I Only Vote For People Who Can Physically Kick More Ass.

** I'm also wearing a pair of size ten jeans right now instead of my size twelves. That's WAY more important than the internet poll.

I'm checking Oscar dresses as I finish cleaning my apartment.

Anna Kendrick -- It may be a little TOO pale because it does come very close to her own skin tone in pictures, but other than that the rest of it's so gorgeous I'm willing to handwave. She looks ethereal.

Vera Farmiga -- Wow. That is a LOT of dress. And ALL of the ruffles.

Amanda Seyfried -- Stunning.

Mo'Nique -- I'm really not incredibly impressed about anything but the color, but she always looks like she and her husband are having such fun at these things I barely ever notice her dresses anyway.

Virginia Madsen -- Eh.

Deborah Ann Woll (why is Jessica from "True Blood" there again?) -- Something about the fit of the dress is wrong to me. And I think the slit's too high. And it looks like the entire thing needs someone to grab onto the bodice and yank it up. And she needs a necklace. Otherwise, she looks really nice.

Stana Katic -- No idea why she's there either, but holy crap, she's beautiful.

Sam Worthington -- Oh, honey. It's the Oscars. Shave.

Zoe Saldana -- I take back Sam's "Oh, honey," and give Zoe an, "Oh, honey, no." It looks like the losing entry in the make-stuff-from-the-trendy-decorations-in-your-Atlas-apartment challenge on "Project Runway." Look, there's some bathmats, and a shower curtain, and a sparkly lampshade ...

Nicole Richie -- HUMMINA.

Suzy Amis -- Meh.

More Oscar dresses

Sandra Bullock -- I usually have this thing against women with their hair down at the Oscars, mostly because so many do it wrong, but Sandra looks fantastic tonight. Hair down, vibrant lipstick, gold dress. Veeery nice.

Carey Mulligan -- Oh, no, that is way too heavy a dress for a light little thing like she is.

Sigourney Weaver -- Good Lord, that woman is a pile of sex. There are actresses in their early twenties who never look as good as she always does.

Mariah Carey -- Meh. She tried to dress seriously and like herself all at once and I don't really think it works.

Miley Cyrus (Oh, for God's sake, Academy, young people are not going to watch just for Miley Cyrus presenting Best Sound Editing or whatever, seriously) -- You know, the picture I'm looking at ... the dress looks like if someone on PR had to red-carpet Madonna's "Like A Virgin" dress and did a fairly nice job, but then her posture's terrible and her hair's got that hideous windswept thing going on and it doesn't do anything for the dress.

Maggie Gyllenhaal -- You know what? It's a simple column dress, and I feel like she's the only one who could pull off that pattern. I just wish her hair was a little more sleek, but for her it's above her usual standards.

Diane Kruger -- She is going to get so many "shredded toilet paper" comments at GFY.

Elizabeth Banks -- She looks phenomenal.

And now she's probably going to win an Oscar for playing my mom.

I'm watching the Barbara Walters interview with Sandra Bullock and ... okay, look, I want Gabourey Sidibe to win because I love a good upset and I believe she's earned it, but Sandra Bullock gives off every indication that I would have SO MUCH FUN hanging out with her.

Also, her hair's so pretty.

EDIT: And there was this exchange ...

Barbara: You and Meryl Streep have had a competition throughout this awards season. What will you do if she wins tonight?
Sandra: *solemnly* I'm going to beat the shit out of her.

Oscar pre-show

Apparently Kathy Ireland is hosting this with her boobs. Seriously, what the hell is that thing she was doing with her chest?

JAKE GYLLENHAAL OM NOM NOM.

Aw, Sandra. Where's Jesse?

No, seriously, what is Kathy Ireland doing with her shoulders?

Oh, my God, I completely forgot Katherine and Russell are supposed to dance tonight! \o/

I really want to sit down and watch Invictus.

Helen Mirren is hot as hell.

All Kathy Ireland is doing tonight is reminding me that Alien In L.A. was a terrible, terrible movie.

Jennifer Lopez's dress is, uh, a bit much.

Oh, Sarah Jessica Parker, I really don't like that dress or your hair and Matthew Broderick looks so damn old.

Cameron Diaz's dress is gorgeous.

I have absolutely no desire to see Remember Me, but finding out when and where it's set almost makes me want to go anyway. Almost.

Okay, I've just started muting Kathy Ireland when it gets to her turn.

Aaaand now I've started doing it with Sherri Shepard.

Hi, Kristen Stewart! You look about as excited to be where you are as usual.

Goddamn it, Kathy's interviewing Gabby Sidibe so now I have to listen to Kathy's irritating voice. But YAY! Gabby's dress is so pretty! It's deep blue with silver birds and I love it!

"The most popular werewolf in motion picture history" -- Are you effing serious, Sherri Shepard? You're really going to say that about Taylor Lautner? REALLY?

GABBY I LOVE YOU.

So they open the show by introducing the best actor and actress nominees and when they get to Gabby she is clearly savoring every fucking moment.

I love her so much. :D

OMG THAT JIMMY KIMMEL COMMERCIAL. BWAHAHAHA.

( Best Supporting Actor, Animated Film, Original Song )

Are you effing kidding me?!

My great-aunt just called at ten o'clock on a Sunday night - during the fucking Oscars - WHILE MO'NIQUE WAS ACCEPTING HER AWARD - to ask me how to set up a Facebook account.

... SERIOUSLY?!

Oh, for crying out loud.

Dear Academy,

Twilight clips do not belong in a horror montage.

Yes, I know there are vampires and werewolves in it. STILL.

EDIT: As an aside, it is completely unsettling to see Eli Roth at the Academy Awards. It makes me terrified his shitty movies were nominated for something and no one warned me.

You guys.

Colin Farrell is spinning a slash story between him and Jeremy Renner from the stage at the Academy Awards.

No, no, Colin, keep talking. What? Don't go! I want to hear more about the spooning!

EDIT: Aaaaand now Sandra's mentioning that Meryl Streep is a good kisser. This is one slashy damn Oscars.

YES.

FIRST FEMALE ACADEMY-AWARD WINNING DIRECTOR, FUCK YEAH.

EDIT: OMG, the looks on the boys' faces as they look down at Kathryn. *hearts*