It's almost eight in the morning. I need to write. Gyah.

[apocalypsos]

I think I'll take over the planet. I may need minions for this.

Anybody want to be a minion? The dental plan sucks and you're sort of expendable, but if you bring something special to the table, you get your own country full of cowering humans to torture and command.

Hmm. If I'm going to be a dictator, I'm going to need an infinitely uglier haircut.

Comments

[zephiey.livejournal.com]

I'll be a minion but I must insist that I be given life insurance with a dismemberment/fed to carnivores codicil effective immediately upon employment. I don't want to worry about being blown apart, ripped apart, or fed to anything with teeth larger than mine.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I see. *checks job list* Can you do bookkeeping? How about accountancy? You know, I could use a sniveling yes-man. They don't get eaten much.

[thornsilver]

No, they just get shot by Evil Overlords in a fit of pique, when they can't get their hands on the Hero, or the Minion in charge of the latest fuck-up.

[zephiey.livejournal.com]

Why yes, I do bookkeeping and accounting. Payroll too. I snivel very nicely, if I do say so myself. I am fabulous at bowing and scraping and my last tyrant even presented me with a lovely certificate for boot-licking. He said he has never seen such grace, poise and stamina.

I do have one request though. I simply must have every second Tuesday off for mother's hair, manicure and facial appointment. It takes time to spackle all that mud on her not to mention how long it takes to scrape it back off. It's an all day affair and harrowing on my nerves. I never know if they are going to scrape off her nose by accident.