apocalypsos: (kaylee)
[personal profile] apocalypsos
I think I'll take over the planet. I may need minions for this.

Anybody want to be a minion? The dental plan sucks and you're sort of expendable, but if you bring something special to the table, you get your own country full of cowering humans to torture and command.

Hmm. If I'm going to be a dictator, I'm going to need an infinitely uglier haircut.

Date: 2004-09-02 04:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rani23.livejournal.com
I'll be a minion!!

Date: 2004-09-02 04:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] taiste.livejournal.com
Sorry. I totally need dental.

Date: 2004-09-02 04:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bibliotech.livejournal.com
You're not giving away those lame countries that no one's ever heard of, right? The ones that are mostly populated by monkeys, with names like Afew98ugafwelkjtizthan?

Date: 2004-09-02 04:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apocalypsos.livejournal.com
Hey, don't knock countries mostly populated by monkeys. Their ancestors have given us such great Americans as Bonzo, Lancelot Link, and Marcel.

Date: 2004-09-02 05:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bibliotech.livejournal.com
See, that's why you're the Evil Overlord, and I'm just a minion. Thinking like that.

Date: 2004-09-02 05:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/___destijl/
*raises hand* Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!

Date: 2004-09-02 05:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muffytaj.livejournal.com
I'll be a minion only if you promise to read this and abide by it. It is God. A must for all evil overlords.

The minions will all be given sexy man/woman slaves, I take it?

Date: 2004-09-02 05:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apocalypsos.livejournal.com
But of course, on both counts. We shall follow the list to the letter, and enslave all the pretty people for our own pleasure. YES. *cackles maniacally*

Date: 2004-09-02 05:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muffytaj.livejournal.com
Yay!

I think I shall like being a minion. Or perhaps I can be the smut writer, employed to keep the people quiet - because who would complain against a regiem that gives them free porn?

Date: 2004-09-02 05:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zephiey.livejournal.com
I'll be a minion but I must insist that I be given life insurance with a dismemberment/fed to carnivores codicil effective immediately upon employment. I don't want to worry about being blown apart, ripped apart, or fed to anything with teeth larger than mine.

Date: 2004-09-02 05:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apocalypsos.livejournal.com
I see. *checks job list* Can you do bookkeeping? How about accountancy? You know, I could use a sniveling yes-man. They don't get eaten much.

Date: 2004-09-02 05:19 am (UTC)
thornsilver: (aya from tritorella)
From: [personal profile] thornsilver
No, they just get shot by Evil Overlords in a fit of pique, when they can't get their hands on the Hero, or the Minion in charge of the latest fuck-up.

Date: 2004-09-02 08:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zephiey.livejournal.com
Why yes, I do bookkeeping and accounting. Payroll too. I snivel very nicely, if I do say so myself. I am fabulous at bowing and scraping and my last tyrant even presented me with a lovely certificate for boot-licking. He said he has never seen such grace, poise and stamina.

I do have one request though. I simply must have every second Tuesday off for mother's hair, manicure and facial appointment. It takes time to spackle all that mud on her not to mention how long it takes to scrape it back off. It's an all day affair and harrowing on my nerves. I never know if they are going to scrape off her nose by accident.

Date: 2004-09-02 05:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] torificus.livejournal.com
*signs up to be the Rival*

Y'see, *I* already have minions. I've even signed up a PR guy, just to convince everyone how much good I'm really doing them.

Date: 2004-09-02 05:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apocalypsos.livejournal.com
*sniff* Hmph. I don't lie to MY minions. I just vaguely mislead them. But I have endless amounts of cheesecake, which helps.

Date: 2004-09-02 05:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] torificus.livejournal.com
Ah, but do you have a High Priest yet? I've noticed you have the porn side covered, so you've got me there, though...

Date: 2004-09-02 05:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apocalypsos.livejournal.com
Have one? I am one! What do I need a spare for when I can call up the dark forces all on my own?

Date: 2004-09-02 05:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] torificus.livejournal.com
I've worked out my Master Plot, too. It involves rigging the presidency so not Bush I get it, and then making all sorts of laws where pretty boys have to travel in pairs...for safety... and hold hands a lot. *decisive nod*

Date: 2004-09-02 06:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dodyskin.livejournal.com

Anybody want to be a minion? The dental plan sucks and you're sort of expendable, but if you bring something special to the table, you get your own country full of cowering humans to torture and command.


Hmm, kind of sounds like being English.

Date: 2004-09-02 06:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vivian-shaw.livejournal.com
Unfortunately I'm already in the early stages of my hostile takeover bid, and am collecting minions of my own, but I will be happy to sign a détente agreement with you in order to prevent pointless hostilities further down the line.

Date: 2004-09-02 06:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] canthlian.livejournal.com
Hmm. If I'm going to be a dictator, I'm going to need an infinitely uglier haircut.

And a moustache! All evil dictators HAVE to have a moustache.

Date: 2004-09-02 06:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dom-intel.livejournal.com
Oooh! I'll be a minion!

Date: 2004-09-02 06:47 am (UTC)
akacat: A cute cat holding a computer mice by the cord. (Boo kitty by lanning)
From: [personal profile] akacat
Anybody want to be a minion?

Why not? I'm not minioning for anyone else right now. Plus, I have dental from my day job.

I have the ability to control cats. Well, technically it's more of a 'negotiate for mutual interests' thing. But they do end up doing what I want them to do. As long as it doesn't involve walking on a leash.

Do you think you can use that? (And yes, it works on any size cat.)

Date: 2004-09-02 07:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hereticorp.livejournal.com
I want to be the evil overlord. You can be the dictator. =P

Date: 2004-09-02 07:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rowanberries.livejournal.com
I'll be aromatherapist - which is kind of nasal torture, if you get it wrong. I'll get it wrong! Can I be obscure-methods-of-torture... torturer?

I don't need dental. We know one. :)

Date: 2004-09-02 07:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rowanberries.livejournal.com
Er... a dentist, that is. Not a dental, whatever that is. (That is, that is... that is.)

*tired*

Date: 2004-09-02 08:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gehayi.livejournal.com
And you can have your very own theme song. "Dentist" from Little Shop of Horrors.

Date: 2004-09-02 07:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fallofrain.livejournal.com
Add me to the minion list, please. I think you already know what my talents are for villainry.

Date: 2004-09-02 07:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] opportunemoment.livejournal.com
Ooh, I will minion for you! I have many irreplacable talents...
(please master don't throw me to the crocodiles...)

Date: 2004-09-02 07:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tenebris.livejournal.com
Lesse...grad. student in obscure field...sure, minionhood would be a nice fall back position. I also volunteer to dust the piano, provided I don't have to wear anything French Maidish, and I get a real feather duster. :)

Date: 2004-09-02 08:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aliaspiral.livejournal.com
do you mind if i work 2 jobs? im already a minion for [livejournal.com profile] sirkpega, but it shouldnt interfere with my ability to minion for you. i very good at multitasking. would you like to see my resume?

and im a high school special ed teacher, so i can inflict obnoxious evil children on your enemies!

Date: 2004-09-02 08:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gruyere.livejournal.com
I'll minionize...can I be the Minister of Minor Theatrics?

Date: 2004-09-02 08:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gehayi.livejournal.com
I can be your evil legal expert. And you can continue with your takeovers but they will all be completely legal. Which will drive the heroes to utter despair, as heroes have this weird notion that what is legal is also fair and just.

Date: 2004-09-02 09:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] teleute12.livejournal.com
I want to be a minion! I'll be the person in charge of reading the smut. Quality control, you understand.

Date: 2004-09-02 09:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wal-lace.livejournal.com
I'm sorry, but my long-term goals involve elevating myself to the status of Living God-King of Humanity.

Tell you what. You can aim for Galactic Domination, and I'll help you get there in exchange for power over all mortal men (and women), save for a select - Let's say one million - that you get to take away for your own evil ends.

Date: 2004-09-02 10:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silverhill.livejournal.com
I want to be a minion -- but only if I get to wear a really cool costume and kick-ass boots.

Date: 2004-09-02 01:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] digitalmeowmix2.livejournal.com
ill be a minion if i
get a a cool costume and a pet panther!

Date: 2004-09-02 03:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ampersand.livejournal.com
I want to be a minion. Can I wear rubber and carry a whip?

Date: 2004-09-02 04:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wal-lace.livejournal.com
According to the Bad Guy code, only Lackeys get whips. If you're a minion, you're limited to a sword, although it can be as big and ugly as you like.

On the other tentacle, I don't think [livejournal.com profile] trollprincess has recruited any actual Lackeys yet. She'll need someone to blame when her Minions screw up, so if you get your application in early, you probably stand a good chance.

Oo! Oo! Me! Pick Me!

Date: 2004-09-02 05:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] worldwalkerpure.livejournal.com
Code Name: Worldwalker Pure
Special Skills: I might be a cannibal. We're not completly sure.

Plus, as a minion, I make a great throw rug. Adds ambience to your secret layer. I'm also not entirely sane, always a bonus when you're promoting minions to trusted liutenants.

Date: 2004-09-03 01:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misshallelujah.livejournal.com
*handraise* I offer to do the ugly haircut. I'll be the Maintainer of Ugly Haircut Minion! It's a specialty of mine, see!

Date: 2004-09-03 07:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] katiger.livejournal.com
I volunteer to be the minion that gets killed and makes everyone in the audience exclaim "Dude! WTF!?". Oooh! Can I be the Propaganda Minister? That way I can look all sinister like and I can make people believe that you would make an awesome Overlord and that the should follow your every command. It'll be fun! Until my untimely death of course but whats a Propaganda Minister without an untimely death?

Date: 2004-09-04 07:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gwen-louise.livejournal.com
I'll be a minion. I have lots of experience in hierachael structures which are blatantly unfair. We organised one in our school library.

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