A quickie rant ...

[apocalypsos]

... for shemchadash before I have to work.

Yeah, I'm a virgin. What of it? *growls*

Okay, seriously. Most people are pretty much "Oh, that's so commendable" about it, and nearly all of them really aren't mentally finishing that statement with, "... you big pathetic loser." (Which is nice of them.) But it's the occasional "Why?" that drives me nuts.

Dude, "Why"?! Because I haven't found a guy I'm willing to nail who's willing to nail me right back. Because I really just lock myself in my room constantly by choice and not because I'm eternally broke and I never ever go out and when I sense male pheremones in the air, I run screaming in the opposite direction flailing my arms in the air and go scrub my entire body with the nearest wire brush. Because I want the nun lifestyle without the lame fashion sense. Because I have a severe allergy to pregnancy scares and STD frights and I know where all the good porn is on the Internet.

Take your pick. Grrr.

Comments

[anitac588.livejournal.com]

OK; I know where all the good porn is on the Internet that would be mine.

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

Hee! Love your icon.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

last time you answered with "because i have no nekkid *sorryforgotnamewascoolguysubstitutedomfornow*"

[palmetto.livejournal.com]

Because I haven't found a guy I'm willing to nail who's willing to nail me right back.

And there's the reason I was a virgin until the age of 23. Nothing really commendable, just lack of opportunity.

[anne-jumps.livejournal.com]

Same with me.

[robyn-ma.livejournal.com]

If not for the not-really-being-into-chicks thing (from what I've gathered), you'd make a fine lesbian. :) And you'd be chic!

[diannelamerc.livejournal.com]

Still, that leaves you with the "Because I haven't found a *girl* I'm willing to nail who's willing to nail me right back." issue.
Trust me. :-p

[ngaio]

Believe it or not I was reading a really cool site on celibacy yesterday and those are all good reasons which people quoted. (that's *not* patronising) Personally, I see nothing odd in it, in fact if I weren't married I'd be quite happily celibate and bugger everyone else everyone else can just sod off go away.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

can you link me to it? i was intrigued searching the net for celibacy a few months ago and hitting a real void. there were only a few self-help groups. a real taboo!

[dorei.livejournal.com]

A friend of mine did "everything but" until she was 23 or so because she was afraid of the whole pregnancy thing and she wanted to be graduated from college, just in case.

She got over that though. At least, I sure hope she did. Otherwise her husband will be kind of upset by now.

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

A friend of mine did "everything but" until she was 23 or so because she was afraid of the whole pregnancy thing

::snort:: One of my college suitemates was a pregnant virgin. Doing "everything but" doesn't necessarily mean you've ducked pregnancy issues - cause sperm can travel (like on a fingertip, for example.)

[bibliotech.livejournal.com]

Man, in my hillbilly school, I got flack for being a virgin until I was 18. Not jumping into bed straightaway obviously means you have omgseriousissues. For me, it was 'severe allergy to pregnancy scares and STDs'. Oh, and boys have cooties. A lot.

[diannelamerc.livejournal.com]

"Hillbilly", nothing. I went to an exclusive private Catholic girl's HS in Los Angeles and started getting flack at 16. I knew *no one* who would admit to still being a virgin when they graduated (including me!).

Kids are stupid all over.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

Surely the correct answer is "because I *can*"? I find it works in all these situations. I'm no a virgin, used to be a giant slut, in fact, am now in a monogamous relationship and DON'T HAVE SEX because I DON'T WANT TO. Try crowbarring that into the heads of a community obsessed with what they look like in bed, and there you have why I find my social life so unappealing. ;)

Also, I got flack for being a virgin at 13. THIRTEEN. Insane.

[jitterbugparfum.livejournal.com]

Virginity is the new gay! Everyone's not doing it.

Can I ask--what are people supposed to say? I don't mean that to sound as snotty as it probably does. Every so often someone will tell me that he or she is still a virgin, and while I know enough not to say, "Good for you!" or "REALLY? WHY?" I never know what I *can* say....

[prairiedaun.livejournal.com]

May I metaquotes this?

[jrosestar.livejournal.com]

I made the mistake of having sex for just the sake of having sex...finding out what all the bells and whistles were about. Unfortunately having sex with the wrong person doesn't give you the bells and whistles.

I think it's great that you are waiting for the right time and person. It's so much better when you're doing it because you WANT to, NOT because you're expected to.

[orbitaldiamonds.livejournal.com]

Yes. DO wait for The One because otherwise you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Speaking from personal experience here, and it was only a week and a half before my 20th birthday that I did it, and I'd do just about anything to go back in time and say no.

[dragonsinger.livejournal.com]

*Nods* I agree with some of it, only I haven't found a guy I want to nail yet. Dragonboyfriend is the closest one.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I found a British exchange student I gladly would have nailed in college and a very sweet guy I worked with at a telemarketing place I would have slept with in a heartbeat, but they both went back to their respective hometowns before I could. (Bastards.)

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

Well, if you wanted to be a smartass, you could answer, "I'm hoping to give birth to the next Savior."

Personally? I'd have 'sploded if I'd had to wait. Messily. I'm sure the mental image was TMI, sorry.

But I'm not everybody - what worked (or didn't) for me might not work for anybody else.

And frankly, it ain't nobody's damn business but yours. Next time somebody asks "why?", ask them "Why'd your Momma raise you in a barn?"

[diannelamerc.livejournal.com]

Well, if you wanted to be a smartass, you could answer, "I'm hoping to give birth to the next Savior."

ROTFL! I love it! Damn, why didn't I have that one in HS when I needed it most? (Then again, I'd never have had the guts to use it in HS anyway :)

[azurelunatic]

And now that I'm not jumping on people left and right and am deciding that right now I can afford to keep it in my pants for a year to try and see wtf is up with Darkside, anyway, and see if keeping it in my pants is going to help him wake up and smell the pheremones, people are strongly implying if not telling me that I need to jump the random guys I get the hots for regardless of whether they're good relationship prospects.

[ladysorka]

I also enjoy telling people "Because the demons don't let the unpure talk to them." or "I have a unicorn fetish."

I mean, dude. I'm a virgin. I don't understand how it's anyone else's business anyway.

[ewacat.livejournal.com]

"I have a unicorn fetish."

I must have that excuse. "My standards are too high for puny mortals" just doesn't have the same ring to it...

[akacat]

a severe allergy to pregnancy scares

Oh yeah. That'd be why I was a virgin until I married (age 21, and boy was *that* a stupid move). And if this was a fair world, would requalify for virginity since the divorce of husband #2.

Luckily I'm just barely old enough that pregnancy was scarier than STDs, or I probably wouldn't have ever married!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hey, you too? And I'm 26. And yeah, it's mostly that I've never been with someone I liked enough (and the person I *do* like enough, with time, isn't here). I dunno--I like to think of myself as the Virgin Queen. ; )

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I've had one I would have slept with if we'd gone out long enough. He was awfully sweet.

[ewacat.livejournal.com]

I'm lucky. No flack whatsoever.

Although, granted, with me the whole virgin thing is from the sheer lack of opportunity. I have yet to find a potential mate with an acceptable level of snark and beauty, which basically proves the point that humanity sucks.

[cornfields.livejournal.com]

The internet is for porn. (http://s13.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=3M5OR8IAAHD7J1DYKN0D01FMX5)

[sabra-n.livejournal.com]

Damn straight!

-blue

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

Oh, Lord, do people really follow up the "Good for you" with a mental "you big loser"? Idiots, if they do. Damn, I wish I'd waited until I'd gotten married; it would have saved me a *lot* of heartbreak. I honestly admire anyone who waits, because it's not easy to wait, as some of the posters above pointed out.

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

I wish I'd waited until I'd gotten married; it would have saved me a *lot* of heartbreak.

::grimace:: I'm so glad I didn't. How much would bleeding like a stuck pig on my wedding night have sucked?

On the other hand, waiting till I had my own dorm room at college would have been soooo much nicer than the back seat of that Toyota.

I honestly admire anyone who waits

I really don't think it's something that's worthy of admiration (or condemnation, for that matter). ::shrug:: It's just a matter of personal choice; not having sex is no more laudable than choosing not to eat lunch right this second. The thing that gets me is that people feel free to comment on it, or pry, even though it's not their business.

[calieber.livejournal.com]

Do people who don't want to have sex with you really need to know your reasons? I, for one, being in a relationship and in any case not actually knowing you, have no immediate need to counter such objections as you may have.

(Breezed in from metaquotes. Hi there!)

[welfy.livejournal.com]

I'm a 22 year-old virgin. With a boyfriend. Yeah, that REALLY confuses people. But you know, I don't want to have sex, mostly for a lot of the reasons you mention above. ESPECIALLY the pregnancy scares.

It also seems like the women I know who have sex are always getting UTIs.

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

It also seems like the women I know who have sex are always getting UTIs.

That can be avoided by employing a little less roughness on the rubbing (you can also contract them through over-vigorous masturbation.) Just fyi.

[rattyfleef.livejournal.com]

Seconded! I just tell everyone my mother sprayed me with Man Repellent.

What really gets my goat up, though, is my ultra Christian grandmother who believes I'll be virgin till I marry et al. Lady, that isn't the reason! If I loved and wanted a guy who a)loved and wanted me back b)was an honorable fellow who believed in monogamy and birth control and c) was disease free we'd be at it like fuzzy little weasels!

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Exactly. And I understand why people have asked me, "Is it for religious reasons?", but it's still annoying. Next time, I should say, "Yes, I can't find a guy who wants to join a pagan orgy outdoors under a full moon," just to be an ass.

[juleskicks.livejournal.com]

YES! *airfives you* OMG yes!

Twenty-year-old virgin here. So, yes. Luckily, my friends are not dicks about it, which is nice.

[dawning-star.livejournal.com]

I haven't found a guy I trust enough. *shrug* Porn does it for me.

[phillyexpat.livejournal.com]

I've only been with one person at the ripe old age of 27, and now that I've gotten that one shot out of the way (FYI, I was 25 going on 26-I had played around with plenty of guys, just never had actual intercourse until then), I'm frankly ready for just frank, recreational sex. Why? Because I enjoy it and I'm too cheap to join a gym. I'm not going up to hold a sign saying "Open to all takers," mind you, but now that I've had sex, I kind of want to have it a lot more than when I was a virgin.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

My cousin once told me that when I finally had sex, I'd become a nymphomaniac. I was like, "Dude, I'm a nymphomaniac now. I'm just not actually having all of the sex that goes along with it."