(no subject)

[apocalypsos]

Vampires are usually her passion, but Anne Rice is getting biblical in her next book, due out in November from publisher Random House. "Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt" will tell the story of Jesus' early years in his own words.

"I'm not a priest," Rice also writes in the letter. "I can't be one. I'll never be able to go to the altar of the Lord and say the words of consecration at Mass, `This is my body. This is my blood.' No, I can't work that magnificent Eucharistic miracle. But in humility, I have attempted something transformative which we writers dare to call a miracle in the imperfect human idiom we possess. It's to bring Him here in the form a story, and that story is Christ The Lord."

BWAHAHAHAHAHA. I think if she's going to be blasphemous, she should go all out and do it in diary form. "Dear Diary, today I found out my father is God. If Mom thinks I'm cleaning my room after this, she's out of her goddamn fucking mind."

Comments

[titti]

Mary Sue Bible fanfic. Mark another one for Anne Rice.

[marag.livejournal.com]

To me, the best part is trying to fit the words "in humility" into the same sentence as "Anne Rice." ::snerk::

All the other jokes are just too easy, so I can't be bothered to make them.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

To me, the best part is trying to fit the words "in humility" into the same sentence as "Anne Rice." ::snerk::

You and me both.

[isabeau.livejournal.com]

Vampires are usually her passion, but Anne Rice is getting biblical

Hey, maybe she'll combine them -- Jesus Christ the vampire! (And that's why she can do it "in his own words", because he's still around in vampire form and can *tell* her.)

</blasphemy>

[ardath_rekha]

So then the bible got it wrong, and he had to wait until sunset on Easter to leave the tomb?

[joshghiloni.livejournal.com]

You're batty. Jesus isn't a vampire -- He fights them (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0311361/).

[paradise-city.livejournal.com]

Oh, come on. Are you telling me someone hasn't VSDed Jesus yet?

::waits impatiently::

[daromaius.livejournal.com]

I just did, over at Metaquotes. I shall soon begin my meta-meta quest for domination.

[glitterdemon.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAbdqeurbgiwqehbgwie

[jim-smith.livejournal.com]

I'll never be able to go to the altar of the Lord and say the words of consecration at Mass, `This is my body. This is my blood.' No, I can't work that magnificent Eucharistic miracle.

Someone explain to me why Catholics get so hung up on how wafers can literally be the body of Christ? I mean, does "it's a metaphor" not cut it?

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Speaking as a former Catholic, I don't know about anybody else, but the only reason I did it was the sick little giggle I got from the cannibalistic references.

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

It's called transubstantiation, and it refers to Jesus's spirit being present in the Eucharist, so that the wafers are both ordinary bread and blessed at the same time. It's an old traditional belief in Christianity, going back to around the time of Augustine in the fourth century. Luther was the one who declared that it was ONLY a metaphor; the Council of Trent, naturally, had to oppose him and say quite firmly that it wasn't a metaphor at all.

[rachelmap.livejournal.com]

She really did go off the deep end when her husband died, didn't she?

[ruuger]

I thought she believed Lestat was her husband? Or did that happen only after her real husband died?

And once again I'm feeling pretty glad I stopped reading her books after Queen of the Damned.

[opportunemoment.livejournal.com]

Well, I can kinda see the logic. She talks about God more often in the vampire books than she talks about vampires. Which is a shame, because occasionally there's about to be shiny gay pron and then they start crying and talking about God and you feel really cheated. I can only imagine that this'll be like that only a billion times worse.

[ardath_rekha]

Given how homoerotic Anne's books tend to be, I see Apostle Slash in the near future... don't you?

*cringes and shudders*

[badficwriter.livejournal.com]

....I always thought the Godtalk was a metaphor for sex....transubstantiated sex :)

[coppertone.livejournal.com]

"I'm not a priest. I can't be one."

Well... yeah.

I'm just trainwrecking at the likelihood of ambiguouslygayandpossiblyimpotent!Jesus come November.

[ardath_rekha]

"I am the Christ Jesus. I'm immortal. More or less. A guy named Pontius Pilate, the intense discomfort of a great big cross--these things might destroy me. But then again, they might not."

[oliveoyl.livejournal.com]

*dies*

[stevie-jane.livejournal.com]

Batshit crazy, that woman is, and more so every damn day.

[mike-smith.livejournal.com]

I have attempted something transformative which we writers dare to call a miracle in the imperfect human idiom we possess. It's to bring Him here in the form a story, and that story is Christ The Lord."

Wow, she's gonna write a _book_ about the life of _Jesus_?! That really _is_ a miracle! Wow, Anne Rice is a bonafide genius! I mean, _who else_ could come up with an idea that groundbreaking? Oh, sure, there were those other four jerks, but they probably needed editors to correct their spelling, since they're not as brilliant as Anne Rice. Also, I never heard of Matthew, Mark, Luke or John getting a deal writing crappy vampire novels for Random House, so right away it's clear who the superior writer is.

[diefbaby.livejournal.com]

Wait...what about "Lamb" by Christopher Moore? There's already a book outlining Jesus' early life...as told by his best friend Biff!

[slumber.livejournal.com]

Haha, was just about to say that too. So now her ideas aren't original either.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Anne Rice finds Jesus?

Scary.

Her next fiction book.

"I have been a follower of Jesus for three months. Today, I went to a church and laid down in the aisle near several old ladies. Then I cried. Then I had gay sex. With the old ladies. Despite being a guy."

[lilian-cho.livejournal.com]

ROTFL

Can. totally. see that. happening.

This can be The Tale of the Body Thief: Femmeslash Version.

[vass]

Vampires, Jesus... they're all undead, aren't they? <blasphemy>

[james-the-evil1.livejournal.com]

I'd just like to point out that a few people have put forward the idea (including a freaky pseudo-Christian "academic" named William Myers in his book "Vampires Or Gods?") that most major religions were based on vampires forming cults to follow them.
He said he got the idea from the similarity of the story of Jesus' resurection to the tales of vampires rising, but found parralels in most religions.
So I guess it fits that Anne's going to stir things up a bit.