(no subject)

wenchamok, this little story about the Girl Scouts made me think of you. Ugh. Morons suck.

You know, as bad as yesterday was, what made it even more fun was that the new headphones that I bought on Friday because my other headphones broke ... well, they broke, too. Which pissed me off twice as much when the guy who tells me to do data entry every night came over and apologetically told me to take 'em off so I could hear the phone. Oh, trust me, buddy, I can hear the goddamn phone.

And I've decided that tonight, for kicks, I'm going to answer the phone every time it rings. And I mean every time ... to the point where there's a stack of data entry a mile high and as I walk out the door at 8:30, the guy in charge is forced to whine, "You can't stay any longer?" No ... no, I can't. In fact, at this point, I'd rather have my legs lengthened by tying my ankles to the back of a Metro train and having my ass dragged up and down the blue line for an entire day.

*sighs* Days like today, I wish I had a credit card, if only so that I could haunt the Amazon wish lists you guys tossed together. Instead of, you know, all the meaningless sex I offer. :) *user pounces on ye olde friends list and shags them silly, then once more for luck*

Hee. I love you people more than my luggage. *Carson snuggle*

And I know I haven't gotten enough sleep, because I was clicking through some news stories on Yahoo, caught the name "Sex and the City", and immediately thought, "It's an enjoyable reproductive process! And it's a large social center with very tall buildings! Together, they fight crime!"

In good news, TWoP has their review of Smile Time up. Also, my Peeps are finally starting to go stale. Hmph. That sounds like a medical condition.

EDIT: NEW YORK - Andy Rooney set the phone and e-mail lines at CBS buzzing over his commentary — in which he said God was speaking through him — calling Mel Gibson and the Rev. Pat Robertson "wackos."

*snerk* Okay, just for that opening line alone, I love that story.

I can't decide whether or not I'm going to see it this weekend. Probably, though -- not because I'm all that enthused to go see it, or because I want that anonymous moron from Spain or Amsterdam or wherever to get off on the knowledge, but I hate going into arguments on film unarmed. People who want to tell me how awful a film is and then absolutely refuse to ever, ever see it annoy me as people who tell me that I shouldn't go see a film because "you know how it ends."

Having said that, I would appreciate it if people who go to see "The Passion of the Christ" put their reviews behind lj-cuts, okay? I don't know how it ends and I'd like to keep from being spoiled. But I'm really hoping Jesus gets saved and he and Mary Magdelene live happily ever after. *fangirlish squees*

Uh, kidding. I know how it ends. Jesus has really been dead the whole movie, right?

He and Judas are really the same guy?

Soylent communion wafers are made of Jesus?

Oh, shut up.

(no subject)

Hey, why didn't anybody tell me Lent started this week?!

Okay, so maybe I should have figured that one out on my own. And it's not like I care, of course. Then again, I wouldn't be me unless I went to see "The Passion of the Christ" this weekend and taunted my fellow moviegoers with beer, cigarettes, chocolate, and boobs. All right, so maybe not boobs. And especially not my boobs.

Anyway, Lent. If there's one thing I'm glad to be rid of, it's Lent. I'm a lapsed Catholic in much the same way as I'm a lapsed kindergartner -- I'm a long time from the fold, but I can fake it in a pinch -- so the thought of my giving up anything is beyond ridiculous. And I say that as if I ever actually gave up anything realistic for Lent. This is what I sounded like every year in catechism class ...

Sister What's-Her-Face: And what are you giving up for Lent, Jennifer?
Me: I'm going to give up spelunking, and telekinesis, and eating lobster for breakfast, and incredible feats of dark sorcery ...

Okay, so maybe not exactly like that, but you get the idea. In that respect, think this year for Lent, I'll give up glassblowing, exchanging pen pal letters with Cthulhu, and monkeys. Yes, I shall totally give up monkeys for Lent. Good plan!

By the way, this is what happened when the two supervisors who are still signing me up for full-time status informed me Lent was upon us:

Me: It's Lent already?!
Bossman: Yeah, what are you giving up, Jenn?
(Pause for fake serious thought, then, proudly --)
Me: Absolutely nothing!
Major Asshat: And that's why you'll be failing that drug test, Jenn.

I snorted Coke out of my nose on that one. No, seriously. That ruddy well hurts, damn it.

********

Oh, and spotted on IMDb ... Two-thirds of Americans believe that executions should be televised; 21 percent say they would pay to watch Osama bin Laden be executed on pay-per-view TV; and 11 percent say they would pay to watch Saddam Hussein be executed. The results were included in a Harris poll prepared for the Trio cable network.

Okay, look. I would love to see executions on TV. I would love to see criminals getting decapitated and fried and drawn and quartered and burned at the stake. Know why?

Because I'm a sick, evil fuck who likes to see bad shit, that's why!

However, I know it's wrong, and I know if I expressed such feelings to people who don't know me, they'd think I was insane.

SO, if a pollster had called me up and asked me if I wanted televised executions, I would have smiled sweetly, affected my most innocent voice, and said, "Of course not!"

Which makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with two-thirds of Americans. Sheesh.

(no subject)

( Quick thoughts on Queer Eye tonight )

(no subject)

Dear President Bush,

Your constitutional amendment is probably not going to pass, but thanks bunches for making sure future generations can look at the history books and have official verification you're a hateful, ignorant homophobe.

Sincerely,

Me