there was a young woman from boobville ...

Heroine Addiction:



The good news: I'm getting stuff written!

The bad news: It's mostly dialogue, since I'm trying to build up a few chapters to write around tomorrow. I did the same thing the year I won NaNo, and that's how I got 10k done in a day. I don't expect to pull that off tomorrow, but if I could crack 40k, I'd be thrilled.

EDIT: "Don't Stop Believing" just came on my radio and now I can't stop smiling. HEE. :)

Heroine Addiction:



Chapter Eighteen is done.

Eighteen chapters. Holy shit, you guys. o.O That's more than a little surreal after weeks of writer's block.

I got another rejection today from a prospective job. Not that I've sent out a lot of resumes or anything -- there's not much to be had around here anyway -- but still. I mention it because I think the one thing that's really worrying me about this story is how much I'm focusing on working on it to the detriment of other stuff. Looking for a job hasn't been successful, so I've been slacking. Going out when I'm broke means I can't splurge as much as I like (and when I say "splurge" I'm not talking about getting to throw twenties around or anything, I'm talking in terms of singles here), so I haven't left town much the past month or so. Going out on the town with Jess means another night of her possibly going home with a guy and me heading back home alone, which never bothers me (hey, at least one of us has a sex life) except ... eh, I can't deal with being the lonely sidekick right now.

I mention all that because this is the one thing that's not crashing and burning for me right now, so. *sigh*

I keep thinking about the last time I got laid off in 2001. I was off for six months, and then out of desperation I had to take a job as a telemarketer. So of COURSE I'm focusing on the fucking book that I'm enjoying the hell out of writing, because at least that doesn't pay me a shitty paycheck (it doesn't pay at all -- beside the point, anyway) and require me to call people who snipe at me to get a REAL job when it's the only real job anyone in the area can get (not true anymore, thank God, but there's nothing else either).

I'm sorry if I seem a little too focused on it to the detriment of fic or fandom or whatever, but ... well. That's probably one reason why I went off on the whole "pissing in my lemonade" BS, because seriously, I have maybe fifty bucks for the next two weeks. If I'm not sitting alone in my dark apartment trying to finish another chapter, I've dragged myself down to the cafe just so I'm not some creepy shut-in. I talk to my brother, my parents, Jess, and my pets, and that's it. I can't fit into most of my clothes right now. And the book's the one thing consistently making me happy, even when it's fucking pissing me off. I'm not at, like, needing-to-see-a-doctor levels of depression or anything, but for fuck's sake, if watching over-produced television musical performances or hot communications officers or cheesy variety-show entertainment is giving me a temporary case of the flappyhands, leave me be. I'm not getting a whole lot of that right now, which is probably why I spent a good fifteen minutes before watching the "How Crayons Are Made" video from Sesame Street on repeat. At least no one showed up during those fifteen minutes to kick my cane out from underneath me or shit in my Cheerios or whatever.

But, yeah. Heroine Addiction.

I'm going to try and spend the rest of the night plotting out the rest of the book. We'll see how that goes. I've got the final chapter finished, so as per usual, it's just a matter of getting from point A to point Z. Or, I suppose it's more aptly point G or H to point Z. Whatever. I think I could be moving a little quicker with an outline, so plotting it is.

It's rainy and cold and gross out. I don't think I have to mention how much that's not helping my mood at ALL.

Heroine Addiction:



I've written all of the dialogue for chapter nineteen so now I just have to write the action around it, which I should be able to get done today.

I think I may be a little bit worried because there hasn't been a big dangerous situation as of yet. I'm used to throwing in fights here or there and Vera's just not built for fights. So a part of me feels like there's nothing happening except, seriously, there's a LOT happening.

*

A few things:

-- I just discovered that Drop Dead Gorgeous is up on YouTube. I am not allowed to drop everything to watch it, since it's not going anywhere and I've got writing to do and just because I love that movie and it's a crime I don't have it on DVD is no excuse. Hmph.

-- I haven't watched Susan Boyle's second BGT performance. I ... don't really care to. Way to over-saturate the hell out of her, media.

-- Speaking of the cafe, apparently thanks to everybody having the day off, this is the busiest I've ever seen this place outside of the nights with live music. Awesome.

-- That extra fifty bucks we're supposed to get from unemployment every two weeks? Yeah, last week's is taking forever to show up in my account, although it's all explained on their website. But ... but MONEY. I neeeeeeds it.

-- 14 More of the Most Unintentionally Gay Rap Lyrics Ever NSFW, obviously.

-- Do you realize that I did not even know about Top Chef Masters until a few days ago? Clearly I am so far out of the loop it's ridiculous and I need to rectify that posthaste.

-- Is it this weekend yet? I don't care if I'm broke, I'm splurging on Up even if I can't afford to. Screw it, I rarely miss Pixar on the first day ... the only two I still haven't seen are Cars and Ratatouille.

-- I haven't brainstormed new story ideas for when I'm done with Heroine Addiction yet, possibly because I'm a little afraid if I do I'll drag myself from the story or something. Bah. Finish novel first, come up with new one second.

-- I only just realized that we're having a Memorial Day parade because the little Irish waitress told one of the other customers to go outside now if he wanted to watch. Hi, I'm oblivious! *headsmack* (Not like it matters. I've never been a big fan of parades anyway, so. *shrugs*)

Heroine Addiction:



But hey, I cracked whatever it was that was keeping me from going ahead with chapter 17, so there's that.

Heroine Addiction:



I've been writing dialogue all day. That's not a bad thing. If I can manage to write another chapter of dialogue today, I can pile on the words like crazy once I start in on the surrounding action.

Okay, look, let me just state something right now. I am terrified I won't finish this. SCARED AS FUCK. I stalled with GPW in the middle. I stalled with The Monsters of Moosic in the middle. I stalled with The Hollow Girl on chapter four, for fuck's sake. I'm at about 31k. If everything goes according to tradition, I'm going to write another twenty thousand words and then sputter to a stop.

Ugh. I absolutely do NOT want that to happen this time.

If I can manage to just keep a steady pace here -- no "I will get this done by the end of June/July/August/the year/this century" -- I'll be thrilled. At my current pace I'd be done by the middle of July, but I'm not holding myself to that or stressing myself out about it. I just want to keep going, that's all.

*sigh*

I feel like buying myself a present just for getting halfway rather than when I finish like I normally do. Of course, if I do that my brain will probably just stop anyway because it'll be like, "Oh, new toy! So we're done now, right?"

I haven't even edited The Grand Prize Winner yet. *headdesk*

Heroine Addiction:



Chapter fifteen is DONE, bitches. \o/

I'd stay up and try to crack 30k, but screw it, that shit was hard. I'm going to read Merlin/Arthur porn and then go the hell to bed so I can sleep off my stupid headache.

EDIT: And because I was curious and hadn't checked lately, my current YTD getyourwordsout count:



Also, I've written more since the beginning of the month than I have for any single month this year so far. I think my highest my highest before now was something like 12 or 13k and this month it's already 17k. WOOHOO.

Heroine Addiction:



I wouldn't stop right now, but I'm freaking EXHAUSTED.

Heroine Addiction:



I'm hungry and listening to the Wedding Songs channel on AOL radio for no apparent reason. Clearly, trying to finish this silly, stupid book has broken me.

Wouldn't it be funny if this thing turned out to be GOOD? I'd laugh my fucking ass off. "But ... but it's crack. I only wrote it because I couldn't come up with anything else! So I just threw everything I liked in novels into a blender and wrote that."

Also, I mentally cast Jensen as an invulnerable former cowboy with no hair. IDEK. You figure it out.

Now I've switched the radio to the Party Hits channel and, as always, am singing along. Your moment of zen for tonight is picturing me waving my hands in the air and belting out, "I love it when they call me Big Poppa!" Unsurprisingly ... a tad silly coming from the five-foot-two white girl.

Heroine Addiction:



I'm almost done with the final chapter. I should be able to get at least another chapter done today or reach 25k (hopefully that), especially considering everybody else gets to go see Star Trek but my broke five-dollars-until-unemployment-day ass has to stay home. *pouts*

Heroine Addiction:



Just finished chapter twelve. Or at least I have for tonight. Naaaaaaaaaaap.

Heroine Addiction:



I just finished chapter eleven. I'll probably add more to it later, but right now it's fine the way it is. Besides, I threw a monkey wrench into my straight-forward storyline out of the blue and now I kind of have to figure out where I'm going with it. I like it, though. It makes a lot of sense with what I've got in mind.

I'd go down to the cafe, but I'm holding off on leaving the house for the next couple of days if I can help it due to how broke I am. I might have to rearrange my bill-paying schedule because I'm just that broke. Urgh. I just want to go drink tea and eat paninis and not be a broke jobless slob who sits around her apartment all damn day. *pouts*

Heroine Addiction:



I finished chapter ten, so there's that. I took a nap before because I felt ridiculously awful, but at least I feel a little better now.

Of course, now the cat has stretched out across my wrists and fallen asleep, so clearly he's no help. Hmph.

Untitled:



I just finished chapter nine. And now I'm looking at chapter ten and I have a feeling it's all I'll get done tomorrow because it's looking like it'll be a job of work like CRAZY. I think I might have to resort to writing the dialogue first for this one, but we'll see.

EDIT: I swear to God, I'm just going to end up naming the damn thing Heroine Addiction and call it a day.

Untitled:



I didn't get as much done as I would have I liked yesterday, mostly because -- and I didn't even realize this until I changed from web view to print view in Open Office -- I hit my average chapter length on chapter seven and was still going on the scene. Heh. Oops?

I'm doing really well with it, in any event. I know what the next two chapters involve, so I just have to buckle down and write them today. That'll catch me up to the level I was at before I slacked off yesterday and will also mean I'll be starting with chapter ten when I wake up tomorrow. Oh, hello there, book! :D

I'm not doing a checklist of all of the chapters I've gotten done like I did with GPW. I'm going from start to finish with this story, which is weird and new for me, so I really have no idea how many chapters we're talking about here. I want to say it'll definitely be more than usual, since my average is somewhere around 35 to 40 and this one's looking to be something like fifty chapters, but that's mostly due to the way I've set up the chapters. Every time I break for a scene, I go to a new chapter. Hey, whatever works.

I feel like I'm talking to myself because every time I start talking about this book I imagine everybody drifts off like when Elliot and Carla talk about shoe shopping on Scrubs. Heh.

Also, I keep having to remind myself that it's not fanfic if you want to write a missing scene from the book you're writing. But ... but ... it's hot! And it's femmeflash! Canon femmeslash! And it's twisted! (Of course, it also happens before the events in the story and I'm trying to avoid flashbacks for a change, SO. Hmph.)

Untitled:



I want to stay up later and finish chapter seven, but I don't feel good and it's okay if I don't anyway. A chapter to a chapter and a half a day is working just fine for me right now.

I was talking to the cafe's owner the other day about this story and I said that I keep up at the rate I'm going, I'll end up finishing this in two more weeks and I'll somehow manage not to be needy enough to beg somebody to read the first few chapters so they can tell me that it doesn't suck and I'm a great writer and that publishing companies are just big stupid meanie-pants. I'm really at a point with this story where I'm like, "Fuck it, I'M enjoying it, and that's all that matters." My validation issues, let me show you them.

Also, I'm pretty sure that I just managed in six days to write more than I wrote in all of both February and March. Heh.

Untitled:



I'm debating whether to go to Scrabble night at the cafe. I signed up, but that was before I broke through my writer's block, back when I figured that I could use the socialization and the brain exercising, you know? (That makes it sound like it was sooooo long ago when I only broke through six days ago. Heh.)

But I've been writing at a steady pace since I woke up and if I'm still pounding away come six o'clock, I may just stay home and keep it up. Hell, at this rate I may even save SPN for later and keep writing, and I'm looking forward to this episode to a ludicrous degree.

WRITING. WOOT WOOT. \O/

Untitled:



I just finished chapter five. Now I'm going to take a little break and start in on chapter six.

Still no title. Heh. Usually I've got one by now, and instead I'm pouring all my creativity into writing the damn thing. Hell, I'm certainly not going to complain about THAT. :)

Untitled:



Eventually someone will get to read this. I think. Heh.

And my nonspoilery reaction to Heroes goes like this: LOL WUT.

EDIT: Heeeey, Adrienne Palicki's on tonight's episode of CSI Miami! I don't know if she's coming back, but hey, there she went.

Untitled:



I just started the third chapter. I should have it done by the end of the day. This feels odder than it should considering I started it only three days ago. I'm going to dig up some sneakers and head over to the park to shoot around for a bit, but then it's back down to the apartment to write some more.

How much more writing I got done today --

The Hollow Girl:



Nearly Departed:



Blood Red Carpet:



Sunflower Seed:



Tomorrow I'm going to try sketching out plot outlines for the other three, see if that helps any.

Current getyourwordsout word count:



I also hate my brain. Grr.

The ending needs massive amounts of work and I'm going to sprain something editing this fucker but I don't care because the first draft is fucking DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE.

Okay, now I have to go get my I-finished goodies from everybody I gave them to so I wouldn't play with them early.

Current word count of GPW:

107,536 / 100,000 (107.5%)

Day 56 of my getyourwordsout pledge:

24,887 / 300,000 (8.3%)

A few things:

1. I will just be happy if I get the two chapters I'm close to finishing done by the end of the month. Er, week. Well, same dif. *sigh*
2. I currently have what I should have had done for all of last month. Urgh.
3. I still haven't started my Big Bang.
4. I really wish I could get over my brain's refusal to work on anything else until I finish GPW.

Current word count for GPW:

104,403 / 100,000 (104.4%)

Day 43 of my getyourwordsout pledge:

21,404 / 300,000 (7.1%)

I am SO far behind. I think I'm something like 13k behind where I'm supposed to be today.

I'm trying to give myself more ideas to play around with so I can see if something will stick by adding to my list of story ideas. I've added three since this morning. They're really basic, and there's a couple I think would work better as screenplays anyway. But still, better than nothing, I suppose.

Current word count for GPW:

102,050 / 100,000 (102.0%)

Current word count for Heroine Chic:

865 / 100,000 (0.9%)

Day 36 of my getyourwordsout pledge:

19,051 / 300,000 (6.4%)

I have to run to the bank and straighten up my apartment so the rest is going to have to wait, but hey, better than nothing. :)