*growls*

[apocalypsos]

You know, one of these days, I'm going to make a list called "Things Guys Do That Make Them Considerably Less Attractive To The Opposite Sex," and on it, I'm going to put ...

Cat-calling from moving vehicles
Telling a girl she looks like she 'likes to party'
Trying to get access to a girl by harrassing her friends and family
Kissing a girl's ass to embarrassing extremes at every turn
Trying to force a sense of humor when you have none
Behaving like an asshat
Behaving like a stalker
Bothering a girl when she's obviously trying to do something else
Treating a girl like she's an idiot
Always having to be right about everything
Referencing porn with no fair warning
Buying a girl stuff and thinking that entitles you to something

Urgh. I can't think of anything else right now. I can only think of the things guys have done to piss me off and irritate the hell out of me in the past few days.

Anybody else want to have a go?

Comments

[livejamie.livejournal.com]

attention, attention everybody. i am about to reference porn!

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I was thinking more along the lines of someone who ... well, let's just say that they showed me to porn and I didn't ask for it.

If I want porn, I'll find it myself. Thank you. Now go away. (That's not to you, by the way, it's to the one who thought it'd be such a hit with me. Urgh.)

Hmm

[ivorette.livejournal.com]

How about "Not taking a fucking hint when the girl wants you to stop bothering her."

That might count as stalking, though.

[anne-jumps.livejournal.com]

Heh, a "cattle call" is a term for casting, I think.
I do believe you mean "cat-calling," dear TP....

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Ooops. Can you tell how annoyed I am right now? ;)

Then again, I am from dairy country ...

[gruyere.livejournal.com]

Always having to be right about everything

I'm guilty with that, but I've always been. Rather, it's more of never admitting that I'm wrong - I often am, but I'll never concede it.

[teenygozer.livejournal.com]

I'm guilty with that, but I've always been. Rather, it's more of never admitting that I'm wrong - I often am, but I'll never concede it.

Well, if you're not scraping the honeys off with a stick, maybe now you know why!

[anne-jumps.livejournal.com]

How about hitting on a girl when you know she has a boyfriend?

[vampwillow]

... or a girlfriend ;-)

[budclare.livejournal.com]

Hair. All over the bathroom. And never cleaning it up. *seethes*

[whitetower.livejournal.com]

Huh. Let's say that said guy has managed to credibly claim non-asshole status, and you and he have reached the "fooling around" stage.

DUDE, IF YOU TRY AND PUSH MY HEAD DOWN WITHOUT ASKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT, ALL YOU WILL SEE IS THE BACK OF IT GETTING SMALLER AND SMALLER. VERY FAST.

*deep breath*

Just don't touch my fucking head, all right?

/personal hang-up. :)

[trishalynn.livejournal.com]

And no ear-grabbing or hair-pulling. Totally. Unless we're playing a game with you, we are not here to be yanked around and shoved at while "fooling around". It's supposed to be a mutual thing, not a "You are here for my pleasure, bitch" thing.

[siegeofangels.livejournal.com]

Loud thumping bass issuing from your pimped-out Neon. That really turns us on. Oh, wait. That's a migrane.

Spitting.

Telling jokes that degrade women. (A guy once was talking about his college, an institution oriented toward training airplane pilots and engineers. He mentioned that it also has a very low percentage of females enrolled, and they should "open a flight attendant school next door." Bzzz. Ooh, sorry, thanks for playing; we have some lovely parting gifts.

[octopedingenue]

Loud thumping bass issuing from your pimped-out Neon. That really turns us on. Oh, wait. That's a migrane.

A friend has gotten me (and our other friends) into the road-habit of saying "Golly, I bet he has a large penis!" about guys of this ilk.

I live in dread of the day I forget and say it with my mother in the car.

[sylk.livejournal.com]

Not backing off when a girl's said she's uncomfortable.
Not realizing the difference between 'friends' and 'more than friends' and interpreting everything to mean the second.
Swearing that you'll get her a present - and then never following through.

Asking to sleep in her bedroom.
Inviting her to sleep with you.

[robyn-ma.livejournal.com]

a lot of these would apply to the more aggressive breed of butch dykes ;)

[ficangel.livejournal.com]

Being upset when a girl prefers to honor her pride and pay her own way once in a while. You are not a sultan, I am not a member of your harem, kthxbie.

[ficangel.livejournal.com]

Ooh, or now that I think of it, even worse: Freaking touching me when I have known your for ten minutes and have been scooching away for 9 and a half of those minutes. I had a guy who tried to stroke my hair while I was sitting outside of my Psychology class, attempting to do a last bit of cramming, last semester. Nearly nutted him right then and there.

[malhablada.livejournal.com]

I had a guy get furious with me for my steadfast refusal to fake orgasms. I laid there looking every bit as bored as I was, and that was offensive to him for some reason. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't worth the effort I would have to put into retraining, so I didn't bother teaching him what to do.

Which gets us around to MY gripe about men. Every single guy I've related that story to seems to side with my ex. As if I have the responsibility to fake orgasms to protect their pride. For fucks sake, learn basic anatomy! Or, failing that, at least don't get upset when I'm too busy counting the ceiling tiles in your bedroom to give an Oscar-worthy fake orgasm performance.

[trishalynn.livejournal.com]

The guys I've been with say it's worse to fake than it is to say, "Sorry, it's not happening" or "Can you just [do this] for me after I'm done with you?" Last guy I was with actually appreciated that I said that it wasn't happening, so we rested and tried again later.

[adjectivegirl.livejournal.com]

It's really the You Aren't Into My Shit, Thus You Are A Lesbian bit that gets me, which of course if you try to deny flips straightaway into the What Do YOU Have A Problem With Lesbians? Ah, circular arguments.

[vampirespider.livejournal.com]

And the anti of that arguement. Which gets you dialogue like so:

'I'm a lesbian'

"I can change your mind!"

"Thank you, but no"

"Seriously, after having me you won't look at a girl again"

"No"

"Jesus, what do you have against MEN?? Why are you so elitist."

...

Men, sometimes.

[dawning-star.livejournal.com]

Addressing my chest and not my face. That enrages me more than anything else. I also despise guys assuming that, since I am female, I know nothing about mechanics or repairs. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

[silent-sybil.livejournal.com]

Addressing my chest and not my face. That enrages me more than anything else.

Rrrrr, second that. >

I hear ya...

[azzinita.livejournal.com]

Some of these are gleaned from my SO, some are just bad guy behavior.

1. Telling you that he's going to a meeting with his buddies for an hour or two, and disapearing for 12 hours

1(a) and gets all confused as to why you are upset

2. Calling you drunk at 3 am and wanting to sleep in your bed

3. The word love being used as anything but a descriptive verb, i.e. "I fucking love the raiders!" Is an automatic "RUN! RUN THE FUCK AWAY!"

4. Thinking you are a 7-11, open 24 hours at their convinience, but somehow disapearing when you need them.

5. You razzing on your guy friend, guy-style, makes him all butt hurt and you have to appologise, but he then turns around and pointing out how slutty one of your friends is.

6. Criticizing the way you walk.

7. When you joke about taking up life as stripper because work forgets to pay you again, he takes you seriously and lists places where you can shop.

8. Knowing a porn star's bust line better than his mother's birthday.

9. Telling you how much more attractive you would be to your SO if you just changed your hair/clothes/got a boob job/etc....

10. Is abosulutely always right. Even when he's wrong.

10(a) and will refuse to pay up if there's money involved.

11. Refusing to hang out with you because your SO happens to be one of their friends, and that's "just weird."

12. Dumping you because he needs "space" (i.e. you wouldn't sleep with him) and shacks up with your friend two weeks later.

13. All they really think about is food and sex. Really. And in that order.

............

I could go on. It's not that I hate guys. Trust me, my list on women would be much longer. :)

[dargie.livejournal.com]

Solving or threatening to solve every problem with their fists.
Getting into fights with total strangers over stuff like the girlfriend (How dare you look at my girlfriend!) or traffic (How dare you drive on my street!)
Apologizing for living.
Ignoring your girlfriend when your buddies are around. (Women do this too. Either way it's inexcusable.)

[vivian-shaw.livejournal.com]

Ah, brilliant.

a) Buying a perfectly serviceable, normal, respectable car and then fucking ruining it by adding aftermarket ground-effects, a spoiler resembling a big fucking handle, illegal glasspacks, those black lenses over the headlamps, and big fucking stickers with either the Honda or Toyota symbol OR the sigil "No Fear" on the back window. Newsflash, barryboys: this does not equal Sexual Magnetism, this implies "I Am An Asshole." Especially when you try and do handbrake turns in a car that wasn't designed for high-speed performance. I can fucking handbrake-turn a car too, and I don't use this skill to get poon.

This may be because I am a girl.

Nevertheless, lay off the goddamn aftermarket mods, because they make you look twice as stupid as you are.

b)Yelling at me as I walk down the street. Do you really think that I will turn around, shuck off my shirt, and sashay over to you while saying "Please, random fucking street person, take me now; your incoherent shrieks have brought me to the brink of multiple orgasms"?

[dpaul007.livejournal.com]

*THIS* is a perfect example of why I have you on my FRJ list (beside you being somewhat gorgeous [grin]).

Your snark-fu is most powerful.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

I've seen guys be perfect gentlemen around their ladies and then talk crude when they are alone with the guys about the same lady. Makes me want to punch them hard.

[guinevere33.livejournal.com]

Amen! To add to the list:

Offense #47: Ever, ever, EVER saying something along the lines of "Yeah, I fucked her good" to one's guy friends.

[randomblade.livejournal.com]

Yes! "hey baybee, come and get in my cah. I have a new subwoofah, come and check it out"

"why thankyou. A subwoofer, you say? How charming. I am sure that will give me very great orgasms. Please, I would love to examine the interior of your vehicle. Also, if I do so, please allow all your charming friends to observe and participate in the ensuing 'gang-bang'. This would make me happy and validated above all things."

[seferin.livejournal.com]

Well, in all fairness, according to howard stern, it is possible for a woman to get off if she sits on it. Er, the subwoofer I mean.

[crantz.livejournal.com]

fail to remember their names.


actually, I only did that to a guy but I've been informed I'd get whipped again by a textbook if I did it to my current gf. I wonder if I should add 'request to stop being hit, as it demonstrates you are weak and should be killed and eaten to strengthen the herd'. damn army kids.

[dodyskin.livejournal.com]

mistaking irony and bigotry, and then complaining when called on it

[ceciliadoll.livejournal.com]

Oooh, ooh, I've got some suggestions!

1. Grabbing a girls ass in a club and then looking stunned and innocent when they turn round and tell you to fuck off
2. Trying again directly after being told to fuck off
3. Asking a girl out five times, being politely rejected five times, and then accusing her of messing you about
4. Trying to ram your tongue down a girl's throat without introducing yourself properly first
5. Telling a girl who doesn't respond to your leers and dirty jokes that she obviously has no sense of humour
6. Refusing to officialy go out with a girl but expecting her to drop everything when you want to have sex with her
7. And then getting moody when she want to see you but you're busy
8. Hanging around two girls making it obvious that you intend to pull either one of them, but don't really care which

Ok, that's enough. I could go on forever, but I'll try not to!

[dawning-star.livejournal.com]

Better yet, grabbing a girl's ass, then acting insulted when she slugs you or knees you in the groin.

[cinemascribe.livejournal.com]

after she demonstrates a free independent spirit, he continually feels the need to open her car door before she gets in, defend her to every single negative complaint that comes her way (when she is capable of handling herself)

[wal-lace.livejournal.com]

...

Would anyone believe me if I asserted that looking down this list, and all the suggestions everyone else has made, I've never done any of these things?

Thought not. Ah, well. At least it means I won't be having my penis confiscated anytime soon.

[seferin.livejournal.com]

And here I thought that was the point?

[darketherdream.livejournal.com]

*randomly wanders in from metaquotes land*

...could you list 'calling you cute, as if it were a brilliant compliment' as one? I know that some see it as a compliment, but I know that it enrages others to great extremes of violence...